November 11 08

“mommy, you look beautiful”

Josh says this – completely unprompted – when i walked in the door post every-3-months visit to Jasmine the hair guru. ah, sons. they certainly know the way to your heart, don’t they? now if only he would get his stinkin’ bakugans out of my purse…

i’ve talked about this before. how i love getting my hair done. how i love sitting and just shutting the fuck up for a few hours. how i love to sit and read the latest Cosmo (well, usually it’s a couple months behind…August 2008…with Scarlett Johansson on the cover…when she was still all hush hush about Ryan Reynolds *drool*)

(okay, new wordpress version…where the hell is my insert image button? seriously? where the hell is it? why can’t i insert images? WAH!!!!!!!!)

um, ps, Cosmo = total porn. i swear. i was almost embarrassed to be reading it while Jasmine was working away on my hair. i didn’t want her to see that i was reading an article entitled “what his public hair grooming style tells you about his personality” or something to that effect.

my god, i read Cosmo when i was, like, 13.

my god, Emily better not ever read Cosmo. ever.

yes. i was reading it. come on, of course i was intrigued. but, seriously, how on earth could the state of a man’s nether regions possibly have anything to do with his personality??????? does it not have to do with the woman in his life? does he not do what she says? (i know that’s how it works in our house) also…saying that a man who shaves his balls is overcompensating for a small wiener surely can not be scientific fact, right? i mean, WHAT? and that he’s controlling? seriously? who buys this shit?

my god, please don’t let it be Emily. ever.

so, redfaced, i had to shut the Cosmo. and i turned my attention to the tween girl who was having her hair cut for Locks of Love. i think this program is fantastic. Donating hair to children who don’t have any is so selfless. i don’t think i could do it. it always makes me think of that scene in Little Women when Amy tells Jo that her hair was “her one beauty”…i don’t think i could put my hair in a ponytail and have someone just chop it off.

this girl, though, oh, this girl. she said she hadn’t BRUSHED her hair in more than 6 months.

(think: Bride of Frankenstein meets The Witches of Eastwick)

(only way worse)

so, they needed THREE people and FORTY minutes to brush through her hair. that’s almost an hour. and when they finally cut off all that hair i, along with every single person in that salon, exhaled sighs of relief. this was the best thing this girl could have ever done for herself. cut it all off and start over.

she walked away with a cute bob and i walked away with my (curly! Jasmine is the only person in the world who can give my hair BOUNCE!) hair flouncing and thought for a second…hmm…maybe i’d look good with a bob?

as long as i can keep my daughter away from Cosmopolitan magazine, and i can keep my son telling me that i look beautiful, i MAY consider it…. 😉

(pictures. stupid wordpress. this post needs pictures!!)

PS. my bestie, Tova, who has her very own company (she’s awesome! she really is!!) Magnique, is going to be on TV tomorrow!!! She’s going to be on The Mom Show on Wed Nov 10 at 2pm ET/11am PT on the Slice Network. set your DVRs and PVRS and Tivos!

  1. I’ve been seriously considering cutting my hair off. I’m just a big fat chicken, emphasis on fat, so I probably won’t go through with it.

    Wow this post would have been awesome if it had pictures. heh 😉

    Comment by AJ on November 11, 2008
  2. One: My former roomie in NYC, who came to visit me last week, is an editor at Cosmo. I joke that her job description should say “finding multiple synonyms for penis.”

    Two: I’m on my way to get my hair cut now. Weeee!

    camels & chocolates last blog post..The Unveiling

    Comment by camels & chocolate on November 11, 2008
  3. Oops for some reason, that linked my ooooold blog.

    camels & chocolates last blog post..Orange Crush

    Comment by camels & chocolate on November 11, 2008
  4. Oh, how I love that “Steel Magnolias” moment. Almost as much as I love my salon time every 8 weeks, that is.

    I laughed at the Cosmo reference. It was a mere 5 years ago when I let my subscription run out, but when I pick it up now, I feel like such an old biddy. I seriously can’t believe the scandalous stuff they put in there, and that I used to hang on every word!

    Comment by Legallyblondemel on November 11, 2008
  5. I haven’t read Cosmo in at least 5 years. It is my crowning achievement of adulthood.

    Comment by slynnro on November 11, 2008
  6. i consider cutting my hair off and donating it all the time….maybe this time i actually will!

    rachaels last blog post..happy 16 months peaches!!!

    Comment by rachael on November 11, 2008
  7. When I was in high school, my friend’s mother always called ‘Cosmo’ ‘Crotchmapolitan’, which was so gross. But now I can’t ever see that mag without thinking it. So I lolled especially at your PS on Cosmo being porn.

    anne nahms last blog post..WTF Minivans?

    Comment by anne nahm on November 11, 2008
  8. Steel Magnolias…best movie! I have to say I stalked through your flikr pictures yesterday 😉 …you’ve got great hair…love it…no cut.

    Amys last blog post..Run Forest Run

    Comment by Amy on November 11, 2008
  9. When I was in high school, I used to go up to the video store my friend worked at during the summer and we would do the Cosmo quiz each month and read about (shhh) s-e-x. Only wow! Today, Cosmo is more sex than it was back in the olden days! I make sure no one sees me gawking at it while I’m waiting in line to pay for groceries!

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..’til now, i always got by on my own. except nope, not really.

    Comment by differentkindofgirl on November 11, 2008
  10. I cut off all my hair before my hysterectomy last year and donated it. It was really freeing, plus I totally didn’t feel like dealing with my hair for a while so the new bob was a welcomed excuse to take a break form the hairdryer.

    kd@abitsquirrellys last blog post..My Life Stopped for Six Minutes

    Comment by kd@abitsquirrelly on November 11, 2008
  11. Ali i bet your hair looks fabulous! and cosmo i haven’t read that mag in like almost 20 years…

    Comment by LAVENDULA on November 11, 2008
  12. Back in the 70s, my mom bought Cosmo. Back in the 70s it wasn’t uncommon for the Cosmo models to be topless. When I was in 2nd grade or so, I was busted for selling cut-out Cosmo pics to the boys. In the boy’s bathroom. For a dollar each. Mom never bought Cosmo again. True story.

    mommypies last blog post..Caption this, Baby.

    Comment by mommypie on November 11, 2008
  13. OMG Ali…I saw your friend’s booth at the Style at home show and I just loved their stuff..only the girl at the booth when I walked by didn’t have any bus cards or anything I could take with me and I had no pen…so I forgot about them…but now…FOUND!!! Yeah!!!

    KathyMs last blog post..On having a newborn

    Comment by KathyM on November 11, 2008
  14. Julia will NEVER read Cosmo.



    Comment by mamatulip on November 11, 2008
  15. Why can’t you post images? It’s so easy…. Also, just use photobucket and put the code in? Easy?

    Monkey is NEVER reading cosmo. Although, God knows the girl has THE CURIOSITY already!!!

    Haley-Os last blog post..What to Do When Motherhood Seems Thankless….

    Comment by Haley-O on November 11, 2008
  16. You know, I was thinking just today of the LONG, LONG list of horrible things I read or watched at very, very young ages, and how I’m going to put my girls into convent school or something to keep them from reading and/or watching what I did.
    I need to get my hair done. I should probably make an appointment, eh?

    Becks last blog post..Remembering

    Comment by Beck on November 11, 2008
  17. What the heck is a “bakugan” and where can I pick up or could you send me those Cosmos? Is it cheaper than Playboy? 😉

    If you need help with images and what not, I am sure I can help.

    Hockeymans last blog post..Sometimes They Just Appear

    Comment by Hockeyman on November 11, 2008
  18. I have always thought about giving my hair to Locks of Love but my hair is super thin and looks terrible any length beyond the shoulder. Plus, I don’t think they will take dyed hair and it will be a cold day before I stop dying my hair.

    Collettes last blog post..It’s those damn peanuts again

    Comment by Collette on November 11, 2008
  19. Cosmo – I only ever read that in hair salons. Sometimes I think I’d rather buy a large box of condoms and a vat of lard, than a copy of cosmoporn, because OMG, ever read their annual Astrological Sex Guide? Yes, those are the things that warp young girls minds. BTW, what does a groomed lightening bolt of carpet mean? Just wondering…

    katie ~ motherbumpers last blog post..The Wall

    Comment by katie ~ motherbumper on November 11, 2008
  20. I am totally not upgrading WordPress is you can’t upload photos!

    I LOVE when I go get my hair done. Such a treat!

    Angellas last blog post..I’m So SAD

    Comment by Angella on November 12, 2008
  21. I think I would be seriously SCARED if the pubes were “groomed”?!?!?
    Oh My Lawd.

    I donated 12″ of hair to Locks of Love several years ago – it was fun.

    monstergirlees last blog post..6 Years Ago Today!!!!

    Comment by monstergirlee on November 12, 2008
  22. I’m getting my hair cut and coloured in a couple of hours and I can’t wait. I love it, too, and I also use that time to get caught up on celebrity gossip.

    Assertagirls last blog post..Calling all fashionistas.

    Comment by Assertagirl on November 12, 2008
  23. OOOH! I get my haircut tomorrow- very excited!!!

    There really should be an image button on wordpress – are you in wysiwyg or html?

    pgoodnesss last blog post..A non off day off

    Comment by pgoodness on November 12, 2008
  24. I’m growing my hair out right now for Locks of Love. I’ve got a long way to go. I’m hoping I don’t give up when I have long hair in the middle of August and just want it ALL CUT OFF!

    But I promise to brush it.

    Kristabellas last blog post..Winter Wonderland

    Comment by Kristabella on November 13, 2008
  25. Oh the good old days of reading SexMo as a 6th-grader. I can vaguely remember asking my mom what female “ajacmagation” was. Yeah, it was Highlights for Children from there on out.

    The Over-Thinkers last blog post..Hangin’ (Tough) with Over-Thinker. That’s right, I went to a NKOTB concert. Jealous? No? Suck it then.

    Comment by The Over-Thinker on November 13, 2008
  26. First time visitor/commenter!
    I am also a part time southerner, and I’m married to a cheesehead; it’s a delicate balance. Big Ten vs. SEC???
    Locks of Love will take colored hair…for the commenter above!
    My eight year old, the Bear, recently donated eleven inches of her hair to LOL and we are so proud of her.
    Will definitely be checking in again, soon.

    The Benevolent Dictas last blog post..NaBloPoMo-NoMo’

    Comment by The Benevolent Dicta on November 14, 2008
  27. I want a cute new bob, too, only it would like ridiculous on me!

    Cosmo is totally all sex. I can’t read it anymore. It makes me feel dirty.

    Courtneys last blog post..Thus Far, My Scariest Moment As A Parent

    Comment by Courtney on November 17, 2008

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