January 20 12

“Mama, what’s your favorite part about being a mom?”

Sweet, I thought at first. But then I saw right through her. She’s smart, this one. What’s the easiest way to beat someone at Perpetual Commotion? Distraction.

“Um, so I could have someone to always beat at board games, obviously.”

“Come on, really. What’s the very best part?”

“So I can have someone to play with my hair and watch schmoopy shows with?”

“So I won’t be alone when Daddy goes on business trips?”

“So I can have someone who looks at me, and says “I LOVE YOU,” and I know, from the bottom of my heart, that they really and truly mean it. Wow. That sounds kind of selfish, doesn’t it?”

“I think it sounds perfect. Mama?”



“You little monster!”

“Mama, what’s your least favorite part about being a mom?”

“That’s easy.”

THIS is my life.

“Mama, are you going to finish that glass of water?”

“Mama! I’m so thirsty! I need a drink right this very minute!”

“Mama, can I just have a sip of your tea?”

“Mama, I need a drink. Can I have your water bottle?”

“Can I have your cup?”

“Can I have your glass?”

“Can I have your mug?”

“Can I have your [insert any other drink receptacle here]?”

And the problem is that I don’t share drinks with my children. (Once they’ve drunk, it’s sunk.)

Not since January 16th, 2007.

That was the unfortunate time I took a swig of my water bottle and realized that the little tiny thing that had just “had a teensy, weensy sip” of my water had left behind some half-eaten cashews.

I’m gagging just thinking about it. And it was SEVEN years ago.


This is the reason why my nightstand often looks like this.

No open water bottle is safe.


Sometimes I dream of a world where I can drink my drinks safely without the possibility of theft, or half-eaten food particles.

But then I’d have no one to play with my hair or watch crappy tv with.

And I’d be alone when Daddy goes on business trips.

And there’d be no one to unconditionally love me.

And there’d be no one to beat me at Perpetual Commotion.




  1. Your nightstand reminds me of the little girl from Signs. “It’s contaminated.”

    Comment by Hockeymandad on January 20, 2012
  2. I’m going to start calling you the Ancient Mariner.

    Comment by Gav on January 20, 2012
  3. With me, it’s toast. If I want to have a piece of toast, I have to wait until everyone is out of the house or snarf it in the dark in the kitchen, and hope no one notices. They grab it out of my hand on its way to to my mouth. It’s insane.

    As for drinks – I just say no. I have never shared with them, I cite germs, and they’re okay with it.

    Comment by Jessica on January 20, 2012
  4. Growing up I remember how my mom refused to share drinks. I mean it was her glass and she would not give it up type of not share. If we wanted a drink of what she was having she would go get us our own glass. She always said she thought it was gross and I could never wrap my head around how she could kiss and be kiss but not share a sip of her drink. You have given me another way of looking at it and I will finally cut my mom some slack on that issue. Also, thanks for the game link. I am stock up on 2 player games that I force my husband to play with me in the evening after the runt has been put to bed.

    Comment by Jenn on January 20, 2012
  5. I had to Google Jenny Cavalleri. I just kept thinking she was Kristin’s sister.

    Comment by Kristabella on January 20, 2012
  6. I was wondering who would get the reference…

    Comment by ali on January 20, 2012
  7. Love Story. And probably the dumbest line ever. My kids steal whatever I eat when they’ve asked for something special (this is mostly on nights when we do whatever you find in the fridge for dinner). And real love means you share your food/water and say you’re sorry first.

    Comment by Sherry Carr-Smith on January 20, 2012
  8. I now want to watch Love Story… I’ve always hated that line. I mean when someone who supposedly loves you doesn’t say sorry, then how can you possibly expect someone who doesn’t love you to say it? bah.

    For me it’s not so much the drink thing, although I don’t like to share drinks with them for the same reason (yucky backwash), it’s the last bite. My daughter always takes my last bite. sigh.

    Comment by Sandy on January 20, 2014

    Comment by ali on January 20, 2014

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