September 1 10

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that civic almost made me smile lose my damn mind.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make that stick shift dance effing work.
And, maybe, it’d possibly work for a while.

But yesterday the engine bit it
With every inch I tried to drive it
Bad news in the old car;
It wouldn’t take us very far.

I can’t remember if I weeped
When Isabella and I walked down the street,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the civic died.

So bye-bye, stupid piece of shit car.
Drove you for ten years too long,
With those stupid non-automatic windows.
And I walked home in the heat and my heels.
Singin’, “this’ll be the day that you die.
“this’ll be the day that you die.”

Oh, 2000 silver Honda Civic. With your busted locks and your stupid-ass windows that don’t open without a massive arm workout. I will not miss you, that’s the truth. I know your owner wants to get all sentimental all…oh, I had it before I had my babies. But, really, truth be told, I will not miss you. I will not miss my left foot falling asleep in stop-and-go traffic because I couldn’t rest my heel. I will not miss the slipping and sliding we did in the winter. I will not miss it.

I just wish you  hadn’t decided to EXPLODE several miles from home while I had Isabella in the car and it was 95 degrees outside and there were weather advisories not to go outside unless you absolutely had to. AND YET, there I was, because I ad no cell phone, I found myself carrying my kindergartner down the street in my jeans and my 2 1/2 inch heels. I always knew you hated me, Civic. You would taunt me with your strange noises and whistles. You didn’t even have a cd player, dammit. What kind of car only has a radio? I mean, honestly.

I would rather drive my MINIVAN than drive you. And I’d rather spend a day at the dentist than drive my minivan…so what does that tell you, hmmm Civic?

So, there are two lessons learned here.

Lesson #1: When your husband says, “hon, I just need you to drive my car even though it’s making really loud noises and when you downshift into first or second gear you are going to have some, erm, issues, but don’t worry, I’ll take it in to get looked at…just after you drive it, mmmkay?” YOU JUST SAY NO.

Lesson #2: Always keep some running shoes in the car, because he’s going to force you to drive it anyway.

  1. My congratulations.. er, condolences on the death of your car.



    Comment by Hamlet's Mistress on September 1, 2010
  2. I just shared your amazing lyrics with my coworkers, as we are all stuck on the MOST BORING CONFERENCE CALL EVER. It totally helped.

    And glad you ladies are ok. And with better driving situations in your future.


    Comment by Darcey on September 1, 2010
  3. Didn’t you just tweet about wanting this car to die or something? Or not having to drive it?

    Love the lyrics!

    My car is a 1999. It’s too old and I’ll be shopping for a new one come spring.


    Comment by Kristabella on September 1, 2010
  4. awesome song!
    manny drives a stick civic and i f-ing hate it too. at least he has automatic windows – but the locks are also messed up.
    what’s next? i highly recommend the mazda3. oh how i miss my mazda3. i loved every second with that car!


    Comment by adina on September 1, 2010
  5. A Civic that only lasted 10 years?!? What the hell did you do to that thing? They’re, like, indestructible!


    Comment by SciFi Dad on September 1, 2010
  6. I think you need to sing that song on video.


    Comment by Avitable on September 1, 2010
  7. Oh my gosh, I had that car too (mine was the no frill Civic! Its demise came when there were less than 100,000 miles on it, and it stunk to high heaven for 6 months (maybe more). Believe me, my husband (then boyfriend) searched the car, bombed it for stink, washed all seats…nothing worked. UNTIL, he took all the doors off and disassembled the doors and trunk. Somewhere where the sun don’t shine was what we identified as maybe an apple in its old life? Though, I can’t swear to the identity of the object. Husband with hope took said offensive smelling car to the detailer, and they said there was nothing ANYONE could do, unless we were willing to replace the doors and upolstry from Honda. With our budget then, no can do. So..goodbye manual windows and car that I never drove ANYONE in, because of the odor. May the first car I paid for (kind of) rest in smelly peace. My sense of smell will never have to go back there!


    Comment by Susan from PA on September 2, 2010
  8. OMG girl you are so lucky. My Ghetta Jetta is a ’92 317,000+ clicks and I am waiting for someone to crash into me-without any children in the car and without injuring myself. With a car that old you need to have an autoclub membership, like BCAA. I have the Gold Membership. Trust me I have had to use it quite a lot.
    I hate it when the Man says to me “But it’s PAID for!”.
    Die Jetta.
    .-= NaomiJesson´s last blog ..Cabin Cuisine =-.


    Comment by NaomiJesson on September 2, 2010
  9. This post is kind of awesome.


    Comment by anne nahm on September 2, 2010
  10. [...] replace my appliances with money that I don’t have. And about my husband wanting to replace his dead Civic with something that, once again, boasts a lovely little stick shift, while I firmly believe that I [...]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » My Happy. Why yes, it DOES include Ed Harris. on September 16, 2010

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