January 18 10

I’m not much of a drinker, but I am currently sitting at the edge of my bed watching this new show Life Unexpected that of course I am watching because Jack McFee is in it! I am still a teenager and I watch things like Degrassi: The New Generation and am totally pushing for a Holly J and Declan hookup and I watch things like the iSaved Your Life episode of iCarly and totally covet the dress Carly wears when Freddie says that he doesn’t want to be bacon and I guarantee you that if it’s on the CW, I am going to watch it because of the pretty and the music. But anyhoo, I have three slices of pizza in one hand and an ice cold beer in the other hand.

Sure, it’s not my preferred method of drinking beer, which is either after playing baseball

or while watching the Packers play

or while eating wings and watching the superbowl

but single mothers….sometimes we** drink. And sometimes we stuff our faces with pizza…because, you know, it’s 10pm, and all three of my children are still awake. Josh is reading some book and coming in every 11 minutes to tell me “just one last thing…it’s so funny!” and Emily is wandering back in and out of my room to tell me that she needs new socks and to get another peek at the show I am watching and she just NEEDS to tell me that she played ‘shit’ in her game of Words With Friends with Metalia and Isabella is in my bathroom, peeing for the 4th time since she has been put to bed.

Good times.

The thing is, though, there’s only so much I can do with three kids on a rainy and miserable three-day long weekend.

We mega monopolied, which, ps, is wicked fun.

We went to see suffered through Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel.

We went for donuts. twice. And, ps, I stopped counting at, gulp, 5…but, you guys, those chocolote-creme filled suckers and way too effing good.

We went out for Chinese to a way-too-fancy-for-my-rugrats restaurant where Isabella decided to stuff some white rice in the pockets of her jeans, in case she needed a fix later on.

Isabella got her markers taken away – again – for decorating her ENTIRE BODY with them. Damn you, Robert Munsch and your Purple, Green, and Yellow book for giving my child BAD IDEAS. We won’t get started on what kind of ideas he gave her with Makeup Mess, but I’ll just tell you that Isabella is never allowed to go near makeup of any kind every again and I am out $85 dollars replacing brushes and blushes.

Emily and I critiqued the entire Golden Globes together…we both were unimpressed with Drew Barrymore’s speech AND her dress. She didn’t get my “James Cameron looks like he may have signed The Declaration of Independence. I’m just saying” tweet. Maybe she’s just a little too Canadian.

I threw out 26 half-empty water bottles.

We went to Toys r Us in the pouring rain whereupon I used the word “NO” 921 times and said, “it’s okay…you can cry. I can take it.” at least 18 times. I am getting really good at sticking to my guns. The negative number in my bank account is helping me do that, of course. but, sticking to the guns, no less.

I cleaned up at least 4 presents that Indiana left for me inside the damn house.

I beaded too many necklaces and made too many friendship bracelets.

I gave Isabella 47 time-outs for screaming and speaking rudely to me. Clearly, that method of punishment is working well.

I heard more WHINE than any non-deaf person should ever have to listen to.

So, yes, sometimes single mothers drink. And this one is having her second third beer.

**and while technically I’m only a single parent for two weeks out of every month, they still allow me to be part of the club. I even got a jacket. heh.

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  1. I think you deserve Mommy of the Year! That sounds like it was quite a busy weekend…but very fun.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sunday Stilwell on January 19, 2010
  2. I worship at your feet! I’m a wreck with only two kids and a husband who’s around all 4 weeks of the month! And a cat that takes care of her own defecation!
    You amaze.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nenette on January 19, 2010
  3. Okay..I just need you to know that I am the mother of 2 girls (age 5 and almost 3) and my husband and uterus keeps telling me we should have another, but my logical head tells me to think twice (because I work full-time and have my own business). However, everytime I read your blog..you make me WANT TO!! ughh…. lol. Help a girl out ! :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jenni Beamer on January 19, 2010
  4. Man, I need to move to Atlanta.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on January 19, 2010
  5. “I love Jesus but I drink a little” is the quote on my FB page. Hee.

    And yes, you totally count. I honestly don’t know how you survive those two weeks. You know, apart from beer.
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..Marriage vs. Common-Law =-.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angella on January 19, 2010
  6. Mmmmm…..beer.

    But I avoid it during the “Daddy Days” when mom is out whooping it up in Boston and New York.

    I guess I do good with it though because the kids always ask when we’ll have more days. I prefer a 2-person team though.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Hockeymandad on January 19, 2010
  7. It hurts to look at that Favre jersey. I just…he’s wearing purple now and I am most certainly Not Over It, due to my pathological hatred of the Vikings that goes waaaay beyond sports rivalry and into “This Is PERSONAL” territory and oh. Favre. I wish you hadn’t ended your time with the Packers like that.
    .-= Anne´s last blog ..This Is Why We Have Unlimited Texting =-.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Anne on January 19, 2010
  8. Dude. We need a girls’ night. With some of those yummy-looking giant margarita/Corona combinations!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Darcey on January 19, 2010
  9. There is so much in this post to comment on but I’m sticking to one point. I want to start a game of WWF with Emily, make that happen.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on January 19, 2010
  10. I’m totally intrigued by the margarita concoction.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rhi on January 19, 2010
  11. So I am a lurker. I admit.

    But good grief. I’m home alone with FIVE kids for 14 hours at a clip on some days…

    If being in the single-moms club is my ticket for adult beverage intake—please send me the application. Like ASAP. Like yesterday. Like five years ago. Cheers.
    Now I am going to go iron my straing jacket :)
    .-= TripletsPlusTwoMomma´s last blog ..The Enthusiast. =-.

    [Reply]

    Comment by TripletsPlusTwoMomma on January 19, 2010
  12. Um, yeah, you need a beer. Josh is away for work ONE SATURDAY every other week, and I go BATTY, and I only have TWO kids. So, big kudos and BEER for you!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Haley-O (Cheaty) on January 20, 2010
  13. Your not fatness angers me. IT IS JUST NOT FAIR!

    [Reply]

    Comment by slynnro on January 20, 2010
  14. This was so cute.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Maria on January 20, 2010
  15. You live in like a grown up frat house and that is so many kinds of awesome.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mocha on January 24, 2010
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