I’m not much of a drinker, but I am currently sitting at the edge of my bed watching this new show Life Unexpected that of course I am watching because Jack McFee is in it! I am still a teenager and I watch things like Degrassi: The New Generation and am totally pushing for a Holly J and Declan hookup and I watch things like the iSaved Your Life episode of iCarly and totally covet the dress Carly wears when Freddie says that he doesn’t want to be bacon and I guarantee you that if it’s on the CW, I am going to watch it because of the pretty and the music. But anyhoo, I have three slices of pizza in one hand and an ice cold beer in the other hand.
Sure, it’s not my preferred method of drinking beer, which is either after playing baseball
or while watching the Packers play
or while eating wings and watching the superbowl
but single mothers….sometimes we** drink. And sometimes we stuff our faces with pizza…because, you know, it’s 10pm, and all three of my children are still awake. Josh is reading some book and coming in every 11 minutes to tell me “just one last thing…it’s so funny!” and Emily is wandering back in and out of my room to tell me that she needs new socks and to get another peek at the show I am watching and she just NEEDS to tell me that she played ‘shit’ in her game of Words With Friends with Metalia and Isabella is in my bathroom, peeing for the 4th time since she has been put to bed.
The thing is, though, there’s only so much I can do with three kids on a rainy and miserable three-day long weekend.
We mega monopolied, which, ps, is wicked fun.
We went to see suffered through Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel.
We went for donuts. twice. And, ps, I stopped counting at, gulp, 5…but, you guys, those chocolote-creme filled suckers and way too effing good.
We went out for Chinese to a way-too-fancy-for-my-rugrats restaurant where Isabella decided to stuff some white rice in the pockets of her jeans, in case she needed a fix later on.
Isabella got her markers taken away – again – for decorating her ENTIRE BODY with them. Damn you, Robert Munsch and your Purple, Green, and Yellow book for giving my child BAD IDEAS. We won’t get started on what kind of ideas he gave her with Makeup Mess, but I’ll just tell you that Isabella is never allowed to go near makeup of any kind every again and I am out $85 dollars replacing brushes and blushes.
Emily and I critiqued the entire Golden Globes together…we both were unimpressed with Drew Barrymore’s speech AND her dress. She didn’t get my “James Cameron looks like he may have signed The Declaration of Independence. I’m just saying” tweet. Maybe she’s just a little too Canadian.
I threw out 26 half-empty water bottles.
We went to Toys r Us in the pouring rain whereupon I used the word “NO” 921 times and said, “it’s okay…you can cry. I can take it.” at least 18 times. I am getting really good at sticking to my guns. The negative number in my bank account is helping me do that, of course. but, sticking to the guns, no less.
I cleaned up at least 4 presents that Indiana left for me inside the damn house.
I beaded too many necklaces and made too many friendship bracelets.
I gave Isabella 47 time-outs for screaming and speaking rudely to me. Clearly, that method of punishment is working well.
I heard more WHINE than any non-deaf person should ever have to listen to.
So, yes, sometimes single mothers drink. And this one is having her second third beer.
**and while technically I’m only a single parent for two weeks out of every month, they still allow me to be part of the club. I even got a jacket. heh.