September 21 09

of course all of Atlanta is flooded and we can’t get out until tomorrow morning. on a 5:50am flight. which means that I will be waking my NOT MORNING PEOPLE children up at 3:30 in the morning.

of course we are rushing back to the city but schools are all canceled tomorrow.

of course the first comments out of my mother’s mouth were about the length of my children’s hair (they are never the right length for her)….

violins

(I ask again…WTF?)

of course I am still sticky from all the honey my children consumed this holiday. yes, there’s even a song about dipping apples into honey and dripping it all over your dress and tights and face and hands and hair…or something.

apples

and don’t even bother asking me when the last time I took a shower was because, honestly, I can’t even remember. which probably means it’s been too long.

of course my stepdad got some horrific case of the stomach flu and has been barfing for 2 days which obviously means only one thing…the barfs will be hitting the Martells soon, probably sometime during our 5:50am flight. Oh, Murphy, why must you mock me so?

of course I ate too much this weekend and am suffering from a rather curious case of bloateous (it IS so a word…) maximus. but, you know, it still doesn’t stop me from shoving three more bakery cookies into my gob. mmm…sprinkles…

of course I missed the last ten minutes of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs because Josh hadtopeerightthatverysecond. It’s okay, though, because he assured me that everyone dies in the end. Seriously, I would give my eye teeth to go somewhere, anywhere without having to visit the nearest bathroom, which, you know, is never located in a convenient location. and it’s always when I’m in line paying at Barnes and Noble or something. which, ps, I recently visited and bought myself a copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and seriously, I cannot put it down. which is a little bit funny, because I’m the kind of girl who is always reading more than one book and so, while I’m reading about zombies (see, Becca, I told you that Zombies are the new Vampires), I am also reading the book Sarah’s Key, which is, erm, just about the polar opposite kind of book.

of course my parents’ synagogue didn’t have any sort of children’s programming so when I went downstairs to collect my children to hear the shofar, I discovered the two younger ones helping themselves to tea, complete with an unattended hot water urn, tea bags, splenda, sugar AND honey. awesome. also? hooray for shul’s with health hazards! Seriously, I don’t even know why I even bother trying to enter the sanctuary…I believe it’s been almost a decade since I have been able to successfully step inside.

of course it isn’t ALL bad right now. I mean…you know, this lady drove all the way from Chicago to have a Rosh Hashanah meal with me and my family and our friends and play spit with Emily and do melty beads with Isabella and taste my mom’s award-winning grilled cheese. (seriously…it’s that good) Also, she brought me an actual coffee as a gift and it was one of the best gifts ever because my mom’s religious and in her house on holidays you have to drink INSTANT COFFEE, which kind of makes me want to die a little bit. or at least not drink any and live with the headache.

lies. all lies, I tell you. Instant coffee should be banned.

instant-coffee-300x380

and I did introduce my mom to Mad Men and totally got her hooked. and I DID squeeze my body into an old suit that was a size 0. and my kids looked ridiculously cute in their knee socks.

and, you know, there are bakery cookies….

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  1. I’m definitely coming to Atlanta in January as Kristabella sees you WAY TOO MUCH.

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    Comment by slynnro on September 21, 2009
  2. Shana tova v’chatima tovA!

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    Comment by NaomiJesson on September 21, 2009
  3. You wear a size 0? Me too! Squee!

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    Comment by Avitable on September 22, 2009
  4. I had a really snarky, really clever comment to leave, but then you killed it (and me) by saying you fit into a size 0.

    You suck.

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    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on September 22, 2009
  5. to sum up…

    3:30am should not exist.

    Zombies with pride and prejudice? what??

    Size 0. well. I am determined not to be one of those people who is jealous of TEENY TINY LITTLE PUNY PEOPLE. Hmm, on second thought… I’ll be one of those people tomorrow. BAH HUMBUG TO YOU!

    … teehee. :D

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    Comment by Katie on September 22, 2009
  6. Happy New Year, Ali Martell! I hope that you somehow escape the puke-tastic flu.

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    Comment by Jen on September 22, 2009
  7. Happy New Year, my dear! I…
    - hope you all don’t get the stomach flu.
    - think any flights before 9am shouldn’t exist.
    - wish I were size 0.
    - agree with you re: instant coffee.
    - want Jon Hamm.
    - love honey.
    - would suggest shaving Josh’s head, but your mom would probably just think his hair’s too short.

    Safe trip, my dear! xo

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    Comment by Nenette on September 22, 2009
  8. Did you see Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters is out now, too? Oh, yes, I shall be reading it and then tucking it next to my copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Then I’ll be reading Mr. Darcy, Vampyre.

    I just got on the Mad Man thing. I am now obsessed.
    .-= fadkog´s last blog ..i got no car and it’s breaking my heart =-.

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    Comment by fadkog on September 22, 2009
  9. Near the end of Bridge to Terabithia my daughter had to go to the bathroom. We left during the scene where the boy was visiting the museum with his teacher. When we came back everyone was crying (spoiler alert). I asked the person next to me what had happened and she told me the girl had died.

    While we were in the bathroom. She died.

    We go potty before movies now.

    Happy New Year to you.

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    Comment by feefifoto on September 22, 2009
  10. I’m so glad I got out before all the barfing!

    Ali’s mom’s house is a haven for bakery cookies! So yummy!

    Have a safe flight and I’ll see you in TWO DAYS!

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    Comment by Kristabella on September 22, 2009
  11. That whole bathroom during the movies sucks. Sucks I tell ya.
    So st*rbux has an instant that is not bad, really. Expensive but not bad. Maybe put a couple packets in your traveling makeup case for next time.
    Hope you brought your rain boots.
    .-= monstergirlee´s last blog ..september greeblepix entry =-.

    [Reply]

    Comment by monstergirlee on September 22, 2009
  12. i have had to actually miss major parts of movies because of some little person fussing too much…so don’t take them to movies just buy on dvd now…happy new years to you…hope you don’t get sick

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on September 22, 2009
  13. That so sucks you’ve been trying to travel with the crappy weather around here. But I promise, had you got back to ATL last night, you wouldn’t have been able to GET home, what with 4 MAJOR sections of ATL interstate closed. Seriously, all 3 routes from the airport had closings between the airport and your parents’ place.

    And I can’t wait to hang with you and Kristabella this week!

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    Comment by Darcey on September 22, 2009
  14. Let me know how Sarah’s key is! It’s on my list, but I’m unsure if I should read it.

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    Comment by Kaleigha on September 22, 2009
  15. You were right– but I didn’t doubt you. :-D Heh. I knew you’d never lead me astray on something as serious as zombie popularity.

    Hope you’re landing safe right now. I’ve been checking your Twitter for new updates (PS: 1000+ followers! NICE). Did you see the latest Mad Men on Sunday? JUST WHEN HE GOT IT IN THE DOOR.

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    Comment by becca on September 22, 2009
  16. Sorry, can’t comment, I’m laughing out loud at Avitable’s comment.

    Okay, done, ish. Was going to say that your mom would love my son’s hairdresser…. ;)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Haley-O (Cheaty) on September 22, 2009
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