February 11 09

it’s no secret that i totally girl-crush all over Kristin from Camels and Chocolate. i couldn’t even tell you how we found each other…Working Closet, maybe? She and i share a love of good grammar and How I Met Your Mother and everything pumpkin flavored. and we even got to meet in person this Christmas in Atlanta. she’s awesome.

kris

she’s me, only better! i interview people like Christopher Bolton which, HELLO, totally awesome for me, but she interviews people like, um, well, Sean Pennm which, HELLO, SEANPENNOHMIGOD. So, when she offered to interview ME, how could i possibly say no?!??

Kristin: We all know you’re a publishing superstar, but do we know how you got started in the industry?

Ali: this, sadly, is NOT a very exciting story. I am a writer. I have always been a writer. I have about 17 notebooks filled with half-finished stories and poems and short stories and ideas sitting in a huge cardboard box in my mother’s house (and i will be at her house the last weekend in March. and you *know* i will be bringing back some samples to mock myself with show you). I always knew i would do something writing related. Because my high school guidance counselor was completely and totally useless (“be a teacher! that’s what Jewish women become! or maybe an occupational therapist! or maybe you’ll just be a stay-at-home-mom”) Uninspired, i looked to my 10th grade English teacher-turned-12th grade yearbook adviser (YES, i was the editor of my high-school yearbook and YES, i DID go to fucking yearbook camp. don’t judge!) and she told me, point blank, “you, my dear, are going to be an editor” and she was right.

Kristin: When you write your memoir, what will it be called?

Ali: “They aren’t balls, they are poisonous beans…and other things short people have told me”

the short people in my life? they are fucking cool…

shortp

Kristin: What job would your readers be shocked to know you held at one point (or um, can you actually shock your readers anymore?)?

Ali: While i was still earning my degrees in higher education, in the summer of 1998, just a month after we got married, i worked for a company called Ketubah Ketubah. I worked out of a tiny apartment in midtown Toronto (is NYC the only city where they call it ‘midtown’?). I sold ketubahs – basically, erm, Jewish prenups – to engaged couples.

Kristin: You’re at a dinner party with Tina Fey, Ed Harris, Oprah, Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen Degeneres, Sean Penn, Matthew Fox and Josh Duhamel. You only have time to chat with four of them. Who do you snub, who do you befriend, who intimidates you too much to approach, who do you smuggle out the back door for one night of passion when hubby’s not looking?

Ali: hrm…this is, obviously, a tough one. damn you, Kristin, these questions are supposed to be easy! i would probably chat with: Sean Penn (even though Kristin has told me how much of a dick he is) (as the lovely Metalia told me, “the heart wants what the heart wants”)

sean-penn

Tina Fey, Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen Degeneres.

too intimidating? Oprah and Ed Harris. they both scare me justalittlebit.

getting snubbed? Matthew Fox. because, seriously, who isn’t over Jack on LOST? actually, with the exception of Hurley, who isn’t over THE ENTIRE OCEANIC 6? and not just because Sun-With-A-Vengeance gives me nightmares….

sun

(officially scarier than Ben Linus AND the little creepy kid from The Shining…even when he’s screaming REDRUM! REDRUM! REDRUM!)

(also…just to clarify…i LIVE for LOST. i usually watch it twice on Wednesday nights because ali=loser and then i force my friends to talk about it all week…i’m just ready for the Oceanic 6 to be back on the island already)

ps. i don’t think i need to tell you that Josh Duhamel is getting the smuggling. heh.

Kristin: Is it tough having a daughter 23 years your junior who’s just so much cooler than you? Is she finally going to drive you to therapy?

Ali: yes. and yes. she still tolerates me right now…because she’s only 8 and i let her have things like SLEEPOVER BIRTHDAY PARTIES WITH 12 OF HER CLOSEST FRIENDS. gah. hold me. and i take her on mom-and-Emily adventures. and i still pay the bills around here…

AND i still have things to hold over her head…like this:

emilyfruit

Kristin: If you were a character on How I Met Your Mother, which one would you be (and Robin is so the cliche answer here, just so you know!)?

Ali: aha, you’d think i’d pick Robin because of the whole Canadian thing, eh? (like how i threw in that sneaky little ‘eh’ ?!??) but the truth is…i’m totally 100% TED MOSBY. he’s judge-y and correct-y. He talks about how long he’s been vomit-free. he thinks ‘hanging chad’ costumes are funny.

ted

PS:

If you would like to participate in the ME interview, here are the rules.

1. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment that says “Interview me”.

2. I will respond by emailing you 5 questions (I get to choose the questions).

3. Update your blog with the answers to the questions and let me know when you have posted it.

4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When other comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


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  1. HA! It’s ok, I went to Yearbook Camp too. Where would you plan all the layouts and theme stuff.

    I think I would want to be Marshall just so I could “lawyer” people.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Andrea on February 11, 2009
  2. Heh. Yearbook camp. SUCH a good one to make fun of yourself with. it’ll never get old….

    Great interview!!! Love the editor story!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Haley-O on February 11, 2009
  3. I love the name of your memoir…it’s perfect!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Tova on February 11, 2009
  4. Hmm, I’ll play. Interview Me!

    Also? poisonous beans? Your kid is hilarious.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lyndsey on February 11, 2009
  5. My heart is all aflutter with the HIMYM love. I thought I was the only one who loved Ted because he still thought the hanging chad costume was funny.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nic on February 11, 2009
  6. I got really excited when you were talking about your girl crush on Kristin. I’m all “THAT’S ME!” And then I realized it was someone else. And then I was sad.

    I am not over Lost yet. Only because I want answers, dammit!

    Kristabellas last blog post..Maybe Now I Can Talk About Other Things

    no no no.
    i LOVE LOST.
    i am just annoyed by the oceanic six. i just want them to get back on the island already! ~~ Ali

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on February 11, 2009
  7. Do I even need to tell you that I, too, rocked the yearbook camps?

    I would be Lily, but minus the really cool clothes on a measly salary at a job I rarely go to. I mean, I already have one of those, but I do not have a cool wardrobe to show for it. Just pure snark!

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..‘and when I fall asleep, i don’t think i’ll survive the night (the night)’

    [Reply]

    Comment by differentkindofgirl on February 11, 2009
  8. KETUBAH KETUBAH! omfg, that is going to keep me laughing for days.

    And yes, there is a midtown – say, St. Clair to Laurence. After that, your uptown, baby.

    kgirls last blog post..Spelling Bee

    [Reply]

    Comment by kgirl on February 11, 2009
  9. *hugs Toronto*

    Mostly because I’ve only been there BEFORE you were required to have a passport (I mean really, won’t it be EASIER to get through now?) and it rained and I love the rain… I think there can be a midtown in just about ANY big city.

    So… you COULD interview me but then you wouldn’t get to see my entry with the answers. ‘Cause I’ve got LJ.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Maryann on February 11, 2009
  10. Interview me, fo’ sho!

    [Reply]

    Comment by The Other Dawn on February 11, 2009
  11. Hahahaha, your memoir title SLAYS me–love it, love it! And your secret job? So many types of awesome.

    And thank you for the sweet words, as always =)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on February 11, 2009
  12. I so assumed this post was about me from the title.

    slynnros last blog post..Now This? This IS Grace In A Small Thing.

    [Reply]

    Comment by slynnro on February 11, 2009
  13. Fun Idea. Interview Me, please – damn Canadaian niceness.

    Ted is the man on that show.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kalle on February 11, 2009
  14. I was also the editor of my high school yearbook. And went in on SATURDAYS.

    Also. Josh Duhamel. Mmmmm…

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angella on February 11, 2009
  15. Interview me!
    LOVE HIMYM! I am totally Marshall~ But I am a wanna be Barney

    [Reply]

    Comment by LibraryGirl on February 11, 2009
  16. interview me.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy on February 11, 2009
  17. Thank you for being a Lost nerd. I watch every episode twice, too, even when they suck… like last week’s episode. Get on with the story already! Am I right? Eh? Eh?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Britt on February 11, 2009
  18. Interview me!

    Though I may not lead such an interesting life.

    Mayas last blog post..House of Cards

    [Reply]

    Comment by Maya on February 11, 2009
  19. I would love it if you interviewed me, although I may be a bit boring. Some advance warning for you there. Hate to say it, but I was kind of over Lost after the second season. It got a little to weird/scarey for me. How I Met Your Mother though, LOVE!

    Diannas last blog post..Just Around the Corner

    [Reply]

    Comment by Dianna on February 11, 2009
  20. Awwwww… you met Kristin? Great pic.

    Your memoir title ROCKS. Seriously, you need to copy right it.

    [Reply]

    Comment by OHmommy on February 11, 2009
  21. I understand the terror of Sun since wifey looks like her, except that she’s not Korean. And wifey is terrifying.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Captain Dumbass on February 11, 2009
  22. Memoir title = pure genius.
    mmmm Josh.
    Feel free to interview me, I am in a blogging rut with all the potty training going on here…

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sleepynita on February 11, 2009
  23. Interview me! Interview me! Interview me!
    Please – please – please! :)

    Ketubah Ketubah — just when Ali couldn’t get more… um… interesting :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nenette on February 11, 2009
  24. that was interesting interview Ali….

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on February 11, 2009
  25. I’m curious as to what type of editing you do and who you do it for ’cause I’d love to be an editor. I still have a lot of learning to do and classes to attend, but ultimately that’s what I’d like to wind up doing. Advice!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Courtney on February 11, 2009
  26. I worked at Ketubah Ketubah too. Sucked. I couldn’t proof-read those damn things fast enough for them and I quit about forty seconds before they were going to fire me.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Tali on February 11, 2009
  27. I feel so left out, I really need to Netflix HIMYM.

    [Reply]

    Comment by regan on February 12, 2009
  28. Sean Penn, huh? I guess you go for those bad boy types.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Stacy Quarty on February 12, 2009
  29. Interview me alimartell!

    Also, when I read “Ketubah Ketubah” I can’t hear it in my head without singing it to the same melody as “Shakira Shakira” from “Hips Don’t Lie.”

    [Reply]

    Comment by heather... on February 12, 2009
  30. Interview me, because you’re burning to know which of my elementary school girlfriends I still pine for (I’m leaving that modifier dangling, just to poke you), and because I have no energy to think of things to write about on my own more than every other week.

    I’m ashamed of my lack of commitment to blogging. But solid in my commitment to Sparkle Motion (what? Donnie Darko was awesome).

    [Reply]

    Comment by Pants Wearer on February 13, 2009
  31. Entertaining blog – Interview me!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kelly on February 16, 2009
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