July 21 08

i’m going to start with a confession:

i did not drink at BlogHer08.

i swear. not one. and NO i’m not pregnant. you see, i like to drink. and so, i drink. and i drink often. and when i drink i tend to get, um, wordy. i tend to overshare. and then i say things like

it’s less dark in here

when asked how i liked Maggie Mason’s launch party.


so, i didn’t drink. i wanted to avoid acting like a total asshole. or a total nutjob. and i wanted to soak it all in. and i wanted to get every single minute out of it that i could. and i wanted to NOT feel like ass in the mornings.

i can’t even put into words how amazing my whirlwind weekend was.

~ eating my first, and only, real meal in SF with my roommates (love! love!) and Whoorl at Neiman Marcus.

~ Having the AMAZING Susan Wagner (who may just be the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen in real life) tie my shirt for me because i can’t dress myself.

~coffee with the Spohrslove. (except now i will be filling my entire day downloading Ron Sexsmith…how have i never heard of him?)

~ getting kicked off the hallway floor at the Westin St. Francis. before i got to finish my red velvet cupcake too. boo. but i did finally get to meet and talk to the lovely LeahandSimon and Holly.

~ Loralee singing to me and Miss Angella, my internet crazy canuck twin (i cried it was so beautiful).

~ crying when the wonderfully amazing and good-haired (*jealous*) Casey of Moosh in Indy read her keynote post. also? she does a mean “Thriller”

~ not getting to have brunch with Moose because ohmigod do i LOVE her.

~ getting an “i love Regina” (hahaha giggly goo) t-shirt from Schmutzie…who i love love love. she’s so wonderful.

~ cheeseburger parties.

~ Being told by two bloggers that they’d decided i was cute.

~ Anthropologie!

~ watching Heather B drink wine out of a starbucks cup.

~ crashing Maggie Mason’s party and stealing her cheetos. but really it was only because the chair-stealing idea went bust. (love you, Jennster!)

~ coming up with new taglines for our sites…um: Ali Martell: Short on Height, not on brains or Kristabella: A different shade of pale. awesome, eh? (and for the last time, Heather B, Canadians do NOT say a-BOOT)

you can continue laughing about my non-drinking (since i know you still are…)

but i wasn’t the one who said things like…

“um, do you ever get words stuck in your head…like, um, episiotomy? sometimes i just can’t get that word out of my head!”

(what? sure, i get things stuck in my head. things like stupid commercial jingles. and i always hear Jon Lovitz saying ‘Eat Fresh!’ all. the. damn. time. but i wouldn’t walk around advertising that to a complete stranger. just, um, out of the blue. and i certainly wouldn’t if the word was stitches on the vag related…just saying.)


“have you ever been inside of a meat locker??”

(have i ever been inside of a meat locker? that’s quite an interesting conversation starter…don’t you think? why yes, i WAS in one…the last time i was in that Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie…)


“i hear Dooce is in the house and i’m glad she’s not in here because if she was i’d be all ‘ohmigod! ohmigod! ohmigod! i LOOOOOOOOOOVE you”

(and then Dooce stands up and waves to everyone in the session)


something about mythical hobbits…

(huzzah! i had to throw that in there somewhere. but since i shy away from drama, you’ll have to go elsewhere to get the Bloggess/Dooce dirt. because i *heart* them both, yo!)

the trip was great. and you can, of course, see the whole photoset on flickr, here. i’m exhausted. am running on nothing but coffee and candy bars…sorry, Casey, Stara and i had to steal some of your wunderbars.

i am so glad i finally got to meet so many people that i love. (am not even going to attempt the linky love. there are way too many) and i’m sad that there are people who were there that i didn’t even get a chance to meet…like her and her.

but BlogHer was a big old fat tease. she throws all these amazing women into a room and says, “here’s a 48-hour gift”…it’s like when i was a kid and i used to watch this show and the prize was, like, 2 minutes in a store and you could fill your cart with whatever you wanted in those 2 minutes. no? i’m the only one who ever saw this? really?

there’s always next year.

(sadly, there was NO Cheesecake Factory. no time. boo. hiss. am crying)


i need a drink.

(where are my damn drink tickets now?)

  1. Man…that just looks like a blast! Maybe next year I’ll get to hang out with the cool kids:)


    Comment by Nap Warden on July 21, 2008
  2. Okay, I’m starting saving NOW for next year – and you’re so going to be my roommate so you can get through it all now that you’re not a BlogHer virgin!


    Comment by sam on July 21, 2008
  3. Excuse me, I’m beginning to feel twinges of envyitis. I must go dry hump my brand new MacBook now.

    Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..We Interrupt My Dry-Humping For a Post NOT About BlogHer


    Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on July 21, 2008
  4. This was a better recap than I could have given. It was SO GREAT to hang out with you!

    And we will jointly convince HB that we do not say aboot.



    Comment by Angella on July 21, 2008
  5. You know, I had a grand total of three drinks. And it didn’t hamper my fun for a minute.



    Comment by slynnro on July 21, 2008
  6. As if you even need to ask me, of course I know EXACTLY what show you’re talking about! Supermarket Sweep!

    OMG, this post was awesome! I can’t believe it is all over! Stara and I have to come to Toronto to see these mythical children.


    Comment by Kristabella on July 21, 2008
  7. Is BlogCamp really over? And did Casey REALLY steal all my wunderbars? And did I already eat ALL the candy you gave me?


    Comment by heather on July 21, 2008
  8. I barely drank either. Only because I cannot hold liquor to save my life.

    It was lovely to meet you. :)


    Comment by Kristie on July 21, 2008
  9. That’s what I did wrong last year! I drank too much and totally made an ass of myself. I’m glad you didn’t and you had a great time!


    Comment by gorillabuns on July 21, 2008
  10. sounds like lots of fun!


    Comment by LAVENDULA on July 21, 2008
  11. No cheesecake factory? I’m sorry ?
    Also, when I see the pic of you and Susan Wagner, all I am thinking is which type of Herbal Essences did she use to get her hair so shiny and bouncy and beautiful? I’m just sayin…


    Comment by Sarah on July 21, 2008
  12. I kind of think that I would pass on the drinking, too, because I’d like to not feel crippling shame later on. Which I would because DRINKING IS FUN.
    (and that looks like SO much fun – LUCKY!)


    Comment by Rebecca on July 21, 2008
  13. dude, and the cheesecake factory was RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM US. weird. it’s not that good though in all honesty, you know? i think i had one drink all weekend, but that’s typical for me since i don’t really drink. i never even thought about you drinking or not- i guess i did just think about it when someone was OBVIOUSLY drunk and saying the same sentence to me over and over again. LOL
    i LOVED meeting you and hanging out with you and loving on you! why? cause you’re awesome and fun and totally hot! you had AWESOME roomies, whom i’m sure if you didn’t room wtih them, then i wouldn’t have met them so THANKS for introducing me to 2 really awesome chicks. i’m off to stalk your flickr now. word. love. kisses. xoxoox


    Comment by jennster on July 21, 2008
  14. Enjoy your at-home cocktail. Looks like you had a blast!

    mama bird diariess last blog post..blogher is blogover


    Comment by mama bird diaries on July 21, 2008
  15. You said it. Two days hardly seems like enough time, but I’m afraid that after more than three or four we’d start a raw-food lesbian tech commune.

    schmutzies last blog post..50×365 #303: Marina


    Comment by schmutzie on July 21, 2008
  16. sounds like you all had fun…

    when I see that Jon Lovitz commercial – I hear “Eat Flesh!” not “Eat Fresh!” when he uses his thespian accent thing.

    oh- if you had had a drink (or several) those of us who did not attend would only feel partially left out, instead of totally left out. The drinking would have been something we (I) would have in common with you.


    Comment by swirl girl on July 21, 2008

    I didn’t drink, either. I tend to say things like “If you were a Hobbit I would totally sleep with you right now” after inhaling alcoholic fumes.

    It really was the best for everyone involved.

    I’m so glad you weren’t disappointed by my voice. (I was afraid I had built it up a weeeee bit.) Only you and Angella and Heather got “The Loralee Concert”.

    I like to create scarcity. It drives my marketability. Hee.

    P.S. You are so damn pretty. Just so you know.

    Loralees last blog post..Sidblog: Waiting at the airport for hours does have its downside


    Comment by Loralee on July 21, 2008
  18. you got to meet my spohrs? How awesome! Hopefully blogher will come to nyc next yr (so i hear) then the partying will truly begin!

    Mayas last blog post..


    Comment by Maya on July 21, 2008
  19. I love that I walked up to Heather B. with her Starbucks Cup O’ Wine and was all, “Hey, your coffee! It smells like wine!” Um, yeah. I am awesome.

    (So great! to meet you. More time; I needed MORE time.)

    Kerri Annes last blog post..Weekend Update, Pre-Vacation Edition


    Comment by Kerri Anne on July 21, 2008
  20. Sounds like a BLAST! It was REEEEEALLY quiet over here while you were ALL at blogcamp!!! ;) MISS!

    Haley-Os last blog post..Shhhhhh!


    Comment by Haley-O on July 21, 2008
  21. it was so lovely meeting you, ali. :) and if i’d known you wanted cheesecake factory, i would’ve dragged you with me and kelly (mocha momma) and mel (aum mom) when we went to dinner post-macy’s! :-P

    Laras last blog post..Who I Am


    Comment by Lara on July 21, 2008
  22. I went to Cheesecake Factory! But it was down here (San Jose/Santa Clara) and not up in SF! Anyway, that all sounds like LOTS of fun… but not more fun than I had, as I saw my nephew for the VERY FIRST TIME IN PERSON.


    Comment by Mari on July 21, 2008
  23. Sounds awesome.

    Will you email me about hobbitses? I loves me hobbitses.

    SciFi Dads last blog post..The Token Dad Blogger


    Comment by SciFi Dad on July 21, 2008
  24. It was nice meeting you (I’m Amy’s roommate)! I can’t believe you stayed sober…my liver gets a good workout during BlogHer.

    There was a Cheesecake Factory in Macy’s, you know. I had lunch there one of the days.

    Kylas last blog post..Once, she was unknowable.


    Comment by Kyla on July 21, 2008
  25. I have already announced to my lovely wife that I am going to Blogher next year. I promised her I’d hang out with my cousin (Maggie Mason) who would keep me out of trouble. But then, maybe not since I didn’t realize I’d have to protect her Cheetoh’s.


    Comment by Matthew on July 21, 2008
  26. Loving you back. That is all. :)

    Mr Ladys last blog post..Yeah, I Asked My Kids to Guest Post.


    Comment by Mr Lady on July 21, 2008
  27. Oh, and you were there too!!!

    Glad you had a great time!
    Anthropologie… when IS THAT coming to Canada?

    Karen MEGs last blog post..My So-Called Second Life


    Comment by Karen MEG on July 21, 2008
  28. OMG—you said the episiotomy thing without the help of booze? I love you. And also? You canucks do too say a-BOOT! There must be proof somewhere…

    The Over-Thinkers last blog post..And then I became Canadian….and it didn’t even involve alcohol!


    Comment by The Over-Thinker on July 21, 2008
  29. it was so nice to meet you. You know, now that it was decided that you arecute and all;-)

    chriss last blog post..Home


    Comment by chris on July 21, 2008
  30. I admire you for not drinking since lord knows I’ve found myself in situations where it would have been better I didn’t. But you sound like you had an amazing time. And? I LOVE THAT SHIRT! (I typed shit, and almost left it, but decided against it.) :)

    marys last blog post..Too high strung for text messaging


    Comment by mary on July 21, 2008
  31. Ali Martell: Pocket Sized and Delicious.

    moosh in indy.s last blog post..We haz herry winner!


    Comment by moosh in indy. on July 21, 2008
  32. so happy to have met you, you beautiful, precious woman, you.

    Ys last blog post..Oh San Francisco, You so Crazy.


    Comment by Y on July 21, 2008
  33. You can’t complain too much about what you missed because SOME of us missed the WHOLE THING! It is better to have loved for 2 minutes, than never to have loved at all…or something like that. :) Thanks for sharing the pictures!

    Margarets last blog post..Bugs: They’re Not Just For Breakfast Anymore


    Comment by Margaret on July 21, 2008
  34. You rocked blogher pretty lady. So glad to have seen you again.

    Redneck Mommys last blog post..Sunshine and Sandy Beaches Await Me


    Comment by Redneck Mommy on July 21, 2008
  35. WHAT is that FACE I am making I guess I was just REALLY? EXCITED about your sweater. Or I was getting ready to eat you whole. Whatever.

    So nice to meet you — you are stunning. Hope to see you next year!

    Susans last blog post..I ask for so little


    Comment by Susan on July 22, 2008
  36. I figure if I read enough of these recaps I’ll forget that I didn’t go.

    You look like you had one heck of a time.

    LaskiGals last blog post..They never called . . .


    Comment by LaskiGal on July 22, 2008
  37. A great Blogher Recap.


    Comment by william on July 23, 2008
  38. [...] karma. could also be titled code 9 karma. ali leaves for a few days to go to some conference, and she is punished with a code 9 emergency. Isabella wakes up, complains about the bugs flying [...]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » think karma can be bribed with cheeseburgers? on July 23, 2008
  39. It sounds like you had a really great time in San Fran!

    Multi-Tasking Mommys last blog post..Widening Wednesday Week 30


    Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on July 30, 2008
  40. Fun recap there :)

    I did drink… I hope I wasn’t slurring my words when I met you – heeehee. I’m a lightweight, so it doesn’t take much…

    It was fun to meet you – however brief, but I didn’t want to freak you out :)


    Comment by jennyonthespot on August 1, 2008
  41. [...] yes, Virginia, that IS the souvenir i brought home from blogher!! see?? it got put to good use. because have you ever tried to buy a black tshirt for a three year [...]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » because i’m the mom and i said so. on September 12, 2008

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