i’m going to start with a confession:

i did not drink at BlogHer08.

i swear. not one. and NO i’m not pregnant. you see, i like to drink. and so, i drink. and i drink often. and when i drink i tend to get, um, wordy. i tend to overshare. and then i say things like

“it’s less dark in here”

when asked how i liked Maggie Mason’s launch party.

SMOOTH.

so, i didn’t drink. i wanted to avoid acting like a total asshole. or a total nutjob. and i wanted to soak it all in. and i wanted to get every single minute out of it that i could. and i wanted to NOT feel like ass in the mornings.

i can’t even put into words how amazing my whirlwind weekend was.

~ eating my first, and only, real meal in SF with my roommates (love! love!) and Whoorl at Neiman Marcus.

~ Having the AMAZING Susan Wagner (who may just be the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen in real life) tie my shirt for me because i can’t dress myself.

~coffee with the Spohrs…love. (except now i will be filling my entire day downloading Ron Sexsmith…how have i never heard of him?)

~ getting kicked off the hallway floor at the Westin St. Francis. before i got to finish my red velvet cupcake too. boo. but i did finally get to meet and talk to the lovely LeahandSimon and Holly.

~ Loralee singing to me and Miss Angella, my internet crazy canuck twin (i cried it was so beautiful).

~ crying when the wonderfully amazing and good-haired (*jealous*) Casey of Moosh in Indy read her keynote post. also? she does a mean “Thriller”

~ not getting to have brunch with Moose because ohmigod do i LOVE her.

~ getting an “i love Regina” (hahaha giggly goo) t-shirt from Schmutzie…who i love love love. she’s so wonderful.

~ cheeseburger parties.

~ Being told by two bloggers that they’d decided i was cute.

~ Anthropologie!

~ watching Heather B drink wine out of a starbucks cup.

~ crashing Maggie Mason’s party and stealing her cheetos. but really it was only because the chair-stealing idea went bust. (love you, Jennster!)

~ coming up with new taglines for our sites…um: Ali Martell: Short on Height, not on brains or Kristabella: A different shade of pale. awesome, eh? (and for the last time, Heather B, Canadians do NOT say a-BOOT)

you can continue laughing about my non-drinking (since i know you still are…)

but i wasn’t the one who said things like…

“um, do you ever get words stuck in your head…like, um, episiotomy? sometimes i just can’t get that word out of my head!”

(what? sure, i get things stuck in my head. things like stupid commercial jingles. and i always hear Jon Lovitz saying ‘Eat Fresh!’ all. the. damn. time. but i wouldn’t walk around advertising that to a complete stranger. just, um, out of the blue. and i certainly wouldn’t if the word was stitches on the vag related…just saying.)

or

“have you ever been inside of a meat locker??”

(have i ever been inside of a meat locker? that’s quite an interesting conversation starter…don’t you think? why yes, i WAS in one…the last time i was in that Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie…)

or

“i hear Dooce is in the house and i’m glad she’s not in here because if she was i’d be all ‘ohmigod! ohmigod! ohmigod! i LOOOOOOOOOOVE you”

(and then Dooce stands up and waves to everyone in the session)

or

something about mythical hobbits…

(huzzah! i had to throw that in there somewhere. but since i shy away from drama, you’ll have to go elsewhere to get the Bloggess/Dooce dirt. because i *heart* them both, yo!)

the trip was great. and you can, of course, see the whole photoset on flickr, here. i’m exhausted. am running on nothing but coffee and candy bars…sorry, Casey, Stara and i had to steal some of your wunderbars.

i am so glad i finally got to meet so many people that i love. (am not even going to attempt the linky love. there are way too many) and i’m sad that there are people who were there that i didn’t even get a chance to meet…like her and her.

but BlogHer was a big old fat tease. she throws all these amazing women into a room and says, “here’s a 48-hour gift”…it’s like when i was a kid and i used to watch this show and the prize was, like, 2 minutes in a store and you could fill your cart with whatever you wanted in those 2 minutes. no? i’m the only one who ever saw this? really?

there’s always next year.

(sadly, there was NO Cheesecake Factory. no time. boo. hiss. am crying)

ohmygoodgod,

i need a drink.

(where are my damn drink tickets now?)