Hey, so remember when I went to see a movie last week and there was no one in the theater and yet a dude still came and sat down exactly next to me and ate nachos and texted and manspreaded? It seems to be a theme with me. Last night I was meeting my friend at Starbucks and I was super excited to score the big comfy seats so I sat down in one and waited for her to join me in the seat across. Only a man came and plopped his heiney down in her seat. Across from me. And set his drink down on the table in front of me.

HAS HE NEVER BEEN TO STARBUCKS?

I am exactly 15 sleeps away from moving into my new home. I honestly never believed I’d make it this far without losing my mind — or perhaps I’ve actually gone mad and I just don’t know…I mean, I did read the entire 700million pages of The Goldfinch novel in one week, that could a person go nuts, right? — and the fact that it’s so close within reach is just mind-boggling to me. I’ll be honest, this has been hard. So very hard. I realize it’s all relative, since even though I was a homeless vagabond, I have been fortunate enough to have had a roof over my head since moving out of my house at the beginning of May.

Surprise! I have feelings about all of this.

I really can’t help but feel a tremendous amount of gratitude. To my in-laws, of course, who welcomed me and my family, who can be grumpy when they haven’t had enough sleep and who sometimes leave the lights on, into their casa. But to all the people who have really and truly held our hands through this process — families who opened their doors to us for Shabbat, friends who took me out for dinner. The family who allowed us to move in to their home — no questions asked — for an entire week (don’t worry, I didn’t touch the espresso machine for fear that I would break it!). My sister-in-law and brother-in-law, who not only housed us, but took care of our Indy puppy like he was their own (I hope only like he was their own, because we are totally taking him back).

So, there’s gratitude. But there’s also relief. And excitement. I’m so excciiiiiiiited —Jessie Spano. Also, me. 

(And there’s a teensy but of nervouscitement.)

It’s like I’m basically the sequel to Inside Out right now. 

I’m pretty sure Jon Hamm is the voice of excitement, I’m just saying.

I’m so excited to move to this next new stage of our lives that includes discussions about blue walls and white wainscoting and that includes chairs like this.

I’m so excited to be walking distance to our friends, and parks, and {the mall} and Starbucks and slurpees and Yogurtys. I’m excited to not be sleeping on a mattress on the floor anymore. And I’m excited to once again have my very own television and closet and fridge and washer/dryer and bathroom with counter space and office desk and coffee maker and basement and bedroom and mailbox and address.

My own address.

The sound of that is just wonderful.

I mean, it’s certainly better than the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat soundtrack that we’ve been listening to for days now. Miss Isabella scored herself the role of Joseph in Joseph, so naturally the first thing we did was download the soundtrack for her but for some reason iTunes hates Donny Osmond so you can’t buy the version that he sings and to be honest, there’s really no other version worth listening to. If there’s three things I know about Mr. Osmond, it’s that dude is good at procreation, wearing a loincloth, and being Joseph. Get it together iTunes.

Go go go iTunes?