July 12 15

Romance to me looks like: Bring me a cinnamon bun and just sit near me in our flannel jammies while I circle things in the Restoration Hardware catalog and I catch up on The Bachelorette.

I’m telling you this to set the stage—it’s called context. Which means that you should really not be surprised that a popcorn dinner at an 11:45pm showing of Jurassic World is one of the most romantic evenings my husband and I have shared in months.

Sidebar: Isn’t is awesome when you sit down in an empty theater and you can stretch your legs and relax and not need xanax or worry about nacho cheese scents wafting and/or manspreading? JUST KIDDING, last night I sat in a completely empty theater and a man came and sat down right beside me with his nacho cheese snack and his legs spread and he had some sort of cold, which meant he was shnorfling every 30 seconds.

Oh, and halfway through the movie he started texting.

I mean sure..the moment when the man double fists his margaritas to save them. I mean, sure, there was a breech in the aviary (spoiler alert!) and all the HUMAN-EATING BIRDS are flying around eating humans and all the humans are running for their lives but this man stop to make sure he saves his drinks. Priorities, I get it. So maybe the dude who sat beside me had priorities of his own.

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Shnorfling priorities.

Emily left for camp today, which means the dynamics of our lives are going to completely change.

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Last year when the girls left for camp discovered that Josh had a voice. No really. He was like that adorable little girl who puts on her glasses for the first time and sees her parents for the first time and everyone is shocked and elated.

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(from boingboing)

No, I swear. The child was silent for years and years, presumably because he a) was so chill and low maintenance and b) was unable to get a word in edgewise with two noisyneedy bookend sisters. But then all of the sudden the girls left and this voice emerged that wouldn’t stop telling us random facts about scientific things that may or may not actually be true facts, but they sounded reasonable for the most part. And also we learned every single thing about every single football team and player to ever be in the NFL. My son cared about things—and he just wanted to tell us about the things he cared about. It was wonderful.

I wonder what’ll happen with Josh and Isabella this year with Emily gone. Don’t tell Emily but we are celebrating our family of four with cokes. And if you know our family, you know that my children are only allowed to drink coke at the coke museum in Atlanta, so this is basically the best day ever and I’m the best mom ever. I got kisses and hugs like you wouldn’t believe. Bribery works, you guys. #pinnableadvicerighthere.

Maybe they want to watch The Bachelorette and circle things in the Restoration Hardware catalog. It’s super fun.

 

 

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  1. […] so remember when I went to see a movie last week and there was no one in the theater and yet a dude still came and sat down exactly next to me and ate nachos and texted and manspreaded? […]

    Pingback by I’m So Excciiiiiiiited —Jessie Spano. Also Me. | Cheaper Than Therapy on July 15, 2015
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