That’s all I want. Just a day. I want a day to wake up late. A day to sit in the backyard with a book. A day to window shop at anthropologie. A day to get a much needed pedicure. A day to buy some sandals to show off said pedicure. A day to park my behind at Starbucks and start watching Modern Family from the beginning while I return the 800 emails I owe. A day to take my camera to Oakland Cemetery. I want to buy a cupcake and not have to share it with anyone; I want to drink from a bottle of water and not have to surrender it to a super thirsty child. I want a day without having to wipe anyone’s ass, wash anyone’s hands, or get anyone a drink. I want a day without arguing. I want a day without any Codename: Kids Next Door. I want a day without scooping poop.

Until 9 months ago, I worked at a full-time day job that required a lot of juggling. I juggled to be at work early so I could leave early to make it to carpool on time. I used to rely on my nanny’s help for laundry and cleaning and bath time, so I could deal with food shopping and cooking and homework and bedtime. Sure, it was madness. But, it was what worked for our family. I loved my job. I loved being able to afford to pay tuition. I loved that our nanny babysat every Sunday night so the husband and I could end our weekends with some red wine and a nice dinner. It was what worked.

Until it didn’t work anymore.

I started to resent my job, to resent the fact that I was never around. I couldn’t plan playdates for the kids because I couldn’t drive them to or from. I couldn’t take them to the dentist, the doctor, the optometrist.  I had to pick and choose which class plays and holiday presentations I could go to because it was impossible to go to them all. I didn’t see my kids in the morning. Sometimes I didn’t see my kids at night. And then they began to resent my job.

Then this opportunity came up. It was a work-from-home situation that I couldn’t refuse. Suddenly, my life got flipped turned upside down. I still do a lot of juggling, but it’s a different kind. I juggle to get the three kids out of the house in the morning. I juggle their after-school activities and playdates because there are too many. I juggle to get the shopping done, laundry done, dinner on the table, homework done, baths done and bedtime done on my own (what’s a nanny again?) with a husband who is out of town 15 days out of every 30. I can count on one hand finger how many times the husband and I ended a weekend with some red wine and a nice dinner. On many a day, my work day doesn’t get to begin until well after 9pm.

I am more tired than I have ever been in my life.

But I chose this, I want this, I need this.

I know my kids and their friends and their teachers. I know their likes and dislikes. I KNOW THEM.

There’s no full-time salary that can compete with this. I am happier than I have ever been in my life.

But, you see, tomorrow is my birthday. I am turning 29.

(again)

And if you ask me what I want for my birthday, my answer is very simple really.

(I also really need a DSLR…since it seems that I’m going to have to give back the D80 I have been using this year.)

I want a day.