September 24 10

think that leggings should NEVER be worn as pants. If when you ask yourself, “Self…am I an Olympic speed skater?” and the answer is no, I should not ever see your ass or your crotch when you are wearing leggings. This isn’t ‘Nam. There are rules.

…hate swimming.

…am kind of in love with Jesse Eisenberg. I want to bake him a pie. AND buy him a hoodie.

…think Jersey Shore is genius.

…got banged.

…drink my coffee with skim milk and splenda. And usually manage to make a large coffee last all day long, mostly by reheating it in the microwave. At least thrice. Sometimes more.

…need more Jacob Ben Israel in my life.

…bleed green and gold. #PACKERS

…will never, ever say no to a cupcake.

didn’t love The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

…love Nibs, but cannot bring myself to eat anything else cherry-flavored.

…still cannot get enough of Betty White. Put her in every movie, I say! She will never jump the shark in my books.

…am embarrassed by how much Ed Hardy is worn by the Moms (and the Dads, OMG) in the school parking lot. In fact, I’m embarrassed by how much Ed Hardy is worn by anyone. ANYWHERE. Including Zoo Atlanta.

…am annoyed that radio stations play the same 9 songs on a constant loop. I mean, I was in total love with that Eminem/Rihanna song and now, I swear, my ears bleed whenever it comes on the radio (which is every 26 minutes, roughly).

…can’t really believe that I liked a Rihanna song.

…am always inappropriately dressed for the weather. I leave the house in a wool sweater and tights and boots and it ends up being 86 degrees outside. I leave the house in a sundress and it ends up being 45 degrees. Maybe I should start checking the weather report more often.

…don’t really understand why it’s called a DVR in the states and a PVR in Canada.

…love that Isabella doesn’t say Phineas and Ferb. Instead, she says “Vineas and Verb.” I will never tell her that she’s wrong.

…am pretty sure that Spongebob Squarepants is the work of the devil.

…really want to see that Joaquin Phoenix movie. I really don’t even care that it was all a hoax. In fact, it kind of makes me want to see it more. I have kind of had a thing for him since way back in the day when he was in Space Camp and was called Leaf Phoenix and not Joaquin.

…am unreasonably saddened by the loss of Ms. Blankenship. She died like she lived: Surrounded by the people she answered phones for. Also, I kind of want to steal her glasses.

think my ass is, by far, my best body part.

…love the subway.

…get turned out when I research appliances.

…am a fan of mayonaise.

…think that the bus scene in Almost Famous is, well, incendiary.

wish diet coke with lime didn’t taste so much like SOAP, because the idea is soooo good in theory.

…really want to own these Frye boots. And I don’t even care that Miley Cyrus has the same ones.

  1. The very fact that you said “incendiary” in exactly the right context (now and forever) I believe I love you even MOAR.

    Happy Friday, splendid Splenda lady!!

    Comment by Grumble Girl on September 24, 2010
  2. I need to know what KIND of mayonaise. In my world there’s only one kind. Curious to see if it’s the same.

    Also. Fyre boots? Best investment I made to my working wardrobe.

    Comment by OHmommy on September 24, 2010
  3. Um, I’m a Hellman’s girl…and I think Miracle Whip is kind of disgusting.

    Also, you *may* have just convinced me to buy those boots. ARGH.

    Comment by ali on September 24, 2010
  4. Sterling is the best damn character on that show. period.

    Love the boots, thinks you should try girl who played with fire but skip the hornets nest (because the ending was a huge let down).

    Comment by Kara on September 24, 2010
  5. Can’t get past the fact that the picture of your children is BLURRY so you can photgraph Ed Hardy-ness.

    I didn’t think I could love you any more than I already did, alimartell.

    Comment by sam {temptingmama} on September 24, 2010
  6. Wow! You just blew my mind. I never knew that Leaf and Joaquin Phoenix were one and the same. It’s actually hurting my head trying to sort it all out.

    But looking at those pretty boots makes my head feel better.

    Comment by Jennifer on September 24, 2010
  7. Thank you!!! My husband loves Diet Pepsi with lime. I think it tastes like raw sewage. Or what I imagine raw sewage to taste like… I know you said coke… but I’m applying it to pepsi.
    .-= Hamlet’s Mistress´s last blog ..Thursday Thirteen – Movies… again =-.

    Comment by Hamlet's Mistress on September 24, 2010
  8. I stand by the fact that the people who think Jersey Shore sucks have never seen it. It is awesome in its ridiculousness!

    I just bought some tall brown boots and am going to attempt to wear them with skinny jeans because you told me I could rock it.

    Guess what? I get to see you in like a month!

    Comment by Kristabella on September 24, 2010
  9. Leaf and Joaquin are THE SAME GUY? Now see this is why I read you Alimartell. How long have people known this anyway? Where have I been?

    Frye boots – just say YES.

    And Ed Hardy WTfreakingH? WHY? (ackgag)
    .-= amy2boys´s last blog ..Blue Ribbon Day =-.

    Comment by amy2boys on September 24, 2010
  10. Go Pack! Woot!

    Also, Jersey Shore rocks.

    Comment by Becs on September 24, 2010
  11. Went to Macy’s recently and it looked like Ed Hardy threw up in there. *shudder* Tried to explain to the boyfriend that Ed Hardy is the designer for douche bags, makes them easy to spot. He just thinks it’s ugly. 🙂

    Comment by Bri on September 24, 2010
  12. great. now I’m wasting more time at work on the boot site. jeesh 😉

    Comment by Holly on September 24, 2010
  13. I … feel the exact same way about Joaquin Phoenix and his new movie. I’m actually RELIEVED the whole thing was a hoax. I was really worried for him! Also, I will always think fondly of him as the porno-hiding, chubby-cheeked kid (still known as Leaf then, too) from Parenthood.

    Comment by Jen on September 24, 2010
  14. I LOVE your list posts, Ali Martell!!! I still want to be you, in Filipino version.

    Comment by Nenette on September 24, 2010
  15. De-lurking to confess that I read this post while drinking diet coke w/ lime!! Maybe it’s my unconditional love of all things citrus, but if I have to settle for regular diet coke I am sad.

    And am I the only person left who’s never seen Jersey Shore?

    Comment by Stefka on September 24, 2010
  16. Thank you! I thought I was the only one who didn’t love that book. It was OK- but I think all the OMGBESTBOOKEVERBBQ hype ruined it for me. That or it just wasn’t that good.

    Also, Poor, poor Mrs. Blankenship.

    Comment by rkmama on September 24, 2010
  17. Vineas and Verb? I love that. She is adorable.

    I don’t understand how you can live in a country that has no Target.

    Comment by Issa on September 24, 2010
  18. Diet Coke with lime is of the debbil.

    Comment by Angella on September 24, 2010
  19. She was an astronaut, Ali.

    I know; it made me sad, too.

    I’ve been on the Jesse Eisenberg love train for about eight months, too, and you are the first fellow passenger I’ve met. Heh. Figures; since we have such great taste in men. 😉

    Comment by becca on September 24, 2010
  20. Oh my gosh you’re awesome. thanks for that.

    Comment by suzanne on September 24, 2010
  21. Those boots are awesome. Vineas and Verb is adorable. Leggings with short shirts are terrible.
    .-= Kristen´s last blog ..If I was bigger would exercising-eating healthy be easier =-.

    Comment by Kristen on September 25, 2010
  22. Ali,

    you are the best. I love your ass. It’s sooooo firm.

    Comment by kristi on September 26, 2010
  23. I want to walk up to girls in leggings and whisper loudly, “Pst! I think you forgot your pants! How embarrassing for you!” Leggings with a short dress is one thing, but they are not a replacement for pants.

    Comment by MonsteRawr on September 26, 2010
  24. I’m with you on mayonnaise, Ms. Blankenship, and your ass.

    Comment by Avitable on September 27, 2010
  25. I agree with OHmommy on the Frye boots – bought mine a few years ago and the fave thing I own.

    I’m a newcomer to Hellmans and I could eat it straight out of the jar.

    I admit it – I wear leggings as pants…
    .-= Sara´s last blog ..This Song Reminds Me of ThursdaysYOU ARE THE BEST THING =-.

    Comment by Sara on September 27, 2010

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