My kids are at Camp Mommy this week. If you are in the Milwaukee area and you are looking for some fun (and free!) entertainment for your kiddies, look no further! Just send them on over to Casa de Ali’s Mom for some summer fun.
Please keep your fingers crossed that it doesn’t rain so we don’t have to clean up from another flood, and please don’t use the dairy dishwasher, because that tends to flood the basement too.
Also, please keep in mind that Camp Mommy will not begin until – at least – 10am, because I must have at least 2 cups of coffee coursing through my veins before we can have any sort of fun.
Behold! Exciting camp activities include:
1. Picking out upholstery. Yes. This is a fan favorite around here and involves searching the internet for a fabric to cover my kitchen chairs. It may even include a fun-filled field trip to Hancock Fabrics! Why yes, my husband so thoughtfully recovered my kitchen chairs last week, and you guys, it was sooo sweet of him to do, but they are just, well, they are not what I had envisioned. So, I am recovering my already recovered chairs. So, my little campers and I are on A Quest For the Perfect Kitchen Chair Fabric. Thoughts on this? Any ideas you want to share?
Or something brown and damasky.
And then I kind of liked this until I saw THE ANTLERS.
…and now I will have nightmares.
2. Field trips to Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s.
3. Lots of time spent outside in the sunshine…trying to get the dog to do his business. Sometimes this can take up to 9 or 10 futile attempts before there’s any action. This, kids, is SUPER FUN.
4. Swimming in the lake. But, because Mommy is terrified of drowning babies, you will be wearing a life jacket, even if you are 25.
5. Dress-up time.
6. A trip to Kohl’s (and not the scary Milwaukee Target) to find a brassiere that fits because the one she I am wearing now is no good for anyone’s eyes.
7. Glee Soundtrack karaoke dance parties. And maybe a little bit of the OMG Usher song too. Maybe. If you are lucky.
8. Settlers of Catan marathons.
And while I can’t promise that there will be regular bathing or regular bed times or even regular eating times…
(Ice cream for lunch! At 2pm! FTW!)
…I promise it will be the best money ever spent.
On second thought, if your kids aren’t into lingerie sections of department stores or endless amount of Star Wars marathons or playing with my hair for extra minutes at bedtime or cross-dressing for CATS performances or Who Can Sing Higher in Defying Gravity contests or melty beads or eating ice cream for lunch or field trips to dry cleaners, this *might* not be the camp for you…
If you want to see more of me â€“ and, I mean, obviously, you do â€“ you can read my latest entertainment news over atÂ Juice, where I am gabbing about Big Brother and drooling over Don Draper, my latest outfit over atÂ The Urban Closet, my latest advice over atÂ So You Want It, and my latest blathering over atÂ Aiming Low, where I am giving away a Starbucks gift card if you show me your inner ugly.