On Friday, I wrote a post that had a lot of people all up in arms that I have never eaten at Taco Bell. Yes, it’s true. I haven’t. And yes, I know, I require other ways to keep myself, um, regular. But, here’s the interesting thing. There were 30 comments on that post (OMG, I haven’t gotten 30 comments on a post since 2007, you know, back when people still commented on blogs. Also, you know, back when people called them blogs and that word wasn’t cringe-worthy yet) and not one of them was about my distaste for a certain yellow-covered, uber-famous Swedish book. Not one. Does that mean that you, like I, didn’t really like it all that much? Or does it mean that this was a total dealbreaker and we can’t be friends because, holy cow, it’s your most favorite book that you have ever read in your entire life?
So, here is something you should know about me. I am a reader. I love to read. Since the tender age of 4, I have been reading just about everything I have been able to get my hands on. Magazines, books, newspapers. I mean, heck, I enjoy reading the backs of cereal boxes (except the ones in Canada, because they are half French and I don’t speak a lick of that language). At any current time, I am reading no less than three books. There’s always one in the master bathroom, one by my nightstand, one in the family room, maybe one in the car, one on the Kobo….Up until yesterday, I was immersed in several books – The Postmistress by Sarah Blake. The White Queen by Philippa Gregory. In the Time of Butterflies by Julia Alvarez.
And The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
Now this last one has been on the currently reading list for a very long time. I mean, we are talking mid-June. It’s just that, well, the book is about 900 pages long. Okay, fine, it’s only 575 or some such crazy large number and the first 350? Total shit. I swear, I’m not kidding. I stuck it out, however, because of THE HYPE. Oh my god, you guys. The hype. Every single person I know is reading this trilogy. You can’t ride the subway without running into at least 3 different people reading one of Stieg Larsson’s bestsellers. You can’t mention books without it coming up in conversation. But, I swear to you, I could have summed up the first 350 pages in about EIGHT.
There is a girl. She has a dragon tattoo.
There is a man. He does not.
He is involved in some problems at work and goes out to the country to investigate the possibly murder of this old dude’s relative.
He meets 8 billion Swedish different relatives who turn out to be COMPLETELY UNIMPORTANT TO THE STORY AT ALL OMG.
There you have it. 350 pages of nothing.
Oh wait. No. The man has some sex.
And he drinks coffee and eats a hell of a lot of sandwiches.
That’s it.
Pages 350-450 were good. Very good, actually. They were interesting and fast-paced. There’s some more sex. But there are also some surprises! Some drama! Some action! Some Da Vinci Code-like code solving! Some badass detective work! Serial Killers!
But then…the last 100 pages? BACK TO BORING AS HELL.
So, I stuck it out. And forced myself to finish.
And now I cannot even bring myself to read the other two.
Because with three other books on my plate…who has the time to be bored to death?
Please note: I did write about this on Aiming Low a while ago, and the opinions were surprisingly mixed. Haters, Lovers, and in-betweeners. What about you? What are you?
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