be afraid. be very afraid. - Cheaper Than Therapy Cheaper Than Therapy

May 1 08

I have an irrational fear of being bald. My maternal grandmother always had very little hair…but that was from spending years in Auschwitz. My mom has hair. Hell, even my Dad has hair (although, strangely, no leg hair. it’s a mystery that my sister and i have always tried to figure out. was he a swimmer in his secret life? ) It’s just one of those things. bald men? totally normal. bald women? erm, not so much.

i have a fear of my basement. i know it’s childish and stupid. i laugh at my kids when they don’t want to go down alone to search for a missing plaything. but really i want them to go down so i don’t have to. i’m scared that Pennywise lives in my basement. seriously.

fake nails scare me. two words. heebie. jeebies. ew. also? how do people with fake nails take their contacts out? and how do they type on a keyboard? how? i don’t understand!

Benjamin Linus scares me. dude is pure evil. and now that i know he controls blacky mcsmokenstein…i’m even more afraid.

gefilte fish scares me. why? why do people eat this? do you know what it is?? (coagulated fish balls anyone?) it’s a mixture of all different types of fish all joined together in patty form. BARF.

high-waisted pants scare me.

mannequins scare me. especially the headless kind. because why? seriously?

Josh’s Buzz Lightyear and Woody action-figures scare the ever-loving shit out of me. i am seriously convinced that our kids toys are alive.

showering when no one is home scares me. because, really, you just NEVER know…

Paula Abdul scares me.

what scares you???

🙂

Filed Under

the girl behind the screen

Comments

I’m with you on the fear of going to the basement alone (I don’t do it unless Mike is home) and I’m also afraid of showering at home alone.
I kind of have to, so I bring the baby into the bathroom with me, in her bassinet. Cause, you know, the one month old could protect me if need be.
Or I bring my cat in. Because I figure she’d alert me to any noises.
I’m actually really afraid of snakes. Like terrified.

LD’s last blog post..What’s Going On?
Comment by LD on May 1, 2008
I have to remember not to read your blog before I watch Lost! lol

I have an irrational fear of moths. I can pick up a spider and carry it outside, but if a moth gets in the4 house, I suddenly become a 5 year old girl.

AndreAnna’s last blog post..Travesties
Comment by AndreAnna on May 1, 2008
Firstly: Ditto to absolutely everything on your list.

IN ADDITION
When my shoes stick to the floor, Overly whitened teeth, Spit (especially stepping in a goober that someone spit on the sidewalk causing me to actually SLIP)–hey, maybe that’s why my shoes are sticky.

The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Remind me to tell you about my accidental enthusiasm about a Strip Club…
Comment by The Over-Thinker on May 1, 2008
Fun post. Perfect for me as I’m overcoming self-diagnosed anxiety disorder. I will take a shower when I’m home alone, but it’s the opposite of relaxing!

fringes’s last blog post..Since Gyuss was talking to Q and not to me, on to dgm!
Comment by fringes on May 1, 2008
Once I made my neighbour come over when I was home alone bcuz I swear I heard noises coming from the basement.
Comment by Maria on May 1, 2008
CLOWNS. They freak me right out.

My sister collected them when we were growing up. And we shared a room.

*shudder*

Angella’s last blog post..Housekeeping
Comment by Angella on May 1, 2008
Basements. We once looked at a house that was nice but I couldn’t buy it b/c the basement was too freaky – way too freaky.
And maggots. Freak.Me.Out.

Teri’s last blog post..Knitalong: A Book Review
Comment by Teri on May 1, 2008
The dark and spiders are MY big phobias… it’s a reason I hate going into things like basements and stuff, the dark one actually. I also have this aligator that I’ve had since I was two days old and it scares the BEJEBEEZ out of me.

And to answer the fake nails thing? It’s VERY hard to do anything with fake nails – put on pants, type…. but I got used to it.

Maryann’s last blog post..Icon Gallery Up!!
Comment by Maryann on May 1, 2008
clowns! easter rabbits aka donnie darko! big ugly hairless green or brown giant caterpillars!watching scary movies then having to go upstairs in the dark….
Comment by LAVENDULA on May 1, 2008
My biggest fear is hitting a pedestrian or bicylist with my car.

And, I HATE clowns.

BethanyWD’s last blog post..Meal planning for 4/28-5/2.
Comment by BethanyWD on May 1, 2008
Two things: clowns (will have nightmares for three days after seeing the picture above; every time I see a clown, I have a nightmare. One Tree Hill pissed me off this week too. CLOWNS SHOULD COME WITH WARNINGS) and tornadoes.

She Likes Purple’s last blog post..Things I’ve Been Meaning To Tell You
Comment by She Likes Purple on May 1, 2008
soaking wet napkins or tissues… so creepy…
Comment by Amanda on May 1, 2008
Bloated Cheerios or bread in the sink after the dishes are put in the washer. Ick.

Centi- and / or millipedes. I get the chills just thinking about them!

Weird looking dolls creep me out. Something about those blank stares makes me feel afraid.

anne’s last blog post..Thursday 13: ZZZZZZ…… ZZZZZZZZZZ
Comment by anne on May 1, 2008
Being submerged in a vehicle is my biggest fear. I have no idea where that came from.

Also I hate puppets, clown dolls, closing my eyes in the shower when nobody else is home. Remember that song from the early 80s, “Somebody’s watching me?” And the line, “when I’m in the shower, I’m afraid to wash my hair. I might open my eyes and find someone standing there!” That’s totally me.

Sadie’s last blog post..Go Tigers!
Comment by Sadie on May 1, 2008
That fish thing is awful! Who wouldn’t be scared of that? Is that a Canadian thing, I have never heard of it.

I am terrified of the dark. I blame my brother who locked me in closets, clothes hampers and dark garages when I was a child. The showering thing too. And vaccuuming alone.

Megan’s last blog post..The Subway Bandit
Comment by Megan on May 1, 2008
the ocean (or more specifically, all the creepy shite that lives in the ocean)
shower curtains that aren’t see through (because if you can’t see through the shower curtain, someone will creep up on you and kill you dead)

hillary’s last blog post..‘Cause This Is Music For The Young And Foolish
Comment by hillary on May 1, 2008
Clowns for sure. And realistic looking dolls (remember the Seinfeld where George dated a woman who collected them and she had one that looked like his mom?)
Apple cores, banana and orange peels etc…gross and nasty and the thought of touching them makes me shudder.
Birds, esp big ones like ravens and hawks.
Heights.
(I say gefilte fish is the Spam of fish, yuk)

Becca’s last blog post..Broke out the Bike
Comment by Becca on May 1, 2008
I share some of these too!

amy’s last blog post..Two little Marines….
Comment by amy on May 1, 2008
Well I certainly share your fear of barf and anyone barfing….but you knew that. Paula too – the woman is permanently drunk. But also have a fear of shoes on the table – I guess that’s more of an inherited superstition from my hungarian mom – she says that if you put shoes on the table – any shoe on any table you will be poor or become poor from that day on. Crazy.
Comment by KathyM on May 1, 2008
Funny you should mention mannequins…I love watching Nip/Tuck but I hate the beginning with all the creepy mannequins and the music…yeesh…don’t like it!!!
My other big fear is bats…ooh…just typing it gives me the willies!

Judy’s last blog post..SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME…WHEN YOU’RE 5!
Comment by Judy on May 1, 2008
Hilarious! You should go back and read my post a few weeks back about our Woody’s head falling off…I bet he was pissed!

So I guess the movie “Mannequin” wasn’t your favorite!

Funny post!

amy’s last blog post..Happy May Day…
Comment by amy on May 1, 2008
I have a very weird fear of falling down open stairwells. It doesnt matter how far away I walk from them, I still think that some how, I’m gonna fall down the stairs.

Miss’s last blog post..Rehab
Comment by Miss on May 1, 2008
Bridges. Crossing them. Especially that long skinny one in Maryland on the turnpike…I close my eyes. Which is especially bad if I’m the one driving!
Comment by Good & Crazy on May 1, 2008
Well, you know what scares me from my TT post last week! I should have emphasized gum, though…. Like Oprah, I’m afraid of chewing gum….Have recurring nightmares about it!

Haley-O’s last blog post..Sweet Escapeâ€¦.And, 13 Celebrities Iâ€™d Like to Be RIGHT NOW
Comment by Haley-O on May 1, 2008
yeah – prolly all that. Especially Benjamin Linus. The high waisted jeans (“mom jeans”) maybe don’t scare me, just gross me out 🙂

jennyonthespot’s last blog post..Youâ€™re a Good Mom – Revisited
Comment by jennyonthespot on May 1, 2008
I am on the same boat as you when it comes to Pennywise the clown, basements and showering when no one is home! Just not right! In fact I may have cried out when I saw that scary clown peeping out of the sewer system just now… good thing I was sitting down

Tena’s last blog post..Thursday 13: 1980’s Movies and Prayer
Comment by Tena on May 1, 2008
Haha, the shower thing…totally.

Huckdoll’s last blog post..K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Comment by Huckdoll on May 1, 2008
Ventriloquists and their dummies are the scariest things ever!
Comment by Anna on May 1, 2008
OMG. When I picked Julia up from school one day this week she was like, “Mummy! Mummy! LOOK WHAT I FOUND!” She had something in her fisted hand and when she opened it, I saw something blue and sparkly. So I leaned down to get a closer look, because I am SERIOUSLY BLIND, even WITH my glasses on. And dude. Do you know what it was?

It was a FAKE NAIL. With a little fake diamond in it.

I was like, “EWWWW!” And I knocked it out of her hand and squished it on the ground like it was a spider, LMAO!! Julia started fucking BAWLING, and went to go pick it up, but I was all, OH, HELLS NO! and pulled her to the car.

I hate being in the house alone. I also hate having to get up in the night and go downstairs to get something in the dark, because usually I forget to put my glasses on and, as I mentioned above, I’m seriously blind.

When it comes to little bits of paper, I get a serious case of the heebie jeebies. It’s even worse if people like, roll paper in between their fingers or twist it into a little paper tornado. It makes me want to vomit, and if it gets thrown at me, GAME OVER.

(And dude! I thought you were JOKING about the cookies! OMG! Seriously, you are the sweetest thing ever…but if you have more pressing things to do tonight, like, say…watch television or have sex, then please…don’t make me cookies.)

🙂

mamatulip’s last blog post..Behind the 8-ball
Comment by mamatulip on May 1, 2008
gotta add one: monkeys

Becca’s last blog post..I must be mad
Comment by Becca on May 1, 2008
Mannequins and high-waisted pants scare the shit out of me. Particularly,when in combination.

Amanda (Shamelessly’s last blog post..The Tin Can Adventures: The Human Trash Target
Comment by Amanda (Shamelessly on May 1, 2008
OMG! The Paula thing was SO hilarious! It was seriously uncomfortable though. I am always on edge with Paula because you just never know…ya know?

Jen Maier’s last blog post..Body and Soul CONTEST!
Comment by Jen Maier on May 1, 2008
OMG, what a great post. Can I just tell you I had to interview Ben Linus last spring, and had it not been for the fact that at the time I hadn’t seen an episode of Lost (the next month, I watched all three seasons in less than three weeks; I’m now quite hooked), I would have been shaking in my panties.

Have you seen No Country for Old Men? Because Javier Bardem’s character is right up there with fictional psychos who give me the heebie-jeebies.

Other things that scare me include sharks and flying (oh the irony, and I’m a travel writer–I think it’s because I fly SO much for my work that I fear the odds are against me). Ooh, and fire. I’m really scared of fire.

Camels & Chocolate’s last blog post..A Word from Our Sponsors
Comment by Camels & Chocolate on May 1, 2008
Oh yes, and Freaky Paula totally makes my list, as well. What kind of drugs do you suppose she’s on? Because, dude, that was WEIRD.

Camels & Chocolate’s last blog post..A Word from Our Sponsors
Comment by Camels & Chocolate on May 1, 2008
I would say San Francisco drivers, but that’s too literal.

Spiders give me the jeebies. If my house were burning down but there was a spider on the door, I would burn. And I really truly seriously can’t stand it when people run their hands over fabric…it makes my teeth itch.

I have a friend who’s afraid of balloons and used to know someone who was scared to death of rubberbands. And I once dated a guy who would practically faint if he caught you biting wool.
Comment by Jemima on May 1, 2008
moths. they fucking TERRIFY me. i stood up and started laughing and crying in absolute hysterics the other day because one flew in my shirt. jitta thought i was insane.

Lara’s last blog post..Bits and Pieces
Comment by Lara on May 1, 2008
Please never ever post a picture of a clown like that without warning. I put my hand up and blocked the picture as I hurriedly scrolled down. CLowns, Dolls for adults. Other things do, but those are the main things I think.
Love ya!
Comment by monstergirlee on May 1, 2008
Heh, Miss Abdul is hilarious! Oh, shall I email you our life-size photos of Buzz and Woody AND Jessie from Disney? LOL!!!!

My fear, or at least one of them? Well, swimming in water where I CAN’T SEE WHAT IS AROUND ME!!!

Holly’s last blog post..Praying for a Miracle
Comment by Holly on May 1, 2008
Freaking A!!! You had to show me that damn clown in the sewer picture. Now I will have nightmares tonight. That stupid movie scares the CRAP-O-LA out of me!!!!!

FENICLE’s last blog post..Miley Cyrus Is A Hot Commodity
Comment by FENICLE on May 1, 2008
squirrels….i am so afraid of them.

as for high wasted pants…i am so ready for them…god i’m sick of muffin top and butt cracks!
Comment by porter on May 1, 2008
I used to have a plastic Gizmo doll, right after Gremlins first came out. I couldn’t leave him on my nightstand because I was terrified he was going to turn into a gremlin and eat my face while I slept.

BTW, because of this post right here I’ve realized that you aren’t on my Google Reader list. I’m deathly afraid of failing to stay caught up on the people I like to blog stalk, so I’m going to launch my cyber-silver-broach at the Pennywise Spider and rectify that situation right now.

Backpacking Dad’s last blog post..In which I try my hand at stand-up
Comment by Backpacking Dad on May 2, 2008
I had a fear of basements for the longest time!

Multi-Tasking Mommy’s last blog post..Can you say “Whoop, Whoop” for the pregnant lady?!
Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on May 2, 2008
The burning question in my mind is how to people with long fake nails pick their nose?

Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..The Shake-Shake Marriage – A Double Entendre?
Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on May 2, 2008
I’m actually more freaked out by the mannequins WITH heads, it feels like they are watching me. ((shudder))

Bri’s last blog post..My Very Own Episode of 24
Comment by Bri on May 2, 2008
Wow! You listed a lot of scary scary things!

Rollercoasters scare the crap out of me yet I can stand on the glass floor at the CN Tower and look down.

Teena in Toronto’s last blog post..Book ~ “The Writing Diet” (2007) – Julia Cameron
Comment by Teena in Toronto on May 3, 2008
That picture of a clown is right up there, I tell ya. For me, though, it’s snakes, hands down. Can’t watch that scene in Indiana Jones. AT. ALL. Snakes on a Plane? Well, you couldn’t pick a movie that I would like less, and I haven’t even seen it.

nomotherearth’s last blog post..Two Timing
Comment by nomotherearth on May 5, 2008
Ben used to scare me. Now I just sit in awe because WHO IS THIS MAN????

Rollercoasters scare me. Jumping out of planes. Anything where I could DIE.

I also have an irrational fear of getting pink eye from the skeevy Dunkin Donuts by work.

Kristabella’s last blog post..Good Times Guaranteed
Comment by Kristabella on May 6, 2008