February 20 12

This static electricity problem has become A SITUATION. What I wanted to blame on Toronto, and then on Ottawa and now on Atlanta, I can’t really, as it seems to be a ME problem. I seriously look like I have been on 3-2-1 Contact and was involved in some experiment. Only with slightly less stone-wash on my jeans.

You know. THIS.

I suppose it could be worse. I could still smell like Middle Eastern food. Or like airplane.

It has been quite the weekend, I tell you.

Yesterday morning, of course, was the most interesting, probably because it started early.

Or late, depending on how you look at things.

I’m not really a good traveler at the best of times.

So, this weekend of a family road trip to Ottawa, chased by a singular two-leg trip to Atlanta for my grandmother’s funeral was enough to gives me a serious case of the panics. So, I do what I normally do in situations of particular panic—I pop Xanax and Tic Tacs and I sing the lyrics to We Didn’t Start The Fire in my head. Judge if you must but at the end of the day, it’s how I do.

Before most trips, I do everything in power to get out of going.

It’s true.

“Maybe we should cancel.”

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

“Maybe my work needs me too much.”

“Maybe the kids will get sick.”

“Maybe *I* will get sick.”

It’s bad news, really. Especially when trips involve family funerals and I know that canceling is not in the cards.

It almost happened organically actually, without any manipulation or black magic on my part. Halfway to Ottawa, my husband turns to me and says, “Did you pack your passport?”

“Don’t be silly, husband. Why on earth would I need a passport to go to Ottawa?”

“Well, wife. You are getting on an airplane early Sunday morning. Remember?”

And that was when we pulled over at the side of the highway, and a very perturbed husband walked to the back of the van to make sure I did, indeed, have a passport in my possession.

“Well, I feel dumb now.”

“Trust me, wife. You would feel A HELL OF A LOT MORE DUMB had I not found the passport back there.”


So, the flight was happening.

So, I plugged my nose and was on my way.

Because what choice did I have, really?

And I’ll spend today looking around for a dryer sheet.

So I don’t look like I have been electrocuted.

Or something.

  1. The funny thing is that I was up at that time Sunday morning. In fact, I was up until 5 AM in AZ, which would have been 7 your time.

    That really would explain why I can’t keep my eyes open right now.

    Comment by Kristabella on February 20, 2012
  2. See…you are the yin to my yang. For you it was late…for me it was early. Hee 🙂

    Comment by ali on February 20, 2012
  3. I doubt that. I can’t remember the last time I was up that late, nor do I want to!

    Comment by Kristabella on February 20, 2012
  4. Ugh, 3:30 AM, that just sucks. Times like that I always wonder if I should even bother going to bed first because I know I’ll never sleep, just lay in bed making mental lists about what I didn’t do. And it’ll keep me awake until I either write it down or just get up.
    I hope everyone stays healthy. And I’m sorry about your grandmother, that’s kind of the worst reason to travel. Hugs.

    Comment by monstergirlee on February 20, 2012
  5. If you find another solution to the CONSTANT OMFG STATIC please clue me in. I’m tired of having a dryer sheet in my pocket at all times.

    Comment by Jen on February 20, 2012
  6. Clearly, you’re just an electric personality with very attractive qualities who just positively charges other people.

    Comment by Avitable on February 21, 2012
  7. Whats your CardsApp brand number?

    Comment by William brown on October 19, 2013

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