May 16 07

my gym is inside of a mall. i realized early on that this was both good and bad. good because i can run those little errands, such as visiting my favorite tailor (short people have favorite tailors, of course), or picking up diapers. bad because malls are too dangerous. putting me in a mall is like putting Isabella in a pool of pacifiers. it’s like heaven.

but the one thing i hate, hate, hate about having a gym is the traffic. don’t even get me started on the parking. there’s never any good parking. yes, i realize there’s much hypocrisy here. i’m going to the gym to exercise, but i’m too lazy to walk from the parking spot to the building.

today, however, it’s about the traffic actually getting into the mall. bathurst street has three lanes. the one on the right is a turning lane, turning into the mall. BUT, every single day, as i reach the red light, all ready to turn in and get started on my workout, there’s a car going straight. in a turning lane. so, i have to sit and wait patiently for the light to turn green.

so, for the first few days i waiting patiently.

and then i started waiting impatiently.

and then i started giving a little honk…just to nudge the driver to say “hey, buddy, you’re in the wrong lane”

and then i started giving a loooooong honk. so he gets the point. and that others around me can see how annoyed i am.

and yesterday i began flipping the bird. because i’m freakin’ pissed off. especially at the lovely guy in the cadillac who actually switched lanes as the light turned red. switched into my lane. even though he was going straight and i had my right turn signal on. motherfucker.

now, i ask you….is this wrong? am i being too harsh? is it too much to ask that drivers going straight use one of the two lanes that are meant for that purpose? what do you think? what other driving offenses make you crazy?? (oh good lord, i have many. i hate when people don’t signal. i really hate it. i hate when people have young kids in the front seat. i hate when people ride my ass. )

  1. I have always been of the opinion that 90% of all traffic problems would be resolved with standard anti-aircraft grade weaponry mounted on the hood of all vehicles.

    Comment by SciFi Dad on May 16, 2007
  2. So many driving pet peeves. Having just moved to suburbia I can say without any doubt it is the people who feel they do not need to signal and who feel that signs that say 50 km/h really mean 30 km/h.
    Soooo annoying. And all the people who let like 25 cars in.
    And, I sware in suburbia people feel bad honking. I’m a honking machine and people get mad at me. I miss the aggressiveness of Toronto. And, I sware that people get in more accidents here (I know it’s not true – but I would say more stupid accidents.
    PS my gym is also in a mall, but I walk there. I love it being in the mall (across the street)

    Comment by Laural on May 16, 2007
  3. I used to be impatient with a**holes like this. I truly understand your rant Ali. Quebecers, as you know, are notoriously terrible/fast drivers. I used to be a honking-raged-maniac and wondered how some people could get a license. Something happened to me however as I approached the end of 30’s .. and now at 41, I actually flip the bird to those that honk at me, or cut me off because I’m not going 80 miles and hr on the highway. I have actually had people pass me on my residential street, because I’m going 35km/hr instead of 60km/h (40km/h limit) because I don’t want to create the next statistic (last nov. a lady was run down walking her dog, dog killed, she is a little above a vegetable in the hospital). I guess I just have this calmness that has come over me, and I don’t get so impatient anymore.

    I have to say, though, I truly like SciFi Dad’s idea, and it’s something my husband has said alot 🙂

    Comment by Sarah on May 16, 2007
  4. Anymore I find myself less patient with stupid drivers!! It’s almost scary, because I can feel the rage inside of me… And it makes so much worse when you are in a hurry or it seems to keep happening all day long.

    No you’re not wrong – they are!!! Maybe this anger will fuel some intense workouts?

    Comment by FENICLE on May 16, 2007
  5. no, you are not being too harsh. at all.

    my pet peeve is when people coming up to a red light change into my lane so that they can be first in line when the light turns green (if there’s a car in front of them in their lane), but then they accelerate REALLY SLOWLY so that i’m stuck behind them. UGH! if you’re going to cut in front of me, at least peel out when the light changes so i can still go a normal speed!

    Comment by lara on May 16, 2007
  6. I have no patience for stuff like that. At all. Is it truly a turning lane? Like a “right lane must turn right” thing? Cause that irks me beyond all reason.

    Comment by Sadie on May 16, 2007
  7. I would have hit him. Well, I would have day dreamed of hitting him. And I would have giggled about it. Because I hate people like that.

    Comment by Mrs. Chicky on May 16, 2007
  8. You’re right.

    I get really pissed off when I drive. My biggest complaint is people who won’t get out of the fast lane. I tail-gate them.

    Comment by metro mama on May 16, 2007
  9. Bleah. Traffic.

    Comment by Oh, The Joys on May 16, 2007
  10. I had to laugh at your sequential mood change as I am much the same…I am sorry it’s a mess and hope you can get the motherfuckers outta the wrong way….

    Comment by Princess Extraordinaire on May 16, 2007
  11. I’m totally with you there on the right turn lane issue and UBER with you on kids in the front seat. I don’t care what kind of flack I get for saying this but people who let their kids sit in the front seat unbelted don’t love them. And don’t deserve to be parents. And should go to jail. I know it’s none of my business but I seriously RAGE when I see this and I can barely stop myself from getting out of my car and asskicking the fucknuts who allow this… like why don’t they just throw their kid right through the windshield themselves? They might as well.

    Whew…Gawd, did I ever get all worked up there.

    Comment by Jasmine on May 16, 2007
  12. Me again…

    And I used to be a total bird flipper, but no more. Never. Not ever. One time I did it to a guy in a van who was tailgating me. He didn’t like that and pulled out in front of me. And stopped. He got out…along with four of his friends and proceeded to jump on, pound on, and shake the living crap of my car… and the crap out of me for that matter. It’s not worth it to freak out at a potential homocidal maniac.

    Comment by Jasmine on May 16, 2007
  13. I can’t bird flip — my boys watch, and repeat.

    Comment by SusieJ on May 16, 2007
  14. I, too, have no patience with drivers like that. The only thing that stops me from forever honking my honk is my 4-year old who would say, “Daddy, be patient or I’ll put you in time out.”



    Comment by Mike on May 16, 2007
  15. As a new driver, with a slight case of road rage, I would probably just drive up the back of him


    Comment by LaLa on May 17, 2007
  16. I have the same issue! My gym is right next to a mall, so all the parking is shared. Don’t worry I completely understand about not wanting to walk all the way to a park! lol. You’ll be tired after the gym and not want to walk that far.

    Comment by Bronnie on May 17, 2007
  17. I firmly believe that if I were to ever have an aneurysm, it would be because the asshat in front of me in the left lane is driving 20 below the speed limit. Or because someone pulled out in front of me on a one-lane road causing me to either slam on my brakes or slow down considerably, and I look in the rearview and there is no one behind me. Grrr.

    Comment by Diapering Madwomab on May 18, 2007
  18. Personally, I think you should have a Louisville Slugger in the passenger seat so the next time this happens you can put your car in park, take lil Slugger for a short walk to the jerk in the wrong lane, and start beating his car to death. Start with the tail lights as you walk past, when you get to the rear door you’ll generally be able to take the side mirror out with an overhead ax swing (that’ll also keep the driver from getting out), bring it down on the roof as you pass the driver’s door, then take out the headlights. At this point you should have the driver’s attention. Use Lil Slugger to point to the “Right Turn Only” sign as you shout expletives about his intelligence and breeding.

    In other words, no, I don’t think you’re reactions are too harsh. 🙂

    Or maybe I’m just jaded by L.A. traffic.

    Comment by Sean on May 18, 2007
  19. I don't get why you don't dpiesse feminists. I do. They didn't do anything, but destroy so many families. I'm Romanian. We didn't have feminism here and women got full civil rights in the middle of the second half of the 19th century(in the same time as men) and political rights in between the two world wars. They destroyed motherhood and femininity. They make up false statistics. They're just the multiculturalism's retarded sister as a manifestation of cultural Marxism. They have the same principles in their ideology and they follow the same patterns.

    Comment by Mimou on February 11, 2012

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