let’s just say for the sake of saying that you know someone who kinda sorta maybe has some eating issues.

and this person who you know is afraid of certain foods…that they might…you know poison her or give her salmonella or botulism (although i think this is for babies, right? from honey? come on…we all saw that ER episode) or e.coli.

this person washes her veggies with

and cleans her kitchen counters with

and is a big fan of

and smells her milk every time she opens and it and absolutely, under no circumstances, will she drink said milk on the expiration date. she also will not finish a container of milk…because someone about the bottom of the container just doesn’t feel right.

so…let’s say that this person bought a little single serving sized container of cream cheese. from a metal container on the counter of the cafeteria at work. and this metal container was NOT refrigerated. it was just sitting out on the counter. and the little package of cream cheese was not even remotely cold. or even cool, for that matter.

now, this girl that you know is a smart cookie. she didn’t even need to read the giant red label that said ‘keep refrigerated’ to know that cream cheese belongs in the fridge. it’s a dairy product. and one that spoils quickly.

what’s the consensus? safe to eat? or not safe to eat?

and what do you think that i that she did?

don’t forget to vote!!

 

American Idol snarking is back, baby!!

Latin night was seriously lame, y’all. seriously…stay away from Gloria Estefan….for the sake of all that’s holy in this world…and in this competition. surely there are other Latin artists…no? no one sang “she bangs” – i would have LOVED to have seen that. William Hung instead of JLo. he. also…no “taco flavored kisses”? that’s the best Latin song around.

the good:

Blake sings “i need to know” mmm. Blake. he’s truly the only one with the entire package. decent voice. decent looks. decent moves. totally marketable. i’m thinking he should win.

Jordin sings “rhythm is gonna get you” or maybe she should win. she needs a little bit more life. but otherwise…she’s awesome.

Melinda sings “Sway” i really love this song…and adore the way she sings. she just looks soooo darn old to me.

the meh:

Chris sings “Smooth” not as nasal as usual; also not as good as usual.

Lakisha sings “Conga” while i appreciate Lakisha going out of her comfort zone (and her comfort clothing…seriously…i love the girl but she was doing all kinds of busting out of the back of that dress)…but i prefer her belting out with her big ‘ole voice than dancing around.

Sanjaya sings “besame mucho” if we let you bring the mohawk back, will you please shave that scruff off your face? it totally skeeves me out. his voice was almost enjoyable. did i seriously just write that?????

the bad:

Haley sings “turn the beat around” buh bye, Haley. it’s been swell staring at your shiny face and long legs. the see-through shirts and the hot pants will only get you so far “at this stage in the competition” (this is where everyone takes a shot….AI drinking game, anyone?)

Phil sings “Maria, Maria” crackity, crack, crack. the little simon cow quip was not enough to keep you and your dopey ears in. your days are numbered my friend. at least there was no bizarro-sweat this week.