January 13 10

With the exception of the first year of each of their lives (YES! My babies were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks!), my children do not like to sleep. None of them. On any given midnight, I can find Joshua up reading books or Emily up making friendship bracelets or playing Words with Friends. And now, Isabella has joined the insomnia party. Fantastic. She fights going to sleep every.single.night. She comes in and out of her room at least 87 times requesting more drinks and to use my potty and to have her toenails cut. And then she’s up all night. 1am. 2am. 3am.

And this isn’t the first time she’s done this either.

And back then, it turned out there was a humpty dumpty situation. YES. My child was afraid of humpty dumpty. So, clearly I should have known that these past few days of the repetitive

“My hallway is scary.”

“There are monsters in my bathroom.”

“Take all the dolls out of my room.”

at bedtime should have sent some sort of signal to my overtired pea brain.

Finally, I decided to investigate.

I mean sure, it looks like a harmless bathroom, doesn’t it?

Nothing to be afraid of, right?

Until I discovered two things.

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


Now, I cannot be 100% certain it is THIS doll, because there are about 15 living in the closet near her bathroom. But one of them, I shit you not, TALKS TO YOU WHEN YOU WALK BY THE CLOSET OH MY GOD. Seriously, I wish I was kidding here. When you walk past the closet, something sets it off and it starts making noises. And since there must be a battery dying in it (fingers crossed), the sound is very slow and, well, demonic sounding. Cue the paranormal music now.

Now, I also cannot be certain that Isabella – Or I, for that matter – will ever sleep again.

  1. What ever happend to NON TALKING cabbage patch dolls? Those are the best. Poor baby. And yes that ceramic is pretty demonic if you ask me. check your mezuzot!
    .-= Maya´s last blog ..A Typical Night at Grandma’s =-.

    Comment by Maya on January 13, 2010
  2. I’m so glad to have boys!! Never had to deal with dolls and disliked them as a child!! If I ever find a way to make my boys go to bed on time I’ll share the secret!! My boys don’t sleep either!

    Comment by Francis Anderson on January 13, 2010
  3. *shudder*

    what IS exhibit A? where is it? painted on a wall? it’s so Blair Witch. Gah!

    Comment by Karen Sugarpants on January 13, 2010
  4. it’s actually a framed painting hanging on the wall.

    Well, it was. It’s not longer hanging anywhere in Isabella’s room. heh!

    Comment by ali on January 13, 2010
  5. The ONLY thing that would have been worse is if the doll had been a clown….AHHHHH!

    Comment by Sunday Stilwell on January 13, 2010
  6. Why must the dolls talk? We walked past an aisle of dolls in Target the other day and no less than 35 little voices were activated calling after us. Um, no thank you.

    Comment by Mama Bub on January 13, 2010
  7. Holy crap, Exhibit A is going to give ME nightmares!

    I laugh every night when I see your children playing Words with Friends and I realize it’s an hour later where they are!

    Comment by Kristabella on January 13, 2010
  8. Holy Crap on Exhibit A. That’s horrifying!

    Comment by MBonn on January 13, 2010
  9. Um, yeah, I’m going to have to agree with everyone that Exhibit A is particularly terrifying.

    Now, my thing as a teen was to fall asleep with music on so my room wasn’t too quiet (I still have that issue). I put on one of my favorite CDs, only to wake to the last bars of the last song playing. It was the tail-end of a music box playing out (the wind-up kind) where the notes just slow down until nothing. That sound STILL creeps me out.

    Comment by Darcey on January 13, 2010
  10. Exhibit A = highly disturbing
    Exhibit B = equally disturbing

    My 8 year old is a dream at bedtime-he just closes his eyes and falls asleep. It could be broad daylight out and he’ll still just go to sleep. My 6 year old on the other hand is not interested in sleep. Not one bit. Sometimes he listens to music and when I think he’s asleep I turn it off and he’ll bolt upright and scare the crap out of me. That happens more often than it should. He’ll need a drink, a bathroom break, a vitamin, a story, a snuggle on and on and on…
    .-= Lesley´s last blog ..My couch needs a facelift =-.

    Comment by Lesley on January 13, 2010
  11. Holay shite…

    Exhibit B is not as creepy to me, but the talking doll would be very creepy. VERY creepy…

    I do howeve,r have my out bit of freakiness for things. I have an aligator doll that, while very sentimental because I was given it while I was in the NICU after being born (for TWO WEEKS, people), creeped me out. It’s got those eyes, that are so white that even int eh dark, you can see ’em. And I know that it’sa thing with teeth, so that did not help any. I’m talking scared shitless into my teens here.

    Comment by Mari on January 13, 2010
  12. Oh, I HATE when batteries are dying in toys. They always go off randomly and freak the shit out of me.
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..The Year Of Inherent Radness =-.

    Comment by Angella on January 13, 2010
  13. Um, Exhibit A? WTF is that? It looks like those skeletal dinosaur things that you can jump on in Super Mario Bros., but come back to life a few seconds later.

    Why yes, I do play too much Super Mario Bros. What makes you think that?

    Comment by mamatulip on January 14, 2010
  14. OMG! Exhibit A made ME jump a little!

    Last week, my kids found this old dancing hamster thing I used to have back in college – it sang (in a little squeaky voice) a Fatboy Slim song. And since it has the original batteries in it still, it started to die almost immediately after they started playing with it – except it would waver between squeaky “Right about now!” and then low, demonic possession, scary, “The funk soul brother!” It freaked us all out. Ha!

    Comment by Laura on January 14, 2010
  15. We had gotten my oldest a talking big bird when she was very little. It used to start talking in her room when nobody was in there. * I * was scared to death of the thing, lol. Then I actually debated getting rid of it because I didn’t want it coming back for me, lol. I finally sold it on ebay, figured that was a happy medium 🙂

    Yes, Exhibit A is pretty scary looking!

    Comment by Ginny on January 18, 2010
  16. We had that same Big Bird!! It was a “peek-a-boo” doll, and it would randomly say “I seeee you.” E-V-I-L!

    Comment by Beth Ann on January 20, 2010

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