i was all set to hit publish on the thursday thirteen that i worked really hard on last night while i almost died of heat exhaustion.

(can someone tell my husband that it’s time to turn on the air conditioning? we all have things that we do because our parents do them. try as we might to convince ourselves that we are nothing like our parents…there are just things that stick. for me, i’m a chronic overcooker. i always make too much food. also known as ‘jewish mother syndrome’. the husband’s is that he waits for-fucking-ever to turn on the a/c in the spring. at least i’m not pregnant. imagine how much fun that spring was…)

but, i decided to hold off. i love doing the thurdsay thirteen and it’s a chance to do something different…and maybe give my readers a chance to read something different. some of you might not always like hearing about my son’s fart humor and my daughter’s mullet.

but i have breaking news.

i joined Softball.

oh yeah, baby. are you dying yet? boom chicka wow wow

i don’t know. something about it seemed appealing to me. granted, i haven’t even lifted a baseball bat since 1996. if you’re doing the math, that was over 10 years ago, when i was in high school and i played intramural. and granted, i know very few people at  [insert company name here]. and granted, i only know about half of the rules (did you know you are not allowed to touch the wood at home plate? who knew?)

but i wanted to join. i’m always complaining that the husband plays hockey and baseball and various other organized sports. and i don’t really have anything. that’s just mine. and i figured it would be a good opportunity to meet people. someone at the office once told me that people thought i was “icy” and that kind of stung. i’m not icy. i’m just…i don’t know…shy maybe? that’s not it either…but i guess i could see where he was coming from.

so. green team it was. and i figured, at the very least, i’d have an embarrassing story to tell the internets.

but, it wasn’t embarrassing. sure, i look like a dumbass out there on the field…and i banked on the fact that my new best friend Jared would play both his position and mine, which he did, because he rocks my socks. (speaking of socks…i think i need to get me some knee highs…) and sure, i did a lot of swinging at the air…

but all four times i was up to bat…i made contact. and got on base three of the four times. (the fourth was an out at first). not bad, my friends. not bad.

and my team won. because of me. well, not really. but there were 2 outs and i was up. figures. no pressure, right? i hit the ball, barely. and someone dropped it right before i hit first base. and then some big man fell on me. and then my lulus turned an awful shade of dirt. but, during all that chaos, the winning run was able to score.

i will definitely be back next week. even if it only gives me an embarrassing story to tell 😉