We at Casa de Martell have been arguing about the movie Blood Diamond. It’s not what you think…we both thought – with the exception of the last ten minutes – that the movie was pretty well done. We have been arguing about Mr. diCaprio’s South African accent. the husband says it’s crap. i say it’s pretty decent. he says, “he keeps losing it” i say “it’s a pleasure to see a movie that doesn’t use a generic UK accent for any movie taking place outside of the US (anyone see Rome? surely they didn’t speak with UK accents in those days…)” he says “he uses to many eh, bra’s” i say, “i thought they were a nice touch.”
anyway, it got me thinking about other questionable accents in movies. and for the record, in case you wondering, one of the best accents i’ve seen is Hugh Laurie’s accent on House. It fantastic (and yes, not a movie, i realize)
1. Sean Connery – The Hunt for Red October. Sean Connery does one accent. he’s Scottish in The Untouchables (Irish). He’s Scottish in The Highlander (Egyptian) and he’s – surprise, surprise – Scottish in Red October (Russian). but he’s Sean Connery, so we grant him a little latitude.
2. Tom Cruise – Far and Away. Top o’ the morning, he might want to stick to the couch jumping.
3. Dick Van Dyke – Mary Poppins
4. Don Cheadle – Ocean’s Eleven. Don does Dick Van Dyke doing Mary Poppins. worst. cockney. ever.
5. Al Pacino – Scarface. say hello to a really shitty accent.
6. Julia Roberts – Mary Reilly. she was supposed to be Irish, but came across more like a British woman who spent too much time on the bayou.
7. Jude Law – I Heart Huckabees. now i heart Jude Law and i’d let him talk dirty to me with his crappy american accent any day…but it was incredibly distracting to watch. more than his attempt at a Southern accent in All the King’s Men.
8. Ewan McGregor – Big Fish. See #7. he can talk dirty to me in his slow southern drawl, but hot damn it was bad. which is a shame because his Scottish accent makes me weak in the knees.
9. Nicholas Cage – Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. and Con Air. There are no words. just. none.
10. Angelina Jolie – Alexander. yikes. she looks hot. but i don’t even know what she was trying to speak? Russian accent?
11. Keanu Reeves – Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Keanu Reeves IS Ted. or is it Bill? I’m not sure. but either way, he’s a surfer dude. he belongs nowhere near Bram Stoker’s anything. “I know Kung Fu!” is pretty much where his range ends…
12. James Van Der Beek – Varsity Blues. i don’t want your life. or your southern acccent.
13. Kevin Costner – Thirteen Days and JFK. might be the worst Boston accent ever.
bonus bad accenting at its worst:
Drew Barrymore – Ever After. as if that movie wasn’t bad enough…
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