I love games. Not so much in the sit-beside-your-friend-with-your-joysticks-out type of gaming. Although, if you take me back to the original NES and plop me in front of the original Super Mario Bros. or Zelda, I could go to town, and totally kick your ass. I’m old school like that. (Speaking of old school, do they even call them joysticks anymore?) I would rather battle without the television set. These days, I’m all about geeking out.
It’s true. There’s really nothing I’d rather play than some variation of Settlers of Catan. But, you can challenge me to Scrabble, Scattergories, Balderdash, Monopoly, Risk, Apples to Apples, or Clue, and I’ll have the game set up and ready to go before I have even accepted the challenge. I like games, and I fancy myself to be pretty good at them.
READ: I do not like to lose.
I don’t like it, even though I do, in fact, lose sometimes. And yet…I still keep coming back. I truly believe it makes me a worthy opponent. Or something.
So, you can imagine my surprise when during a day-long editorial team meeting a board game was pulled out after lunch. and not just any board game, a pop culture board game, Cranium Pop 5. Huzzah, I said, I have got this in the bag. Only, you guys, it was like MY BRAIN QUITE LITERALLY SHUT DOWN. I couldn’t do anything.
The category was fashion and my lovely teammate Alicia was making a sandal out of purple play-doh and I’m shouting out “sandal! thong! flip flop! shoe! foot!” and no dice. The answer? Birkenstocks. Okay, I thought, that was nearly impossible, we’ll get them on the next one. Only my next one was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the TV show. A SHOW WHICH I HAVE NEVER SEEN. So, I rolled the dice and thought I’d use the letters to come up with words to give as clues. My mind went blank. Who the heck is even on that show? What is it even about? What network was it on? Blank. So, here are the clue I gave: Luke Perry. Uh huh. Well, he was in the movie.
And then. This was the very worst part. You guys, it’s almost more embarrassing that the “Sweet the Lick” story.
Which, for those of you who are new around here, I will retell, just for the shits and giggles. We were watching The Karate Kid many eons ago with some good friends and I pretty well annoyed everyone around me by quoting the lines before they actually were delivered. As we neared the end and we were getting to some good material – Johnny, you’re a creampuff! – I asked of my friends, “Sweet the lick? What in the world is sweeting the lick? Is that some weird Karate move that I don’t know about?” And after everyone stopped guffawing, Mike turns to me and says, “Um, Ali, it’s ‘sweep the leg’ not ‘sweet the lick.'” Cue some more guffawing mixed withÂ maniacal laughter and hysteria. That was a new low for me.
Until Friday, that is.
The category was BAND. And poor Alicia gets up to do charades, pretty well the one game I am completely unfamiliar with. So, she holds up 4 fingers and I’m all, Yay, it’s four words! Whee! I can do this! And then she holds up her first finger, and I’m still all confident, YES! First word! She’s trying to get me to guess the first word! And then she grabs her ear and I’m shouting like a fool “Hear! Ear! Listen! Music!” and everyone is laughing and then it clicks.
And I get the first word fairly easily. She pats her head and I get to Red. The first word is Red. We are a quarter of the way there. I can do this. And then she does the third word. “Shiver! Cold! Freezing! Shaking! Shivering! North Pole! Winter! Snow!” And then we are running out of time, so she quickly switches to the second word, which I get fairly easily. Hot.
So, here I’m thinking what band is Red Hot ____ ______.
And you guys, I couldn’t get it. Are you dying yet? My mind just couldn’t wrap my head around it, until just before the buzzer went off and it finally clicked. I am NEVER going to live this one down. I felt like those people on Wheel of Fortune must feel. We are all watching the TV and are like, YOU ARE SUCH A MORON! THE ANSWER IS SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS! IT’S SO EASY! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SEE IT?
Well, to this I tell you all…pressure is Â bitch. A bitch who apparently has never heard ‘Under the Bridge.”