About nine hours ago. (from when I first started writing the post…um, 7:17ish)

If you are playing at home, about 9 hours ago, was, well, just after 10am.

It was at this time that drove around the urbanmoms.ca office looking for a parking spot. The driveways, if any, are narrow. The streets have all sorts of rules. No parking before ten. No parking on certain sides of the street. No parking after 12:01 am. There are lots of signs everywhere. And I? I am an obeyer of signs. Thus the 15 minutes of circling. A suburban girl have no business trying to park a minivan in the city. I am just saying.

So, I finally found a spot that was going to work. I got out. I checked the back of my van. I checked the front of my van. CLEAR. Whew. And then, the woman appeared. She has full-on stink FACE; stink eye was not sufficient for her.

“YOUR CAR IS BLOCKING MY DRIVEWAY.”

No, lady, actually, it is not. Not even a little bit.

“YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO MOVE YOUR CAR.”

Like hell I am.

“YOU CAN PARK OVER THERE, WHERE THERE’S TONS OF ROOM.”

Holy hell, I’m not caffeinated enough to start a war with a geriatric who probably shouldn’t still have a license anyway.

I moved my car, while flashing her my best stink face. And she watched. From her front porch. To make sure I was doing as I was instructed.

I may have flipped her the bird as I walked away.

(But, you can’t prove it.)

When I got back to my car at 3pm, I discovered THIS:

Well, SHIT.

So, there are a few things wrong here. Firstly, PARK LONGER THAN THREE (3) HOURS is not a rule that has any signage at all. Anywhere. It’s one of those laws that when you look it up, it’s listed under “parking laws that don’t require any signage.” Oh, you think I’m making this up. I assure you, I am not. It’s a law that I just should know.

I probably need to enroll in Parker’s Ed.

Now, my silly parking ignorance aside, there is something we should note here. The timestamp on the ticket. It’s 10:10am. Remember my tweet? The one about the bathrobed stink-faced lady giving me the third degree about where my car was parked? Well, that all went down minute before.

She totally called the Parking Police on me.

Because I may have flipped her the bird as I walked away.

(But, you can’t prove it.)