August 6 09

Emily loves the park.


for exactly 38 seconds.


and then she gets too hot and too bored and too tired and too hungry and too hot and too thirsty and swings are for babies and Josh and Bella are embarrassing her.

It’s not just the park, either. She had the same reaction to the ZooAtlanta and the Toronto Science Centre and the Imagine It children’s museum. Complaints mixed with a dash of folded arms and angsty looks.

See…this is the problem with 8 going on 18. The things she *wants* to do…like go shopping and secretly watch episodes of the OC and America’s Next Top Model on the dvr when I’m not home and gossiping and putting on lip gloss and watching Wizards of Waverly Place and talking about Joe’s breakup with Camilla and getting her nails done and doing the Hoedown Throwdown and emailing her friends back home and ironing her hair ARE NOT age appropriate for her siblings, who are respectively 6 and 4. Heck, most of those activities are not even age appropriate for 8.

But, it’s my fault really. She has always been an old soul. I had her when I was still an infant, just shy of 23. She and I watched Regis and Kelly and soaps, not Elmo and Barney. She and I listened to emo rock, not DJ Lance Rock. She and I went to the mall, not to the park. Very few of my friends had kids, so Emily became very mature, very quickly. It wasn’t until Joshie came around that I had that I had that holy shit moment; that one where I’m all ZOMG! I am a MOTHER! I have CHILDREN. I better put on some fucking Blue’s Clues and sign up for some Mommy and Me classes and take my kids to the park and the zoo!

But I kind of HATE the park.

And I kind of hate the zoo too.

there’s the rub, it seems. I guess it wasn’t only the Jewish pulkes I passed down to her.


If you want more of me, and I know you do, you can find me over here at Aiming Low on u (still in shock that they want me to write for them…so please BE KIND) and you can find me over here at Juice, as always.

  1. Haha. I love the pic of her sitting on the swing. Life is not faaaaaair! Mom you are embarassing meee! If it is any comfort I remember having a friend when I was younger who was really into gossip, boys, pranks, oh my! She turned out fine. Sounds like you at least have a partner in misery when you go to the park, and the 2 of you can have mutual crushes on Robert Pattinson..wait…is that creepy?

    Comment by Jen on August 6, 2009
  2. That second pic is priceless!

    Comment by Steph on August 6, 2009
  3. That ‘after’ photo is the personification of how I feel every time we head to the park. Every time. The closer we get, the more slooped my shoulders become. She’s a girl after my own heart. If she could chatter some Young and The Resteless with me, she’d be a girl after my own heart, even if I have to remind her Joe is mine!
    .-= fadkog´s last blog ..…and then i wondered if my coworker thinks i’m as old as his mom =-.

    Comment by fadkog on August 6, 2009
  4. Swinging is only fun for about 30 seconds.

    I like the zoo, but our zoo here is basically just a glorified farm. And I also don’t mind taking our kids to the park, but that usually just asks for trouble, with 3 kids 5 and under someone is either going to get hurt or lost or start to cry over something. Which means this year, HAS BEEN A BLAST.

    Comment by C @ Kid Things on August 6, 2009
  5. OMG, that second picture is priceless! AND SO EMILY!

    She is an old soul. You are not kidding when you say she’s 8 going on 18. She really is.

    Also, those shoes look familiar.

    Comment by Kristabella on August 6, 2009
  6. At LEAST Wizards of Waverly Place is somewhat entertaining.

    The fact that they show that Hoedown Throwdown and Demi Lavato video every.single.break?

    Not so much.

    More Waverly and less Demi is what I say!

    Comment by Amanda on August 6, 2009
  7. The family that I nannied for/lived with off and on all through college and still see regularly is the same way. (Coincidentally named) Emily is 13; I’m 23. We’re the same. She’s always been that way- her mom was 21 whens she had her. It wasn’t even weird when she was finally a SCARY TEENAGER because she’s always been one. Honestly I hope my (someday) daughter is just the same! I bet you guys will be close when she gets older.

    Comment by Chris on August 6, 2009
  8. I am the same way. The idea of the park, zoo, beach, a picnic, whatever… is exciting. Until I get out there and it’s too hot, too humid, too sunny, etc…

    Comment by Darcey on August 6, 2009
  9. She is just like Jessica… she’s 11 though.

    Comment by Rayli on August 6, 2009
  10. One of my best friends this summer is 17; I’m 23. And 90% of the time, you wouldn’t know there was an age difference because she’s just incredibly mature for her age. The thing is though, sometimes I feel guilty when she hangs out with me, like she should be hanging out with people her own age and discussing college and squealing about boys. Instead she hangs out with me, a jaded married woman; I feel like sometimes I’m ruining the end of the movie for her, instead of letting her figure it out for herself.
    I don’t know where all that came from. What I was trying to say is, you have a cute daughter.

    Comment by MonsteRawr on August 6, 2009
  11. Would Emily be interested in having her very own set of The O.C. Season 1 DVDs?

    Comment by Rhi on August 6, 2009
  12. I really love this post Ali. And one day if I have my accident baby, I know SHE will be just like Emily. Because SHE has to be a girl.

    Comment by slynnro on August 6, 2009
  13. It’s like Gilmore Girls! Lorelai and Rory.

    Comment by Kaleigha on August 6, 2009
  14. Yup, my firstborn is my fellow-mallrat, and my Starbucks buddy.
    He’ll watch FoodTV with me all day. An old soul that one. 🙂
    I love that second picture. What a contrast to the first.

    And ps – I love Wizards of Waverly Place. So funny!

    Comment by Nenette on August 6, 2009
  15. Isn’t 8 old enough for her to sit home and watch Springer while you take the little ones out?

    Comment by Avitable on August 6, 2009
  16. Kids should come with remotes. Pause, and rewind, and so on and so forth. Heck, I should come with a remote. Cept Sheldon would probably put me on mute.
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..thsi post is so boring I can’t even think of a title…. =-.

    Comment by Katie on August 6, 2009
  17. Oh wait… it gets better as they hit their teen years!

    Comment by Joanie M on August 6, 2009
  18. That second photo of her is CLASSIC.

    Comment by Angella on August 6, 2009
  19. I love the internet. Because just when I feel like I’m failing as a mother (because of things like hating the park) I find out it’s normal to not like the park. My kiddo is an old soul too BUT she could spend on the slide. Rain or shine. Thankfully, she likes going to the mall just as much.
    .-= agentninety9´s last blog ..My inner critic needs a gag order. =-.

    Comment by agentninety9 on August 7, 2009
  20. Yeah. I could have written this post about me and Julia. I hate the park and the zoo (which I am going to on Monday, the day that it’s supposed to be forty fucking degrees out. I think I’ll just die there).

    Comment by mamatulip on August 7, 2009
  21. This pretty much sums up every day for me. Just like my daughter! Arrrgh.

    Comment by Lena on August 7, 2009
  22. yup, the closest thing my firstborn got to playgroup was starbucks at teatime…i hear you. reminds me of my girl and she’s 4. yikes.
    .-= amreen´s last blog ..Blueberry Muffins on a Rainy Day =-.

    Comment by amreen on August 7, 2009
  23. She’s too cool, the pics said thousands of words :). And I was talking to my boy about the whole Joe/Camilla/Robert Pattison thing because I’m mature that way.

    We’ll do the park thing but only grudgingly, so I feel your pain.

    Comment by Karen MEG on August 8, 2009
  24. She looks just like MY 8 year old, but mine would be crying. Because, obviously.

    Comment by Aunt Becky on August 8, 2009
  25. My almost 8 yo is exactly the same way because we did exactly the same things you guys did when when was a baby. Have to say though, I do love having a mini-me. I never have to guess what she will or will not like!

    Comment by The Stiletto Mom on August 9, 2009
  26. Those pictures are HILARIOUS together. Classic, Ali — CLASSIC.

    Congrats on Aiming Low. I LOVE Anissa!!

    Comment by Haley-O on August 9, 2009
  27. The idea of the park, zoo, beach, a picnic, whatever… is exciting. Until I get out there and it’s too hot, too humid, too sunny, etc…

    Comment by Bow Ties on October 10, 2009

Allowed tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>