Firstly – before I update you on all that’s happened in the last week or so (visits from family! Betty Draper-esque try-ons! mcTato trips to east jesus, nowhere, New Brusnwick (canada, not New Jersey)! my shitty luck on plane trips, including vomiting children and elderly women with THE PLAGUE!) and what is about to happen (the husband leaves for another 13-day stint to Toronto! trip to my mom’s for rosh hashanah! a muzzle attached to Emily’s face to get her to just stop talking for onemothereffingsecond of her life!)  – I suppose I should update you all on the status o’ the puppy, because, seriously, you guys have been the most amazing support system a prone-tp-panic-attacks, scared shitless, first-time pet owner could ever ask for.

THANKS.

THANKS.

THANKS.

I wish I could hug you all in person.

Indiana swallowed three feminine hygiene products and may or may not have eaten one of my sister’s thongs (it has yet to be found) (I am just letting you know, it’s too soon to make a toxic shock syndrome joke) and these things were so badly lodged in his body that he required surgery and when they were inside, they found that his small intestine was more damaged than they’d thought or than they’d liked and ended up removing a large chunk of it. He came out of the surgery okay, and the vets were all hopeful that he’d be okay.

He is home now, with less intestine and more cone wrapped around his head.

Yes, it’s as pathetic as it looks.

Really.

He is on a boiled chicken and white rice diet, but has yet to eat any of it. or drink any water. or even take his pain meds. or pee. or poop. or pretty much do anything other than lie pathetically on the floor.

(I take it back, he did manage to muster enough energy to vomit a little bit in the husband’s baseball hat)

We are hopeful that he’s going to turn a corner and be more like his swashbuckling namesake soon. HE JUST HAS TO. I am REALLY worried. And really worried about having to deal with this – plus the three kids – all on my own for the next 2 weeks.

I guess I should have asked Kirk Cameron to pray for him when I stalked him with my iphone camera saw him on the airport train at ATL….