May 1 07

recently, i bumped into a friend that i hadn’t seen in ages. probably, guessing by the size of her stomach, roughly 6 or 7 months.

while staring straight at her belly, the first thing out of my mouth, because i’m ever-so-classy was:

“Wow. apparently, i haven’t seen you in ages!”



oh, fuck. red alert! not pregnant! not pregnant! i had broken the cardinal rules. never assume that just because a woman has a belly, of any size or shape, that she is pregnant. never assume that just because a woman is wearing a maternity shirt that she’s pregnant. never assume and never comment and certainly don’t point or talk to the stomach in question…that only makes it worse.

“Yeah….well…we decided to go and have another…”

so, apparently, she was pregnant, but also, a little bit deaf. or a little bit slow. or she was just ignoring my comment (which was understandable since she was pregnant with baby #4. i’m sure she’s quite the tuning-out expert!). those few seconds that she kept me hanging were torture.

so…what have a i learned from this little experience?

wait for the possibly pregnant person to bite first. you never know. she could be chubby or bloated or just wearing something that looks maternity. she could have already had the baby and is just waiting for her stomach to un-bloat. (my mother did this once. at gymboree. asked a woman when she was due. while i stood beside her, staring at the newborn in the snap ‘n go. talk about crickets!)

one of my besties, Ilana, went and had herself a delicious baby girl, Jadyn Belle, last week. i haven’t been able to get enough of this child. i think i’ve held her more than her daddy has! (at least that’s what he says…)

if you want to read more about it, i have a lovely little post up over at

  1. Other people’s babies are THE BEST!

    I did that this weekend too. Are we leading parralel lives? I said “Congrats!” to a woman and pointed at her belly. She looked confused at first and I thought I woudl die right there. Thank God I had a shot of vodka in my hand.

    Comment by Chantal on May 1, 2007
  2. Ha! That’s funny. When people used to ask me when I was due…I’d say ‘I’m not pregnant’…Oh the fun in watching them squirm…Then, I’d let them off the hook…after a few crickets…hee hee

    Congrats on the new bestie baby.

    Comment by Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom on May 1, 2007
  3. Well, I made that mistake TWICE! Once I asked this lady who “looked” like she was 6 months pregnant, and she patted her belly and said “oh, this beer belly?” Oh man! Another time was when a new neighbor moved in on our street and I asked her the same question and she replied “oh, I delivered two weeks ago!” YIKES!! Open mouth, insert BIG foot!

    Comment by Waya on May 1, 2007
  4. Oh I love that name! Soooo cute!

    You know, it’s getting ever harder to tell if women are pregnant because of the shirts that we wear now. They’re all cut in a maternity sort of way! Ack!

    Comment by Kristi on May 1, 2007
  5. Just had me some baby fix in our kitchen at work. Little Aiden is 11 wks old and mom is in to do a bit of work since it’s year end here (even though she’s supposed to be taking her year off mat leave!). OOOOOhh .. he is so adorable!
    Baby looks good on you Ali! Sure ya don’t want another?! p.s. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we looked as great as you do in that photo with the babe, 1 week after giving birth lol!!

    Comment by Sarah on May 1, 2007
  6. both my mother-in-law and father-in-law miscongratulated two separate individuals in the past two weeks! i will never open my mouth until i hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. when i was teaching my first year, i was talking to one mother when another came and said to the first, “when are you due?” which was what i was wondering. then the first mom said, “i’m not.”

    Comment by age on May 1, 2007
  7. oh so cute! i love newborns! they’re like little beanie babies! 🙂

    Comment by lara on May 1, 2007
  8. Oooo! I LOVE the name! And, she’s so GorJ! So are you, lady! 🙂

    I definitely learned to let the preggers woman in question bite first, as you put it. I learned this the hard way….From the crickets….

    Comment by Haley-O on May 1, 2007
  9. Eek!

    What a beautiful picture! She is gorgeous! (You are, too, but you know, those babies come first!) 😉

    Comment by Stacie on May 1, 2007
  10. Oh man, I really thought she wasn’t pregnant for a minute. I HATE that feeling.

    Comment by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah on May 1, 2007
  11. I am totally ready to have a baby.
    Of course, we have to wait a couple of years until we can afford a house, and save up for the wedding.
    I already have names picked out.


    Comment by Keri on May 1, 2007
  12. EVERYONE is wearing those poochie maternity shirts these days. I’m just not going to leave my house until the fad ends, because I just know that I’d ask at least 10 women when they were due.
    Cute baby!

    Comment by Rebecca on May 1, 2007
  13. In that small amount of time waiting for the friend to reply I think, if it would have been me, I would have choked on my tongue.

    Comment by Mrs. Chicky on May 1, 2007
  14. don’t ya just hate those moments.

    I get the ‘wow I didn’t recognize you’. And I like to say, ‘I know I’m really fat now’.

    I’m messed up that way.

    Comment by crazymumma on May 1, 2007
  15. My stomach sank for you for a minute there! Thank God she WAS preggo!! I just had a friend ask me a few weeks ago if I was expecting my third and I almost died! I was like, “why do I look it?!” I don’t know if it’s more mortifying to be the one who says it or the one who hears it, ya know?! For the record, it wasn’t because I have a big stomach (although the comment sure didn’t help my feelings of not feeling skinny that morning!) but because literally everybody in her group of friends and even family is preggo with their third, so we are the only couple left that she knows that hasn’t made an announcement and she knows we’re teetering on the fence about having a third. Nonetheless, whatever her motivation was, you never want to be the person people speculate if you’re pregnant or not! She knew once she said it how it all came out – she even called me the next day to undo the damage. 😉

    Comment by Sara on May 2, 2007
  16. I remember being in my best shape ever, at my absolute slimmest and shopping with my friend and personal shopper for a dress for a wedding. I had on this fabulous black dress that made me look positively tiny. My friend, whose little boy was 2 and ten months older than my baby was standing in the dressing room with me. The saleslady came in and said, “That looks fabulous on you” and to my friend, “When are you due?” She quickly responded, “Two years ago, my baby just turned two!” Ouch!

    When I was about 6 months pregnant, I would get, “Any day now?” and when I said, “No, I still have three months to go.”…”Is it twins????” That brought many a tear.

    Unless the person is grunting on a delivery table, ALWAYS ASSUME SHE IS NOT PREGNANT. You can never go wrong saying, “Wow…you look wonderful!!!”

    Comment by Di on May 4, 2007
  17. Ambien prescriptions….

    Ambien prescriptions….

    Trackback by Ambien prescriptions. on February 19, 2008
  18. […] Not unless I see a head coming out! […]

    Pingback by Go Read It Today, Wednesday, May 2, 2007 on May 26, 2008

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