You see this right there?

I’m not 100% sure if you can see what’s happening here, what with the grainy photo and the circus contortionist pose I had to get into to be able to pull my pants out and take the shot, but, well, this is to show you what happens when you lose ten+ pounds.

(No, I’m not looking for sympathy. I promise.)

I made a decision a short while ago that I was going to begin taking care of my body. I was going to stop treating my over-thirty body like it was a spry college student who could binge on beer and fried chicken and then turn around and drop 5 pounds in a day by not eating anything but a handful of Cheerios. With a medical professional sharing alarming words like “high blood pressure” and “you need to exercise” and “watch your salts” I knew I needed to get off of the couch and get moving and I needed to start making better choices about what gets stuffed into my gob. For my heart. You see, I have three short people in my life who want me around for the long haul and don’t want to be sitting in hospital waiting rooms worrying about their mama.

So.

I started ellipticizing. I started taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I stopped drinking Diet Coke. I started eating more fiber and lean meats and veggies and less, um, cocoa puffs and Girl Scout Cookies as meals.

I have honestly never felt this good. In the past few months, I have had significantly fewer panic attacks. I am less bloated. I am chewing fewer and fewer TUMS every day. I feel strong and healthy. I don’t want to sit on the couch all day anymore.

There are, of course, two side effects that I wasn’t expecting. I seem to have all but lost my sweet tooth and I don’t think I’ll be able to wear pants to work anymore. Because, dude, no one likes a saggy bottom. It’s not a good look for anyone, especially someone just shy of 5″2.

It’s going to be dresses and skirts for the rest of the summer. Now if only Mother Nature could get this memo….