Well, the good news is that I spent a lot of my day sitting in an uncomfortable jury chair re-reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn for the first time since my early teens. My book club chose it for April, and I’m so thankful because a couple of hundred pages in and it’s every bit as lovely as I remember. This was *the* book that made me want to become a writer. I can’t wait to finish it and hand it over to my newly minted teenaged daughter.

And the other good news is that sitting all day in a courtroom waiting around to do some more waiting around is the most perfect place to people watch. It’s almost as good as the airport. Or maybe it’s better. From the chain smoker who needed a fix, to the woman having the asthma attack, to the STARER, to the likable lady bus driver who took off her socks and shoes, to the elderly man desperately trying to navigate Facebook, to the adorable lady enthusiastically (and audibly) playing Candy Crush, to the pick-up artist.

And the best news, really, is my new favorite movie—”Jury Duty & You.” It’s the best comedy I have seen in a long time, and I mean, I saw Russell Crowe in Les Miserables. It’s middle school health movies made in the 70s meets, uh, propaganda films? I giggled my way through it, especially every time Construction Worker Jim came on screen to tell us how much he loved being on jury duty and wishes he could spend time on even more juries. “By golly, it’s my civic duty!”

The less-than-good news is that because we accomplished exactly nothing today in the way of jury selection process, we get to return to lather, rinse, repeat next Monday. Because it’s a big one, I guess? It’s a fun-filled 6-week murder trial that 12 of the 200 of us might get to participate in, and you know, be instrumental in deciding the fate of a stranger. So that’s fun. The odds seem ever in my favor, mathematically.

BUT HAVE YOU MET ME?

I am fairly positive at this point that I will be sitting on this jury.

I did consider showing up in a Liz Lemon surefire get-out-of-jury-duty Princess Leia costume, but even though I got the cinnamon bun hairdo down perfectly, the white toga robe wasn’t working for me.

I am, however, considering this for Monday.

It was a last-minute decision to show up at at synagogue for Purim morning properly be-costumed. I really didn’t want to feel left out, but at 8am on a Sunday, adult-sized costume choices aren’t exactly aplenty. I could have tried to stuff myself into a cast-aside Merida costume or, better yet, a small Remy from Ratatouille rat suit. So, makeshift Minnie it was.

My children’s getups were better, of course…American Dream. The Phantom of The Opera. The Peacock (YES, from the Katy Perry song. YES, I know  what it means. But Isabella doesn’t—please don’t shatter her dreams.)

Maybe I’ll wear the Phantom mask on Monday. And the cape.

The phantom of the courtroom is here…inside your mind. 

There’s no way they’d let me near any criminals.