June 16 10

Josh: Wanna know something freaky, Mommy?

Me: Always.

Josh: Well, so, you know how god is invisible AND he’s everywhere?

Me: ….

Josh: Well, so he could be sitting right here next to me in the car. And I wouldn’t even know.

Isabella: Maybe you could hear him breathing. Quick, everyone be really, really quiet. Maybe he’s next to me. OR, maybe he is ON my nose!

Josh: Maybe he is INSIDE your nose, and every time you pick your boogers you are picking little pieces of him.

Isabella: Don’t be gross Josh.

Josh: Hey, Mommy? If god is invisible, how do we know that he is a he?

Me: Maybe he isn’t. Maybe he is Alanis Morissette.

Josh: Who?

Me: Never mind. You were saying?

Josh: Well, my teacher TOLD me to put a beard on him when I was drawing him, so I just assumed he was a man, and not, you know, a bearded lady like in the circus. But, maybe my teacher was wrong and maybe god is a lady.

Isabella: God is a not a man. Or a lady.

Josh: But how do you know?

Isabella: Because I have seen him.

Me: …..

Josh: Wha?

Isabella: Mommy, REMEMBER, he is a scary burny man bush.

Me: *giggles* (she said scary burny man bush)

Isabella: IT IS NOT FUNNY.

Me: I wasn’t laughing at you, babe. Yes, I remember your nightmares.

Isabella: Thanks a lot, Josh. Now I’m going to be afraid all day that a scary bush is in my nose and is going to start talking to me at camp. You are the best brother ever.

Josh: I know, right?

AND…SCENE.

 

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  1. Hey – what kid hasn’t thought this – “Maybe he is INSIDE your nose, and every time you pick your boogers you are picking little pieces of him.

    ROTFL! Awesome.
    The prince of egypt scares me too.

    [Reply]

    Comment by monstergirlee on June 16, 2010
  2. Sometimes I regret our decision to not baptize our kids and raise them Catholic.

    [Reply]

    Comment by SciFi Dad on June 16, 2010
  3. Your kids have way more intellectual conversations than I have most days.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on June 16, 2010
  4. Your kids are as hilarious as mine are. I really do hope we get them all together one day.

    (Josh and Graham are like twins.)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angella on June 16, 2010
  5. ahaha, your children make me giggle. I love their conversations. Maybe they should have their own Disney show.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Katie on June 16, 2010
  6. that is the best kid conversation ever! Glad you documented it appropriately.

    [Reply]

    Comment by designHER Momma on June 16, 2010
  7. I need to visit again.

    [Reply]

    Comment by slynnro on June 16, 2010
  8. I just spit out my cereal at burning man bush.

    [Reply]

    Comment by heather... on June 16, 2010
  9. Apparently I’m going to giggle about burning man bush every damn time I read it or say it in my head.

    Hehe

    [Reply]

    Comment by Pgoodness on June 16, 2010
  10. our conversations usually go as such:

    sissy? God is far too important to find your bunny.

    sissy? God is playing with Thalon and is very disappointed in you being mean to me.

    sissy? God like me better.

    [Reply]

    Comment by gorillabuns on June 16, 2010
  11. Pretty much the best conversation ever. And you’re right – Cristina is a little frightening.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chris on June 17, 2010
  12. Sounds like you need to bust out the old VHS to show them that God has long hair, female, yet strangely androgynous.

    [Reply]

    Comment by MommaCort on June 17, 2010
  13. I asked my mom where the table was in my stomach… since apcparently God lives inside us, and I was very concerned about where he ate dinner.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Brooke on June 17, 2010
  14. [...] in high school. It’s about your first kiss. It’s about you, at 16. It’s about finding God inside of your nose. It’s about bucket lists—someday, but not [...]

    Pingback by » Lifestyle Writing. 2011 is the New 2004. Cheaper Than Therapy on October 4, 2011
  15. [...] It’s also not the first time I name dropped Alanis Morissette to try to avoid answering tough questions. [...]

    Pingback by » Because I Said So and Other Answers to Important Questions. Cheaper Than Therapy on October 20, 2011
  16. I love your kids…I just…love them. I want you all to just come live with me.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on July 19, 2012
  17. Scary burn-y man bush? GOD IS FROM JERSEY SHORE????

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nuala Reilly on July 19, 2012
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