Josh: Wanna know something freaky, Mommy?
Josh: Well, so, you know how god is invisible AND he’s everywhere?
Josh: Well, so he could be sitting right here next to me in the car. And I wouldn’t even know.
Isabella: Maybe you could hear him breathing. Quick, everyone be really, really quiet. Maybe he’s next to me. OR, maybe he is ON my nose!
Josh: Maybe he is INSIDE your nose, and every time you pick your boogers you are picking little pieces of him.
Isabella: Don’t be gross Josh.
Josh: Hey, Mommy? If god is invisible, how do we know that he is a he?
Me: Maybe he isn’t. Maybe he is Alanis Morissette.
Me: Never mind. You were saying?
Josh: Well, my teacher TOLD me to put a beard on him when I was drawing him, so I just assumed he was a man, and not, you know, a bearded lady like in the circus. But, maybe my teacher was wrong and maybe god is a lady.
Isabella: God is a not a man. Or a lady.
Josh: But how do you know?
Isabella: Because I have seen him.
Isabella: Mommy, REMEMBER, he is a scary burny man bush.
Me: *giggles* (she said scary burny man bush)
Isabella: IT IS NOT FUNNY.
Me: I wasn’t laughing at you, babe. Yes, I remember your nightmares.
Isabella: Thanks a lot, Josh. Now I’m going to be afraid all day that a scary bush is in my nose and is going to start talking to me at camp. You are the best brother ever.
Josh: I know, right?