This week I  learned that:

No matter how emotionally draining my girls can be, there’s NOTHING like taking them for their first mani/pedis (even if it means that I am forced to let someone touch my feet. ew)

Emily is not the only new kid in her class. According to her, “There’s a boy in my class who just moved here from North Carolina or Russia. something like that.” Also? the kids both had great first and second days. Miss Emily already got invited to a birthday party and already has numbers of all the new girls she met.

Isabella’s favorite song is “Little Boxes” which I used to love. But now, after listening to it 87 times in a row, I kind of hate and am super glad that it’s not on the intro of Weeds anymore. Also? I still love Weeds, especially when Nancy told Guillermo that having sex with her after having a baby would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

Emily should probably stay away from my dad’s vehicles. First, she broke the handle right off of the Yukon. Right the hell off. and then, um, there was this…

It’s probably best NOT to look through random drawers and cabinets in your parent’s house, because you might just stumble upon the cremains of your Grandpa Lou in the nightstand next to your bed. and then you might not really ever be able to sleep again.

You probably should never dare the Jonas Brothers to do anything…because they either totally won’t do it, or it’ll be lame. You should probably never admit to people that you watched the Teen Choice Awards. on purpose.

It’s probably best to make jokes and laugh when you go and see your horribly Alzheimer’s-striken Grandmother at her nursing home because it’s way better than the depressing alternative.

I am capable of cleaning a toilet, which I did, for the FIRST TIME EVER IN MY LIFE. and now my toilet has blue water and smells all sorts of lovely and I’m just a wee bit too excited about it.

I want to learn to sew so I can make a skirt with this:

which, of course, is not as awesome as HeatherB’s porn skirt, but it’s so perfect for Aiming Low, it’s silly. also? hanging out with these lovely, lovely ladies on a Friday night make me so happy I moved here.

The Atlanta heat mixed with the stress of sitting in the carpool lane makes me sweat in places I really don’t care to share. Also? Jeans and cardigans are not appropriate wear for this kind of heat.

not that there’s anything wrong with this heat. I am enjoying the hell out of it, and I enjoyed the hell out of my trip to Old Navy to buy some flip flops and shorts and tank tops and dresses. I finally have a reason to buy a summer wardrobe. Also? finding a hair growing on my big toe makes me think I might be a mutant. Also? I am sex-ay.

There is still too much flying wiener on OZ, even in season 4, when Mr. Eko has been killed off to go and be on some show called LOST and Luke Perry joins the cast to try to play someone other than Dylan McKay, but totally fails miserably.