June 15 09

Okay, so, I’m going to admit something to you all, and I’m probably going to take a lot of heat for it…because, well, I *know* how people on the internet can get. I have seen the gloves come off and it can get UGLY. and I’m usually a shy-away-from-the-drama type of girl, but, alas, here goes:

I do not, for the life of me, get the Bradley Cooper thing.

There. I said it. I mean, sure, he’d probably be a cool guy to grab a couple of beers with, but, girls, come on, dude looks almost as penis-like as that Shia LeBeauf (Kerri Anne gets a pass here. because I heart her so and she’s pretty dead on with her other interests and hobbies. heh.)

you guys…seriously? seriously?!??!?

bradley-cooper

also? that movie He’s Just Not That Into You? Well, to say that I was just not that into it is me being KIND. wow. that was BAD. really bad. and I’m not just talking about Jennifer Connelly’s caterpillar eyebrows and Justin Long’s inability to pull off the leading man role and Kevin Connolly’s inability to pull off anything other than E on Entourage. and you already know how I feel about Drew Barrymore…

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this morning, sitting on my keyboard was a lovely little lunch mail gift for me.

lunchmail

It says: “Ali, Hope Atlantic (which I can only assume is a typo?) is a fantastic experience”

hrm. this is probably the nicest thing I’ve ever gotten at my desk. oh, with the exception of the time that the husband went with me to a Toronto Film Festival movie premiere gala and picked a fight with me right before the show started and then sent me an entire box of Mrs. Field’s cookies the next day (mmm) but, here’s the rub…I have no idea who left it for me. none. I don’t recognize the handwriting. I can only assume it’s not another editor, because of the typo. but, that’s it…that’s all I’ve got.

A REAL-LIFE MYSTERY!

and who says working in a cubicle is boring?!?

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My dog.

My fucking dog. I mean, I love the little bugger. He charms the pants off of everyone. seriously, how could you not love that face?

indy

He just has one teeny weeny fault: His addiction to eating my shoes and my underwear.

Notice I used the word “MY”

because it’s always mine. I threw out 17 v-strings yesterday and 3 pairs of shoes. 3 pairs of black shoes, staples. some of my favorites. and two of them were mary janes (yes, Casey, people over the age of 5 DO wear mary janes. Jessica Simpson told me so. heh) that he ATE the straps off of. He didn’t just chew a little bit on the heel, like a normal puppy would do. He actually ATE the strap. gone. into the abyss of his cast-iron stomach.

(he also, in addition to my shoes and thongs, ate a silicone pot holder. THE ENTIRE THING. oh, and he loves crayons.)

So, now I have some underwear and some shoes to replace and I should be all YES! LET’S GO SHOE SHOPPING! AND TO VICTORIA’S SECRET! awesome! but, alas, I’m trying to save money. and my dog is certainly not helping. and seriously, whoever said that having a puppy was like having a baby…I can tell them that they are damn wrong..

because none of my babies every ate my clothing and my shoes.

crayons, maybe. but never any shoes.

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  1. oh that hurts. i think he is a hottie! have you seen ‘the hangover’ yet? seriously the funniest movie ever and he does look HOT in it!

    not much longer! hope you are ready for target and chickfila!

    [Reply]

    Comment by sweet cheek's mom on June 15, 2009
  2. I didn’t see He’s Just Not That Into You because it looked dumb… but I’m sorry I do think he’s hot. I think the only thing I’ve seen him in is The Hangover and he was very hot in that. I will admit that he’s a LITTLE too pretty. In real life he might be a lot too pretty… but I still think he’s hot.

    Also– why does someone who doesn’t wear underwear have 17 v-strings? But I’d say this definitely qualifies as required shopping at VS!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lyndsey on June 15, 2009
  3. Lyndsey – I always wear underwear with jeans.
    because, hello, uncomfortable?

    and, I have an obsession with buying 5/$25 v-strings at VS!

    [Reply]

    Comment by ali on June 15, 2009
  4. I can definitely sympathize with you not feeling it for Bradley Cooper – the celeb who does not get my knickers in a knot is Brad Pitt. I KNOW. He just does not do it for me. I’m so sorry about your shoes/delicate lady garments! I would cry.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on June 15, 2009
  5. VS V-strings–I have a question! do you not find they are too high to wear with jeans? I am on the lookout for options!

    Agree with you RE: he’s just not that into you. It was like a bad version of love actually.

    [Reply]

    Comment by NEWMOM on June 15, 2009
  6. Bradley Cooper is my sporadic celebrity climb on. I tend to forget about him until he pops back up in something. However, I see that picture and he looks EXACTLY like my husband’s best friend, the one who stood up for us at our wedding, and now I feel creepy that I even have that random tingly feeling for him.

    fadkogs last blog post..toot, toot, hey, beep, beep

    [Reply]

    Comment by fadkog on June 15, 2009
  7. My dog used to do that when he was a puppy. We got him to stop by keeping him out of various rooms/areas. We’d fill empty soda cans with pennies, and shake one at him a few times. He hated the noise, and wouldn’t go near any cans that were spaced out in front of a doorway or area. You have to make sure you don’t trip on them, but they’re great if you don’t like keeping your door closed or just have one area of a room you want to protect.

    [Reply]

    Comment by tutugirl1345 on June 15, 2009
  8. who the heck is bradley cooper?…your dog eats panties? and your shoes? oh that would drive me crazy.

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on June 15, 2009
  9. Hmmm, I think Bradley Cooper is OK. He kind of looks like Ralph Fiennes. He has his moments where he’s kind of yummy, but overall, just kind of meh. I mean, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.

    Whereas Shia is just fugly and I do not get the attraction ANYONE has to Shia. Yuck.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on June 15, 2009
  10. In the first year I had my dog I threw out two pairs of sneakers, a pair of birkenstocks (that I wore every day in the summer), several shirts, a few pairs of underwear, socks, countless pens, post-its and other really really weird things. He eventually grew out of it (like a year or so later) so I’m hoping yours will too!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Erin on June 15, 2009
  11. Does it come as a shock to you that I love LOVE Bradley Cooper?!? He’s Just Not That Into You was brutal all around bad movie – you’re right about that!

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    Comment by Michelle on June 15, 2009
  12. Well, I don’t wear v-strings, and I don’t have any pets, but I do empathize with you! You sure do tell a funny story – I enjoy reading about your crazy life!

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    Comment by pat on June 15, 2009
  13. I *just* bought the 5/$25 at VS this weekend!

    Diesel hasn’t eaten my underwear (yet), because if he goes near my room he gets what-for.

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    Comment by Angella on June 15, 2009
  14. Bradley has the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. They are amazing. But his teeth are weird and so all is lost.

    Amy @ Milk Breath &s last blog post..Balsamic & Garlic Grilled Chicken with Baked Rum Pineapple

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amy @ Milk Breath & on June 15, 2009
  15. I’m still stuck on the Bradley Cooper…and why are we friends again??

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on June 15, 2009
  16. I am just not that into Bradley Cooper. How he even ficticiously got Scarlet Johannson is beyond my scope of imagination.

    kgirls last blog post..The Good Mother

    [Reply]

    Comment by kgirl on June 15, 2009
  17. I just saw He’s Just Not That Into You and thought it was total crap. I hated pretty much everyone in the movie.

    [Reply]

    Comment by hillary on June 15, 2009
  18. Ugh, the Bradley Cooper ScarJo combo in the movie made me want to puke. I only liked Ginnifer Goodwin and that’s because I love Margene on Big Love.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nic on June 15, 2009
  19. What I don’t get is how your dog gets into your dresser to get your thongs. Or do you have 17 pairs of thongs laying around the house? LOL

    [Reply]

    Comment by cleo on June 15, 2009
  20. How can you not get the Bradley Cooper thing, ye of disgusting crushes?

    slynnros last blog post..Odds and Ends

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    Comment by slynnro on June 15, 2009
  21. That’s a bad picture of Bradley Cooper. This is a good one: http://tinyurl.com/m98d7n

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    Comment by regan on June 15, 2009
  22. Honestly, I turned to my friend in the theatre and said “I must be getting old, because I am attracted to Bradley Cooper & not that Robert Pattison guy from Twilight”. I mean what is with RP’s hair? I think you just like the young ones, you have cougar/cradle-robbing crushes don’t you??? hehe! I did see BC in SNL & was kindof bored by his not-so-funny portrayals but he’s hot hot hot in a slick tux holding a 5 yr old sleeping boy.

    [Reply]

    Comment by NaomiJesson on June 15, 2009
  23. I was really looking into watching “He’s Just Not That Into You”. I guess I can re-arrange my Netflix Queue if it sucks that bad.

    Mollie Hubenaks last blog post..Platelets with Pain

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mollie Hubenak on June 15, 2009
  24. Well, you’re clearly crazy, because I’d fuck Bradley Cooper.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on June 15, 2009
  25. HE GOT THE MARYJANES? Watch your step, puppy. You do not mess with a woman’s shoes. At least not without ending up in some kind of stew. Maybe with curry.

    Mooses last blog post..On the Other Hand, They Could’ve Played a Lot of Harry Potter Conventions

    [Reply]

    Comment by Moose on June 15, 2009
  26. i used to have a dog. he ate my underwear too!!! so gross. it kinda makes you understand the words horn dog.
    And I LOVE mary janes even though i feel like a 5 year old when i wear them. believe it or not a cousin once called them hooker shoes. hooker shoes??? mary janes???

    [Reply]

    Comment by rayli on June 15, 2009
  27. I don’t get the Bradley Cooper thing either. His look just seems so contrived. Also I’ve seen him in a few interviews and he comes across as a real douche.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jill on June 15, 2009
  28. Oh so glad someone else thinks Bradley Cooper looks like a dick! He was totally believable in The Hangover because it was like he was playing himself.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jennifer Collins on June 15, 2009
  29. Don’t they have shoe repair shops in Canada? Obvs I didn’t see the shoes and the extent of the damage. But a shoe repair person would be able to replace a chewed-off strap, no problem.

    Just sayin. If you’re trying to save money.

    karas last blog post..Bounce

    [Reply]

    Comment by kara on June 15, 2009
  30. You were very brave — a woman of conviction — for posting on such a controversial topic. I proudly take your side with a big ole WTF!

    Also – sorry about the shoes…. The joys of puppies!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Haley-O on June 15, 2009
  31. 1) Who is Bradly Cooper? He looks like someone’s creepy molester uncle.

    2) To retaliate against your dog eating your shoes and undies, you should eat something of his.

    [Reply]

    Comment by MonsteRawr on June 16, 2009
  32. Bradley Cooper is FUG! I wouldn’t let him touch my big toe, let alone my vagina.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amanda on June 16, 2009
  33. It’s a sign that your dog has better taste in shoes than you.

    [Reply]

    Comment by moosh in indy. on June 20, 2009
  34. Thanks to this post, I can no longer look at Bradley Cooper without thinking, PENIS! It has got me wondering what it is about him that is penis-like, but despite not knowing, he totally looks like one. What makes someone look like a penis???

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mac & Cheese on September 15, 2009
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