November 25 08

on sunday afternoon, while knee-deep in two of my favorite activities…watching football and purging my house

(yes, the husband and i are in the middle of this clean-out-the-shit project at casa de martell. i am a packrat who wants to be a minimalist. i just have so much STUFF. this sunday’s project was to get rid of all the platters and bowls and crap that we got TEN YEARS AGO as wedding gifts that we have never once used and are ugly as butt. side note: apparently, in may of 1998, apple-themed decor was all the fucking rage because i have thrown out more apple shaped shit than i knew was possible)

and i tripped. on my freaking carpet. and was pretty sure i broke my toe. (again)

and then i laughed.

because my best friend Tova broke her foot last week. and i just pictured the two of us with our broken appendages, sitting on side-by-side couches, watching tv (hello, my god, who is watching True Blood? Can we talk about Sunday’s episode for a minute?!??!) and eating take-out. and while i’m not trying to downplay Tova’s situation

(no way. the poor girl! she’s has to resort to crawling around her house because the crutches are just a pain in the ass. the break was so bad that she’s not allowed to have a weight-bearing cast. also? she has a 3-year-old boy that she can’t chase after. PLEASE send love her way!)

i kind of thought, “sweet! being FORCED to sit on my ass and do nothing for 6 weeks?!?!” because sometimes i’m kind of an asshole. but then i remembered 10 years ago when i actually did break my toe. and while i remember there being a tremendous amount of pain, mostly on my ribs from the fucking crutch handles digging in, i don’t remember there being any sort of sitting around and relaxing and watching tv and eating myself silly.

so, i got up off the floor and went back to throwing away more apple-related paraphernalia. seriously, did you know they make apple vases?? did you know that i received two of said vases as wedding gifts?

have you ever broken any limbs?

well, you know about the toe, which i broke, jumping off my couch. i know, awesome, right? it could have been some great story about how i was fighting off ninjas or something, but no, i’m just a clumsy dork.

when i was 4, and my family went to Disney Land, we were staying with my cousins in LA. it’s funny because i always call them “cousins” but really we aren’t even related at all. we aren’t even close anymore. (but i did hear that my “cousin” also has a daughter called Isabella Rose. weird)

i convinced these obviously not-all-that-smart relatives that i could fly.

because, hello, awesome!

so, up onto the bookshelf i climbed. and flew off. only what the fuck ever, 4 year old girls can’t fly, and i ended up in my “uncle”‘s – he was an orthopedic surgeon (who’s the smart one now? hmm?) – office getting my broken elbow casted. so, of course, every single one of our Disney Land pictures from that year shows awesomeflyingAli with her cast of honor.

(here is the point in the program where i would totally have posted a picture of me from way back then…but alas…i can’t post pictures from work. wordpress is the fucking bane of my existence. i CAN post them at home. on my pc. but not on my laptop. and i can’t post them from work. WHAT? also, Holly emailed me because she was having problems with her 2.6.3 also. and get this…her dashboard? completely different than mine. WHAT?)

  1. I subscribed to HBO last Wed and was caught up with True Blood in time to see the finale on Sunday and now I don’t know what I’m going to do until Season 2.

    And I broke my wrist when I was 5. I was climbing on a swing set in a way that was not how it was meant to be done, and I fell off. Oops!

    Erins last blog post..Vampires Are the New Black


    Comment by Erin on November 25, 2008
  2. I clicked on the photo of the vase. Most definitely one of the uglier pieces I have seen in my time. Who did you invite to your wedding? (JUST KIDDING!)

    I loved the story about trying to fly when you were a kid. I think you and I must share the same brilliance gene because I tried to do the same thing. Still have the scar on my knee as a daily reminder of my childhood genius. :)

    Great finding your blog this morning!


    Three Bay B Chickss last blog post..Take a Leap…Frog


    Comment by Three Bay B Chicks on November 25, 2008
  3. You know, I’ve never broken anything. Which I’m loathe to say because of karma.

    And while I refuse to partake in the Twilight phenomenon, I am watching TrueBlood.

    slynnros last blog post..Ask Sassy Kay: Volume Two


    Comment by slynnro on November 25, 2008
  4. OMG – you have no idea how frustrated I am with the whole image fuffle. ugh.

    I really need to get my hands on True Blood and see what this show is all about.

    Really now? You fly too. Amazing. Ali, you are truly amazing. bwahahaha!

    Hollys last blog post..update


    Comment by Holly on November 25, 2008
  5. I had some rollerblades when I was 14 and the neighborhood kids and I would race. My friend and I went over some speed bumps, she lost her balance and grabbed the back of my shirt. We both feel down and I broke my wrist.

    It’s always nice when the neighborhood kids beat you home to tell your mom that your wrist is broken. It’s even better when your 14 and your nurse looks like Atila the Hun and she gives you a shot of pain meds right in your ass.

    Fun times.


    Comment by Ruby on November 25, 2008
  6. LOVE True Blood so much that I’m reading the books! (Just finished #4 of 7)

    cristans last blog post..What I’ve been reading…


    Comment by cristan on November 25, 2008
  7. So did you really break your toe? Or just hurt it really bad?

    Because if you just hurt it really bad then I’m not doling out any sympathy.

    Rub some dirt on it and get back in the game!

    Matthews last blog post..California Dreamin’


    Comment by Matthew on November 25, 2008
  8. oy .. hope the toe is better! I’m sitting with a mother of an eye infection that is so swollen I can hardly see. But yes, all my broken bones were due to falls off horses. Hmm.. broken shoulder when I was 8, broken cheekbone (4 places!) when I was 21 (horse tripped jumping down into water in a competition ..) and stepped on my head! Oh .. then there is last year, ripped psoas muscle falling off a horse that spooked – (cause I hadn’t ridden in 4 yrs and had NO muscle lol). so I’ve had my fair share!


    Comment by Sarah on November 25, 2008
  9. I love all over the place posts! I’ve never broken anything. Apparently, my husband, who gets to stay at fancy pants Holiday Inns twice a week, has been cheating on me and watching True Blood on the free HBO, which we now get, also for free, for a short time anyway, and he watched the finale. IN FRONT OF ME! I have to hunt this show down. Oh, and when we moved into our house, the kitchen walls were stenciled all over with apples. Sadly, it took us four years to finally paint. I’m kinda lazy. Please come throw out my house, too, k?

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..that whole mama bear instinct? yeah. totally true.


    Comment by differentkindofgirl on November 25, 2008
  10. No broken bones – ever. *furiously knocking on wood right now*

    TrenchesofMommyhoods last blog post..What The???? (Yet Another Proud Parenting Moment From the Trenches)


    Comment by TrenchesofMommyhood on November 25, 2008
  11. I broke my arm once when my babysitter left me on the monkey bars to answer the phone.

    I never really liked that babysitter, come to think of it.

    Sarahs last blog post..It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year


    Comment by Sarah on November 25, 2008
  12. You want to talk klutzy? I have broken my leg, 5 bones in my foot, my ankle and a finger. Plus I’ve had stitches twice. Accident prone, I has it.

    Also, that’s weird you’re having so many problems with WP. The only difference from 2.6.2 to 2.6.3 for me was that I can’t use the Flash uploader thing for photos and now have to use the browser uploader. Which is easier anyway.

    Also, WordPress should have never changed because the original one I started out on, back in 2006, was JUST FINE.

    Kristabellas last blog post..So Funktified


    Comment by Kristabella on November 25, 2008
  13. I’m trying to go minimal too. I went on a huge cleaning out fest this past weekend. It definitely is cathartic! And I’ve never broken anything, which is a minor miracle because I’m a total klutz!

    180/360s last blog post..One of these kids is doing its own thing


    Comment by 180/360 on November 25, 2008
  14. I am not a fan of True Blood. I suck, sure. I am, however, sitting her and TYPING with my right hand which happens to be in a CAST. Why? Because I thought I could skate. I volunteered in the girls JK class last week, fell on my ass and wrist, and broke it. I also broke my left wrist 7 years ago, and fell out of a top bunk and broke my little toe when i was at summer camp when i was 10.


    Comment by jay on November 25, 2008
  15. I lurve True Blood! I don’t know how I’ll wait until the summer for Season 2!

    I broke my pinkie knuckle right before Christmas in 7th grade playing football in my backyard. I had to wear a huge cast on two fingers that went all the way down my wrist.

    That is one UGLY vase! ;-)

    Anonymous New Yorks last blog post..Sunday Bullets


    Comment by Anonymous New York on November 25, 2008
  16. OMG TRUE BLOOD ROCKS!!!!!!!!
    (and sorry about your toe)

    Beccas last blog post..It’s Slinky, it’s Slinky….


    Comment by Becca on November 25, 2008
  17. “Iiii beliiieeevvve I can flyyyy!
    I beeeliieeeve I can touch the skkkyyy!..”

    Broken toe (2004, kicked the shower curb) and broken left shoulder bone (LONG time ago) when I jumped off a fence thinking I could read the rope left over from the tire swing. Like R. Kelly, I believed I could fly, but the Universe said otherwise.

    P.S.: Any idea why a feed could not be found? Help!


    Comment by IrishGumbo on November 25, 2008
  18. Poor Ali (past and present).

    I have only ever broken one bone in my body (knock on wood) and I waited until I was 31 to do it.

    I broke my baby toe cooking dinner. Yup. Dropped a big ol’ cannister of utensils on the counter which knocked into a serving platter, which crashed down onto my poor toe. Amazingly, the platter didn’t break. My toe was not so lucky.

    Lucys last blog post..Do you vant to suck my blood?


    Comment by Lucy on November 25, 2008
  19. I’ve had three stress fracture’s in the same ankle, but that’s as broken as I get.

    heather…s last blog post..Maddie’s First Music Video


    Comment by heather... on November 25, 2008
  20. I’ve broken a couple toes (being a dancer that thing happens quite often) and now my big toe permanantly clicks when I walk.

    Sensibly Sassys last blog post..Was It Something I said?


    Comment by Sensibly Sassy on November 25, 2008
  21. As a young 8 year old I too wanted to experience flight. My choice was to swing really high on the swingset and just let go. Well, it was great fun until I landed on my wrist. Yep a very painful night in surgery and recovery and a few even more painful weeks as I learnt how to write with my left hand becasue apparently a broken writing hand is no excuse to miss school for 6 weeks.

    Kalles last blog post..Win It


    Comment by Kalle on November 25, 2008
  22. How will I ever go on without my True Blood on Sundays?? It will be pure torture until season 2 begins. Sorry to hear about your toe and your apples. I can’t say that I have any apple-themed items from our wedding 10 years ago, but we did get A LOT of ugly junk as wedding gifts…such as the brass(read gold-coloured plastic) clock under the glass(read plastic) dome. How can someone be that cheap?? Whatever happened to cash?


    Comment by Amberlea on November 25, 2008
  23. Uh, yeah. Age 5. Praticed crossing the monkey bars 100x until I got it *just right*. Then did the “MOOOOM! WATCH ME!” bit till she finally paid attention and on rung #3? Fell and broke my wrist. There are many pictures of me from that summer in the pool and on the slip-n-slide with a produce bag over my cast.

    Colleen – Mommy Alwas last blog post..Coffee Clutch: Baby, its COLD outside!


    Comment by Colleen - Mommy Alwa on November 25, 2008
  24. I’ve broken my wrist TWICE. It wasn’t fun either time.

    Misss last blog post..Vlogging is the new black


    Comment by Miss on November 25, 2008
  25. I have NEVER broken anything. Lucky me. And, YES, can we talk about EVERY episode of True Blood. Best show on TV (and the Tudors).

    Can you not get photobucket at work? You could just put the code in…. You have to do something about that work situation!!!

    I, too, am a “packrat who wants to be a minimalist”! Well put!

    Haley-Os last blog post..The Salmon’s Gift


    Comment by Haley-O on November 25, 2008
  26. I have never broken any bones, but I have had knee surgery…

    Angellas last blog post..I don’t mind you saying My name, but not after you stub your toe


    Comment by Angella on November 25, 2008
  27. WHERE is my Lafayette!?!?!

    Marias last blog post..Some Miscellanea for yo’ ass.


    Comment by Maria on November 25, 2008
  28. Seven fingers, an ankle or two, my wrist…though all bones that didn’t require casts, which was my life’s sole goal, sigh.

    Funny, though, other than my various sports-related injuries, I’ve never actually been admitted to the hospital!

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..Hangin’ Ten


    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on November 25, 2008
  29. I dislocated my ankle. Doing a roundoff from the end of my couch. ON THE EVE OF MY BAT MITZVAH.

    metalias last blog post..My tuition dollars at work


    Comment by metalia on November 25, 2008
  30. Randomosity! Also, NO! Lafayette!

    Zoeyjanes last blog post..On Happy Endings


    Comment by Zoeyjane on November 26, 2008
  31. You are damn funny – I like watching football with my dude too and trying to pretend I’m cleaning out a bunch of crap from our house. We love to kick back and just say “it’s a work in progress.” It makes us feel peaceful about it.
    True Blood might be too hard core for me – the blood draining of the vamps got to me.
    We got married in May ’98 and got nothin’ apple-themed. Maybe it’s where you live? Near apple orchards?

    see ya’ around…

    Lee the MWOB Queens last blog post..PART ONE – Torn in Two


    Comment by Lee the MWOB Queen on November 26, 2008
  32. Broke my pinky toe a couple times. That hurts. Blogger has the same thing with different dashboards. Weird

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Entourage


    Comment by Captain Dumbass on November 26, 2008
  33. This doesn’t relate all that much, but I once was driving to meet my friends to bowl when I changed the channel on the radio and threw out my back. THREW OUT MY BACK! CHANGING THE CHANNEL! Oy!

    Mikes last blog post..Thanks for Thanksgiving!


    Comment by Mike on November 26, 2008
  34. TRUE BLOOD ROCKS!…i so figured out who the killer was and i know what happened to Lafayette,well pretty sure about that one…on tuesday dec.2 they are replaying the first season which is good….


    Comment by LAVENDULA on November 26, 2008
  35. You totally crack me up. I think I say that every time I comment here.

    I’ve never broken anything, except perhaps my tailbone,but they don’t x-ray that. I slipped on the stairs in the rain carrying my 1 yr old at the time and had to cradle his fall, not mine, and bam, the butt was never the same.

    Rheas last blog post..Where’s the damn Yellow Brick Road?


    Comment by Rhea on November 26, 2008
  36. I saw the first episode of True Blood but don’t have HBO so haven’t seen anymore. I’ve read the book series it’s based on though and LOVE it. I need to watch this show…

    Rheas last blog post..Where’s the damn Yellow Brick Road?


    Comment by Rhea on November 26, 2008
  37. You’ve convinced me of two very important things:

    1. I must get HBO.
    2. Apple-Themed Decor is the best phrase ever. I mean, it’s versatile as a kick-ass descriptor:

    ME: “Oh, I don’t know–should I get these skinny jeans? They’re kind of ugly.”

    ALI: “Get them. They aren’t as ugly as apple-themed decor.”

    ME: You’re right. Now, I need to go buy another purse to go with this new outfit.

    ALI: I’ll buy one, too. I love purses.

    The Over-Thinkers last blog post..I have a new nickname. Not a cool one.


    Comment by The Over-Thinker on November 26, 2008
  38. But…we never did talk about this week’s episode of True Blood!


    Comment by Assertagirl on November 26, 2008
  39. I got married in 1998 too and YES WE GOT APPLE STUFF. WTF, people?
    Let’s see: I’ve broken my finger, collarbone, bones in my foot and I cracked my tailbone delivering The Boy, which felt just AWESOME.

    Becks last blog post..


    Comment by Beck on November 26, 2008
  40. I broke my big toe while walking into an empty stray margarita bucket laying in my bathroom.

    I dislocated my kneecap last November while dancing on the dance floor at a charity auction.

    Both injuries should make me want to stop drinking but I prefer to continue paying the medical bills instead.


    Comment by gorillabuns on November 27, 2008
  41. I’m now hooked on True Blood. We’re still several episodes behind because we’re getting them from my brother-in-law, though. My husband is reading all of the books now, too.

    And sorry about your toe. I hurt myself in dumb ways all the time. I tripped in 5th grade and broke my arm – so embarrassing.

    Christinas last blog post..Haiku Friday: Black Friday Revisited


    Comment by Christina on November 30, 2008
  42. Never broken anything except my pride. And my kid broke that for me.

    moosh in indy.s last blog post..Has anyone seen my answers?


    Comment by moosh in indy. on December 2, 2008
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