October 4 06

This morning I was late. Very, very late. Because it was pitch black outside, because it was raining like nuts, because my kids slept in, I woke up at 7:30. in a panic. Because I leave the house. At 7:45. which gave me exactly 15 minutes to get my ass out the door. 

How at that point do you even prioritize? 

Teeth brushed? Check. 

Contacts in? Check. 

Make-up? Check. 

Because I was rushed, my hair is in a lovely state of black hairband and messy pony/bun thing in the back. Very postmodern. or so i’ve been told. And because I was rushed, I threw on this very nice gray wrap-around sweater that I heart, but since I usually wear it with a camisole underneath…hello BOOBS! Seriously. They are all over the place today. And it’s not pretty. And because I was rushed, I threw on a pair of black pants that don’t fit me. they USED to fit me. back when I was in fighting form. Before I had Isabella. 

(see…the thing about me and pants is that we don’t do well together. Maybe it’s because I went to Jewish school for my entire life and through the 12th grade was still wearing skirts – that covered my knees, well were supposed to cover my knees, but mine never did, and I spent lots of time in detention, but detention at my school was spending your free period in a room with all your other friends whose skirts didn’t pass the knee test either. 

For whatever reason, with the exception of jeans, I own three pairs of pants. One pair that fit me like a glove. Thanks to buying them full price at Banana and actually getting someone to help me buy them. One pair that I love. They are grey flannel with a white pinstripe. I love them. But they are just a wee bit too small. And the pair I’m wearing today. Black. Really nice. Fit me really well. ONCE. Now are slightly too tight in the rear, giving me a slight semblance of muffin-butt. Great. Just the look I was hoping for. 

Someone please help me buy some pants. I went to the gap and tried on about 6 pairs of black pants. And they all looked hideous. Hideous! Please? Advice? Bueller? Anyone out there? Help a girl in need! Please!) 

And because I was rushed, I left the house without my staple diet pepsi and water bottle. Which means my cheap ass will have to buy them in the caf. 

And because I was rushed, I left the house with the husband’s keys. At least I took the right car. The stick. And let’s just say for the record that I drove the hell out of her. In the rain. And I’m rather proud of myself.  And because I was rushed, I have about 100 things to get to this morning. yes, I DO actually work at work, so I’ll leave you with this little video of Rosie O’Donnell snorting cocaine. the drink, people, NOT the drugs. I love Rosie, y’all. Love her. And this? Had me in hysterics. 

okay…also, just a little beefy-beef with my lovely little wordpress. Can we say, down. all. morning or is it my Dreamhost that’s down? How do I know? damnit to hell. This is why I switched from blogger. To something that I PAY FOR. Okay…really starting to get annoyed now…I’ve been trying to get onto my site since 8:30 and it’s now 10:09. hmph. finally. at 10:24. i’m in. yay.

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  1. Don’t feel too bad…it’s going around today. I left the house seriously late today, dressed like I am in junior high (yes I think it’s the same sweater I wore then…why do I still have this?)tripped down the stairs, slipped on the deck at daycare while dropping off my daughter, and managed to make it to work 10 minutes late. Yuck.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Katt on October 4, 2006
  2. Liz Claiborne. She saved my sanity when it comes to pant purchasing. She NAMES her pants. I’m a petite Audra. Now that I have figured this out (and it did take me a long time in the fitting room to come to this conclusion), I can blow past the Kylies and the Michaelas and go straight for the Audras. I still try them on because I cannot believe my good luck in finding pants that consistently fit and keep expecting something to go very wrong. But so far it hasn’t. You can get flat front Audras, twill Audras, etc. Once you figure out who you are in Liz’ world, it’s almost like Grranimals for your butt.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Laurie on October 4, 2006
  3. I have trouble finding good pants, too– if I can get them over my hips and rear, they’re too big in my waist…

    I did like a style from Express called “Correspondent” but it’s been discontinued. I was going to try the curvy fit from Gap but I haven’t yet. You can order custom made khakis and jeans from target.com and Lands End among other places. I’m going to try that next.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sadie on October 4, 2006
  4. Ummm…I wish I had known that I was going to see a farmer-blow. I may not have watched that clip.
    GAG.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Christine on October 4, 2006
  5. There’s this store in Mass. that I love to shop, it’s called Marshall’s and they have plenty of pants. I’m the same way, the pants are either all too long for me (although I’m 5’5″), or they don’t fit right in the hips. And they are reasonable too, I’m one of those cheapo moms too.

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    Comment by Waya on October 4, 2006
  6. ha! i was waiting for someone to comment on the rosie video!

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    Comment by amartell on October 4, 2006
  7. Love the video! Love Rosie sooooo much. Maybe even moreso now. On the pants – Reitmans makes pants that fit real women.

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    Comment by Jodi on October 4, 2006
  8. Club Monaco for pants – work with one of their salespeople to get the size right. And altered, if necessary (they tend to be long).

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    Comment by Catherine - Her Bad Mother on October 4, 2006
  9. I saw that happen on the show with Rosie…it was hilarious!! She cracks me up (no pun intended)

    [Reply]

    Comment by BlondeBlogger on October 4, 2006
  10. EWWWW to the snort but I do love Rosie and hand’t caught her on the view yet.
    Pants are always difficult and I find a whole new game with the post-baby body. I also have a nice pair from banana. I had to pay full price too but they were worth it. I went looking recently and found the banana pants were good but the holts brand were just a little better. lets not even talk about the price.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lisa b on October 4, 2006
  11. K…I know the perfect person for style advice…will send her your way. I am SO not the right person. I have issues at 5’11″ that would not be any help to your 5′little frame.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on October 4, 2006
  12. Have you checked out http://www.zafu.com? You tell it what you’re looking for in jeans, and it gives you tons of different suggestions. I’ve found it handy.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rebecca on October 4, 2006
  13. Express makes a great pant in a style called, “Editor”. The are long enough to wear sassy heels with, they sit nice on the hips, and they make your ass look smaller. What more could you ask for?

    [Reply]

    Comment by JuJuBee on October 5, 2006
  14. what EXACTLY does that mean, Emma?

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    Comment by amartell on October 5, 2006
  15. I know nothing about pants. I’ll be of no help.

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    Comment by Chris on October 5, 2006
  16. Don’t feel bad about the Gap. The last thing I found that fit in that store was a scarf. And that was in 2001. I feel your pain for pants. I suggest France. The country. But if that seems unreasonable, I have found luck at Rickies from time to time.

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