so much has happened in the last week…it’s been insane. i guess i’ll just share the highlights…
on thursday, i went to see Cinderella with Emily’s public school class. i’ve heard all about Ms. Paterson and how she really runs a tight ship. i gotta tell you – i was terrified of her. but it all worked out in the end. Emily was thrilled to have me there. she’s still young enough that having her mom around is cool, and not a colossal embarrassment. i have to cherish those moments while i still can (since she seems to be approaching teenage-hood more rapidly than most children.
on friday, i almost killed Avi. i was driving carpool and i went to take one of the kids into his house and when i came back to the car, Avi was hysterically crying and Emily was screaming, “you cut off Avi’s finger!” i swore…i believe i actually said ‘fuck’ in front of my 4-year-old, but i could see the three of us racing to North York General on Friday afternoon and i could see Avi’s parents never speaking to us again because i cut off their son’s finger with my van door…but, alas, he stopped crying, bent his finger, explained to me that the bloody finger was because he had picked some scab from before and it was actually a different finger that got caught in the door, so i swallowed the bile (ew! i hope the boy doesn’t start picking scabs…gross), and we moved on.
on friday afternoon i went to Mashie’s to discuss my Tiffany diamond. woohoo. i’m so excited. there were some concerns about breaking the ring and having to recut the diamond because it was bezel-set, but this morning she called me, and they popped the diamond and all is good in the world. i should have the ring in a few weeks. i can’t wait!
on saturday we went to the grand re-opening of the park across the street. they had taken apart the old park and put in a brand spanking new, more suited to older children park. my kids are in love. the boy especially because there’s a giant spider web climbing thing, and my boy has no fear, you see, and he climbed his way to the top without a single worry. i, on the other hand, was scared to death.
on saturday afternoon, i hit a really low place. i’ve been really feeling so good since isabella was born – i don’t think the husband knows how lucky he had it. i had only 1 stitch that healed after about a second, i was up and about so early. i was cooking, cleaning, running errands, and entertaining all before Isabella had even had a real tub bath. and the breastfeeding was working. Isabella latched her little mouth right on and sucked to her heart’s content. she wasn’t bothered by the thrush that we didn’t even know we had…but a little nystatin later and it was all good. she wasn’t bothered by the mastitis either…a little antibiotics later and that was all good. but in the last few days, it has started to hurt. and not just when she latches…the entire time. i find myself sitting in my bed, my toes curled up in pain while she’s nursing. i was at the point of giving up on saturday, but then i started to feel guilty. not because i have anything against formula and always said that i wouldn’t push myself or stress about nursing…if it didn’t work, i wouldn’t do it…but i felt guilty because it WAS working. because she’s such a good nurser and me giving up would have 100% to do with me and 0% to do with her, and i thought that wasn’t fair to her.
Sharon has confirmed that it’s thrush. she’s an expert; she can diagnose over the phone apparently, we never got rid of it the first time, or it’s come back. great.
last night we attempted to move isabella out of my bed and into her crib. i guess the husband is ready to get back in bed with me. he wants her out. i didn’t want to mess with a good thing. she was sleeping so nicely that i was afraid to tempt fate. so…the husband slept on the floor of her room. and she slept really nicely from 11:15 until 1:30..and then didn’t really sleep at all until 6. but, we think it was tummy related and not the crib so much…so we will try again tonight and hope for the best. wish us luck, please. we need it.
this morning i began freaking out. i had kind of come to terms with how i look these days. not horrible, but not all that great either. fine, i’m wearing a size 4, but when you are a size 0 normally (i know, i know…you have probably stopped feeling sorry for me at this point) it’s really not easy to find anything to wear or feel good about yourself. but, i had committed myself to pilates 3 times a week and have been eating soooo well lately, and i realized that i AM only 6 weeks postpartum and most people don’t look all that good. unfortunately, i know too many people who look fantastic right after having babies…and they’ve all just had babies… anyway, i tried to figure out where my panic attach came from this morning and then i realized…..my mother in law, my worst critic, was coming home from Wales, where she’d been for the last 3 1/2 weeks. and it was about 6 weeks after i had the boy that she said to me, “it’s time to start losing that baby weight…” which sent me into hysterics until i lost every single pound of my baby weight. fantastic…