February 15 12
I Only Speak The Truth: Water For Elephants Is Moulin Rouge

“We’re going to watch a movie tonight, right?”

My husband—known to some as the most romantic man in Canada—sent me our big Valentine’s Day plans yesterday. On GChat. That’s made me snort-laugh because, really? Truthfully, though, my husband is ridiculously good to me and surprises me with romance and lovely things on days that are not designed by Hallmark to sell chocolates and candy and expensive cards. We don’t usually do much on the big V-Day, and I’m okay with this. I was pleased, however, that he came home with surprise! Chinese food, because, as we all know, the only thing better than Chinese food is surprise! Chinese food. He also brought home two new tea flavors and three giant hunks of fudge—chocolate, vanilla Oreo, chocolate and peanut butter.

New discovery: I DON’T LIKE FUDGE. I really just like the idea of fudge. In actuality, it was way too sweet, way too chocolately, way too rich. Not for me. I’m a simple girl.

So, we settled in with a tea in each hand, ready to watch and likely be disappointed by Water For Elephants.

And this is what happens.

3 minutes in: Mommy! I just need to come into your bedroom and pee!

6 minutes in: Mama! I totally forgot this thing I need to do for my homework but I can’t remember my password. Can you email my teacher?

7 minutes in: Come in, Daddy. Over. I’m on the walkie-talkie. Over.

10 minutes in: Daddy! Wasn’t that so funny that I called you on the walkie-talkie!

13 minutes in: Hey, Daddy. Did you download those books onto my Kobo yet?

17 minutes in: Mommy! I just need to come into your bathroom and pee!

21 minutes in: Is my download ready yet?

24 minutes in:

Him: SHOSHANA! 

Me: Omg. You’re right. Christoph Waltz. Good call.

Him: SHOSHANA! 

26 minutes in: Did my teacher email you yet.

32 minutes in:

Him: SHOSHANA!

33 minutes in. BREAK. Download. Reply from teacher. Another child peeing in our room. More tea.

Back to the movie.

36 minutes in:

Him: You know what this movie is missing?

Me: A lock on our door?

Him: An Elephant Love Song Medley.

Me: You are so right.

45 minutes in:

Him: You know what this movie is missing?

Me: ANY CHEMISTRY BETWEEN REESE WITHERSPOON AND EDWARD CULLEN?

Him: Indeed. 

55 minutes in:

Him: You know what this movie is missing?

Me: The courtesan, the maharajah and the sitar player?

Him: The greatest thing you’ll ever learn IS just to love and be loved in return.

64 minutes in: SHOSHANA!

66 minutes in:

Him: This is Moulin Rough, the unawesome version

Me: At least there’s a midget? I mean, he’s not narcoleptic. Or Argentinian. But…midget!

Him: Spectacular, Spectacular. 

Me: Also, there’s no green fairy.

Him: OR ANY CHEMISTRY.

We only speak the truth. 

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  1. We watched 50/50…nothing says romance like malignant schwannoma neurofibrosarcoma.

    I had big hopes for Water for Elephants because the book! I couldn’t put the book down. But Reese Whitherspoon was too old, Cullen was too Cullen and now that you mention it? There were not enough song and dance numbers.

    Comment by moosh in indy. on February 15, 2012

  2. Ha! Okay. Interruptions from the kids? A constant (annoying) thing! But… I loved Water For Elephants AND it made me cry AND almost made me quit my job to join the circus (so I could find Edward.)

    Moulin Rouge just depressed me.

    Comment by Loukia on February 15, 2012

  3. WHAT? How are we even friends.

    Oh man. Water For Elephants was really bad, especially since the book was such a masterpiece.

    Moulin Rouge = AMAZING

    🙂

    I still love you.

    Comment by ali on February 15, 2012

  4. I love that the poster for WfE has “Love is the most spectacular show on earth” on it.
    Spectacular! Spectacular!

    Comment by Gav on February 15, 2012

  5. I have not seen either. But I don’t think I could watch Rob Pattinson in anything without anticipating for him to walk into sunlight and sparkle.

    Comment by Sharon on February 15, 2012

  6. I’ve never seen Moulin Rouge. I basically refuse. I HATE Nicole Kidman.

    Comment by Kristabella on February 15, 2012

  7. I don’t like Nicole Kidman much either…but Moulin Rouge was fabulous.

    Comment by Alimartell on February 15, 2012

  8. I’ve never seen Moulin Rouge, either. I really enjoyed Water for Elephants, though. I liked the movie so much that I went and got the book and read it in one sitting.

    Comment by Avitable on February 15, 2012

  9. Oh, I loved the book…I also, just, devoured it. I didn’t like the movie all that much…probably because the book was such a masterpiece.
    Moulin Rouge is one of my favorites. So so good.

    Comment by Alimartell on February 15, 2012

  10. I think that if I read the book first, I would not have enjoyed the movie as much.

    I love Nicole Kidman, I love Baz Luhrmann, and I love Ewan MacGregor. I don’t know why I haven’t seen Moulin Rouge yet!

    (psst – my post today is tailor made for someone like you.)

    Comment by Avitable on February 15, 2012

  11. I loved Moulin Rouge and have no plans to see Water for Elephants. Although I do very much want to read the book. And, I fear that any non-Twilight movie starring Robert Pattinson would be ruined for me because I would keep waiting for him to say, ‘Come on, Spider Monkey!’ Because WHAT?

    Comment by Jen on February 15, 2012

  12. I like that he’s “Edward Cullen.” Of course he is.

    Comment by Sweetney on February 15, 2012

  13. Will he ever NOT be Edward Cullen?!? 😉

    Comment by Alimartell on February 15, 2012

  14. I absolutely loved the book, so I’ve been hesitant to see the movie, and once I heard Edward was in it, I was even less sure I wanted to see the movie and possibly ruin my Twilight experience this November, because, yes, I’m one of those people….

    Comment by Martha on February 15, 2012

  15. I am so glad you wrote this, because I was thinking about seeing Water for Elephants, and now I know I can just rewatch Moulin Rouge and be done with it.

    Moulin Rouge is full of awesome.

    Comment by Tracie on February 15, 2012

  16. You have just answered the question of, does Issa care if she sees this.

    Comment by Issa on February 15, 2012

  17. The movie was not so good– Except Christoph Waltz was in it and I would watch him butter bread for two hours and thoroughly enjoy it. So thankfully for me, they cast him in that stinker of a movie.

    Comment by Katie on February 15, 2012

  18. I KNOW. He is a golden god.

    Comment by ali on February 15, 2012

  19. Semi related: I won’t watch any movies with My Edward until after I’ve had an appropriate resting period after Breaking Dawn Part 2 comes out.

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on February 15, 2012

  20. You guys are so cute.

    Comment by Tamara on February 15, 2012
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