Well THAT just makes my heart sing.

I’d love to be able to tell you that there are so many wonderful Hanukkah movies but truthfully, there’s not really even a single one I can endorse. I mean, sure, there is that ONE Adam Sandler song that is hilarious the first four times but then just turns into what every single Adam Sandler movie becomes—the same tired shtick. And Eight Crazy Nights just isn’t going to cut it.

But luckily for us at Casa De Martell, not only do we partake in our self-monikered winter holiday mash-up called Chrismukah (and don’t even try to tell me that Seth Cohen invented it because we were spinning dreidels in front of a Christmas tree many, many years before The OC was even a kernel in Josh Schwartz’ creative head.

Merry Chrismukah, yo!

My favorites are tried-and-true, and probably unsurprising.

Elf.

“I’m a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.”

“First we’ll make snow angels for two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie-dough as fast as we can, and then we’ll snuggle.”

“I’m singing…I’m in a store and I’m singing…I’M IN A STORE AND I’M SINGING!” 

Love Actually.

“Now which doll shall we give Daisy’s little friend Emily? The one that looks like a transvestite or the one that looks like a dominatrix?”

“The trouble with being the Prime Minister’s sister is, it does put your life into rather harsh perspective. What did my brother do today? He stood up and fought for his country. And what did I do? I made a paper maché lobster head.”

“Let’s do it. Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.”

Scrooged.

“You’ve got a promo featuring America’s favorite old fart reading a book in front of a fireplace! Now I have to kill all of you!”

“No, you are a hallucination brought on by alcohol… Russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl!”

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

“Oh, Eddie…If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.” 

“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”

A Christmas Story.

“Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl.”

“Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.” 

“Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.” 

And yes, before you get all, but no one actually LIKES A Christmas Story, Ali. I actually really like it.

It’s funny as hell, you guys.

I watch it every year when it’s on repeat on TBS.

When I asked my husband what his favorite Christmas movie was, THIS happened:

“Sixteen Candles. That one is funny.”

“…”

“With the grandparents?”

“Sixteen Candles is about a wedding.”

“With Uncle Eddie?”

“You mean National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?”

“Yes!”

“…”

“What? It’s the same guy. Rusty!”

“Negative. The Rusty in Vacation is the the same guy from Sixteen Candles. The Rusty in Christmas Vacation is the one you hate from The Big Bang Theory.”

“Oh, well that’s just stupid. Also, then Die Hard is my favorite. Or maybe Lethal Weapon. Don’t they buy trees or something?”

Please tell me you can come up with a better favorite than Sixteen Candles or an 80s action series.