The second worst thing to hear at the dentist is this:
We are going to do this today without any freezing at all!
The first worst thing to hear at the dentist is this:
WOW, THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!!
Luckily for me, I got to hear both of those things just this morning.
This is why I have a successful blog, you guys. I cannot get out of my own way. If something ridiculous is going to happen, it’s going to happen to me.
If you have been playing along and following my unfortunate turn of dental events, you would know that I have teeth that are crumbling right out of my face. Did you know that teeth nightmares are super common? It’s true! People dream about pulling teeth, rotting teeth, falling teeth, broken teeth, and crumbling teeth. Well, because I may have mentioned that ludicrous things always happen to me, this is no dream, folks. This is real life. As real as people wanting to secede from the union. So, the solution, of course is crown, crown, crown. Let’s crown the heck out of those puppies so I don’t die of pain and so that I can chew again. Also, let’s help you stop with that whole crumbling thing by giving you are super sex-ay mouth guard. I’m a sexy, sexy beast, really…but perhaps I may get to keep some of my own teeth, unless that poor Rebecca from Breaking Amish.
So. Today was the second appointment for crown #1. I had already had the hard stuff done and had a temporary crown put on. Today was supposed to be the big reveal (JAZZ HANDS!) of the new crown and a simple bait and switch action. “I can do this without freezing!” I say, all superhero-like!
And then 30 minutes turned into 45 and 45 minutes turned into 60 and that’s when I heard it…”Wow. This has never happened before!” I’m pretty sure we are going to have to take some more impressions (again) and have the lab REBUILD YOU YOUR CROWN because this one just isn’t right. So, I got to lather, rinse, repeat the original crown appointment only this time with NO DRUGS.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Also, some more ouch.
And then I got to have my temporary crown put right the heck back on my tooth.
If you need me, I’ll be over here, doing the Claire Danes ugly cry and maybe taking advantage of the 832 Gap/Old Navy/Banana Republic emails I have gotten today alone (Did you know they are having a 30% off sale?)