May 28 10

As soon as she said, “You know what would be the most special thing in the world? If I had a handsome boy Barbie for my girl Barbie to play with,” I knew.

I knew we’d be spending the morning scouring the aisles at Toys r Us, instead of taking advantage of the free swimming at the pool. You see, my baby girl has just recently discovered Barbies. Last year, her sister gave her a giant bucket of them. Emily sighed and with a giant “Barbies are for babies” handed them down to her baby sister. But, because we were moving and only taking what we could fit in our minivan (read: not very much) the Barbies have been spending a year in a storage facility in Toronto. We didn’t really give it a second thought. We brought our Littlest Pet Shops and our 447 Melissa & Doug playsets and figured we’d be golden this year.

Until she found a Barbie doll hiding under a bed.

And Isabella has been smitten ever since. She has dragged this hideous purple-and-blue haired thing everywhere. To the pool, to the park, to the dinner table. But, eventually, Barbie got bored. She needed a playmate. She needed to have a little bit more fun. She was tired of not being able to eat real food or actually go in the pool. There are only so many times she can be thrown down a giant slide before she gets a scorching case of vertigo and a serious case of the BOREDS.

So, we bought BOY BARBIE, whose name is Daniel, by the by.

And within thirty minutes, Daniel the boy Barbie swooped in and swept poor Barbie off her weird painted-on greenish boots. They danced, they sang, they kissed, they got married, and they moved in together.

They move fast, apparently.

Pretty soon, though, Daniel the boy Barbie got bored. And started dancing with Princess Ariel from the bedroom closet and Jenny from the (mega)Block(s) (box). Maybe it was Barbie’s giant pink wings or her nonremovable plastic green leotard, but whatever it was, dude got bored and the happy couple is no longer as blissfully happy as they were just hours ago.

If I didn’t know better, I’d think they sold us the wrong Boy Barbie…because he seems like he’s a Don Draper in surfer glasses and (fake) True Religion jeans.

If there’s one thing I know from the soap opera that is going on at our house right now, it’s that Emily was wrong. Barbies are most definitely not for babies.

  1. When’s a good time for me to swing by and play Barbies with Isabella? I’ll bring my own.

    Comment by foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) on May 28, 2010
  2. Are you sure that’s a Don Draper Barbie? It looks more like a Peter Campbell Barbie, which would explain his behavior – because Don Barbie wouldn’t just ditch you. Sure, he’d be falling in love with someone else on the side, but he’d still treat you well in the meantime!

    Comment by Miss Britt on May 28, 2010
  3. Oh, he’s still really good to Barbie. He even bought her a fainting couch and everything.

    Comment by ali on May 28, 2010
  4. Emily has yet to ask for a boy Barbie and that’s OK – I’m not ready for that quite yet.

    Comment by Angella on May 28, 2010
  5. My twins have one Barbie each. Daily, these poor dolls are subjected to fashion dramas, family histrionics and the occasional hospital spell. Can you imagine the soap opera that would erupt if there were boy Barbies involved as well?

    Comment by Catch the Kids on May 29, 2010
  6. Who the fuck is Daniel and what happened to Ken?

    Comment by Avitable on May 30, 2010
  7. I never played with Barbies as a kid. Now when I play with my niece, I make up all sorts of weird scenarios to amuse myself and Skyler LOVES it!

    Comment by Kristabella on June 1, 2010
  8. Why can’t they give him “real” hair? I had ONE Ken with real hair. He was from Barbie and the Rockers and he had silver pants and a mullet.

    Comment by Rhi on June 2, 2010
  9. Where Ken go? What happend with Ken?:(

    Comment by Jocuri barbie on January 22, 2012

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