November 11 11

Being an adult is so hard. Sometimes I just don’t want to do it. I want to sit around in my snowflake flannel pjs and taste test every Reese’s product and ask twitter whether or not people are supposed to wear underpants underneath tights. Because this is a very important question that I need answered.

(Underpants under tights? YES or NO.)

Yesterday, I tweeted out into the ether.

This is, by far, my most favorite part of twitter—when you tweet and no one responds. When I am simultaneously tweeting about something kind of SERIOUS and IMPORTANT while trying to be funny and well, they both backfire.

I guess it’s my own fault really. I sort of fell victim to my #1 rule on twitter: DO NOT PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY TWEET. You know what I’m talking about. Sometimes people disappoint me so much. I should just take the high road. UGH. I absolutely loathe this.

For the record, twitter rule #2: Do not tell me you have news that you can’t share. The most amazing thing in the world is happening to me but I can’t tell you until next Thursday.

#3: Do not send me auto DMs after I have followed you. Thanks for following me! Check out my website for new and exciting updates! This results in an automatic unfollow from me.

#4: Do not cross-tweet Foursquare check-ins. @xxx is the mayor of Ikea. That person is the mayor of being not-awesome. Look, I use foursquare. ON THE FOURSQUARE APP. Because that’s where that is meant to go.

#5: Do not pimp your own post more than twice a day. It’s too much.

#6: Do not tweet inspirational quotes. Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. ~ Og Mandino. What? I really don’t even understand the concept of tweeting inspirational quotes. Are you trying to inspire others with someone else’s words? Are you trying to inspire yourself? RT the hell out of Og Mandino; this I get. This: RT @OgMandino: Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. Or this: I absolutely love the shit out of Og Mandino? That makes sense to me.

(If you do tweet inspirational quotes. Can you explain this to me. I seriously, legitimately don’t understand.)

(Also, I will totally still love you.)

(We all break the rules sometimes.)

So yes, where was I. Oh, yes! I wrote about something that I didn’t really tell you about. And I apologize for this. But, really, big-girl panties are the worst. And last night I had to put them on. And really, my night was going to be a wonderful cozy night spent watching crappy tv and hanging out with my little bunnies. Instead, I went to meet a friend who I haven’t spoken to in months. A friend who used to be a best friend, but instead has become a person who doesn’t make eye contact. A friend who now sees me and superficially says an awkward hello. A friend who made some big mistakes and hurt someone very close to me.

But, I put on my panties and I went to talk to him. To hear what he had to say, to really listen. I went to talk to him. To tell him some thing that I needed to say, to really make him listen.

And you know what?

It was really hard to do.

But today? I’m feeling really good about it. I listened to what he had to say. And he listened to what I had to say.

I feel like we have a really long road ahead of us, and while some things may be unforgivable, there is a way back. There is a way towards a new normal.

Especially because he isn’t even on Twitter.


  1. If I had seen that tweet yesterday, I definitely would have responded! I so hear you about the big girl panties…but I often choose the thong 😉

    I must admit I have done #1 and #6 before! Oh well!

    Comment by Maria @amotherworld on November 11, 2011
  2. It’s okay, lady. I still love you 😉

    (We all break the rules.)

    But, can you explain the inspirational quote thing, because I legitimately do not understand it?


    Do you wear underwear under tights? It’s very important.

    Comment by ali on November 11, 2011
  3. Yes definitely underwear under tights!!!

    It sounds like yesterday was hard to do, but sometimes it is necessary to dust off those big girl panties. Good on you.

    Comment by Jen on November 11, 2011

    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on November 11, 2011
  5. No underwear under tights – it always looks weird when I see girls who do that. Either commando or, if you need underwear, a thin thong.

    I know you hate conflict, so good for you for doing that! Also, don’t you tweet about your post more than twice a day sometimes? For me, it has less to do with how many times a day and more to do with the ratio of “this is my post” tweets vs. the other tweets you have that day.

    Comment by Avitable on November 11, 2011
  6. I tweet twice. Once at about 9:30am and once at about 9:30pm…so as to get the ngihttime crowd.

    Yes. I agree on the ratio. but then I’m like…maybe this person is tweeting TOO much if they are tweeting so often that they can tweet out a link to the same post 8 times in one day. Maybe that’s just me?

    Comment by ali on November 11, 2011
  7. I think that even if you tweet twice an hour, which isn’t that much, you could probably get away with tweeting about your post every 2-3 hours without it feeling like too much.

    Comment by Avitable on November 11, 2011
  8. I guess as someone who has tweetdeck open all day at work, as social media is a huge part of my job, to me it’s too much.

    I’m sure it’s different for other people. But that’s just ME.

    Comment by ali on November 11, 2011
  9. I also appreciate when people talk about their post in different ways, too – not just “New Post: URL” – at least they’re being creative about it.

    Comment by Avitable on November 11, 2011
  10. Agreed. I try to do that. To at least make it something people might want to click on 🙂

    Comment by ali on November 11, 2011
  11. Yes, underwear under tights.

    Also, this post is so very relevant. I have some stuff at work I need to deal. I know I just need to put on my big girl panties, but sometimes I just want to wallow in my own patheticness/anger for a few minutes.

    Comment by Andrea on November 11, 2011
  12. I’ve never thought of tweeting more than once but then again, I write at 1am. I probably shouldn’t be tweeting anything.

    Inspirational tweets? should burn in hell with motivational books. I hate ’em!

    Comment by gorillabuns on November 11, 2011
  13. Um, no to underwear under tights, but I agree with Avitable – if you must, make it a teeny-weeny thong.

    For most people, tights/pantyhose/whathaveyou should smooth everything out – adding a layer of clothing between them, just increases the risk for unnecessary lines.

    Comment by Darcey on November 11, 2011
  14. Yes to underwear under tights. But I’m weird and it’s a whole sanitary thing. Tights are not underwear.

    Also, I’m going to IM you RIGHT now about this! (Not the underwear under tights thing. The conversation thing.)

    Comment by Kristabella on November 11, 2011
  15. First: Underwear under tights – YES

    Second: I missed the tweet or you know I would have bugged you on Skype to figure out what was wrong. Because I’m nosey. And because I love you.

    I’m glad you talked to him and I’m glad you think there’s a way back to the old friendship. I’m with Kristabella, I want the details… :0)


    Comment by Meghan on November 11, 2011
  16. Yes on underwear under tights. I always wear them, I feel weird without. Go you on being a big girl!

    I don’t understand a lot of things that happen on Twitter. 92 Klout tweets a day annoys me. People who only RT other people, but barely speak themselves annoy me. The tweeting the same post for days on end irritates me. I will ignore the 8 the first day, but by day three I’m starting to wonder what is wrong with someone.

    Comment by Issa on November 11, 2011
  17. The worst is the combination of the first two. Passive-aggressive vague tweeting/vaguebooking. DRIVES ME INSANE.

    Good for you for putting on your big girl panties. You’re a better person than I am. I hate confrontation, and have muchos respect for people who face it head-on.

    Comment by Mrs. Wilson on November 11, 2011
  18. Oh, and underpants under tights? YES. (That’s my opinion, anyway.) (I have no idea what the norm is.)

    Comment by Mrs. Wilson on November 11, 2011
  19. I agree with you on tweeting inspirational quotes. Nothing works more than and as effective as self-inspiration. A person with self inspiration and determination does not need any quotes. Thanks for the wonderful post!

    Comment by Rodrigo Valenzuela on November 12, 2011
  20. Oh dear….I fear that you will not love me after this. *sigh*

    If I had seen your big girl panty tweet, I would have responded. Yesterday was a weird day for me so I was sort of on but not really.

    I tweet my posts out three times a day – morning, afternoon, evening. But I do attempt to make it different each time. Do I get points for that?

    And I do one inspirational quote a day – usually first thing in the morning. I don’t know how I started but mostly it’s just how I’m feeling that day. I look for something while having my coffee. Mostly I like the funny ones (A day without sunshine is like night – Steve Martin). Although I haven’t been doing it lately mostly because I’ve been feeling like shit so they would all be like “Today I will see the positive in everything and try not to kill someone”

    For the record I just made that one up. But it’s pretty inspirational in the sense that it reminds me not to physically harm someone.

    Dear gawd, I’m babbling. The auto DM’s drive me crazy. I actually unfollow someone if they auto DM me.

    Comment by Sharon on November 12, 2011
  21. I will always love you 🙂

    Okay. first of all, I approve of three times for you, considering how often you are tweeting AND, more importantly, how often you are promoting OTHERS. I think you do that better than ANYONE else I have seen. No joke. So, because you are really promoting others, self-promotion is totally cool.


    But the inspirational quote thing. Are you inspiring yourself? Are you trying to inspire others? I’m legitimately curious.

    Comment by ali on November 14, 2011
  22. It’s not about inspiring others…just a sort of “this is how I feel today”. Which is why I haven’t been posting any lately. It’s not easy finding inspirational quotes about not face punching people.

    I may be on to something here.

    Comment by Sharon on November 14, 2011
  23. You should be writing your own face-punching quotes.
    I’d totally retweet the SHIT out of those!

    Comment by ali on November 14, 2011
  24. Panties under tights. Yes.
    Panties under Spanx. No.

    good twitter rules. except I’m too lazy to unfollow people, so I usually just bitch about the auto DMs and Foursquare updates and do nothing about it.

    Comment by Sarah on November 12, 2011
  25. yes, totally panties under tights.

    and yeah, I’m guilty of #1, and I’ve also done #6… by accident. I tweet the link, then I go on FB and share it on my page forgetting that it auto posts as tweets. ugh.

    Comment by Nenette on November 13, 2011
  26. Panties under tights – no, that’s why you buy control top tights, so you don’t have to.

    Inspirational quotes are bland boring and I will unfollow if that’s all you tweet.

    Repeatedly tweeting about your latest blog post is boring too, and if that’s all you tweet, another unfollow. I’ve decided I’m not afraid to unfollow. It’s my twitterstream, I want to be happy to see what’s in it.

    Good job with doing what you didn’t want to do. I had to do that about a year ago with my sister, it was really hard but ever since then things have been better than ever.
    I hope things work out for your friend.

    Comment by monstergirlee on November 14, 2011
  27. Definitely do not be afraid to unfollow!

    Comment by ali on November 14, 2011
  28. Oh my gosh, I hope you didn’t think I was talking about You – Ali – it was a general “you” people on twitter.

    Comment by monstergirlee on November 14, 2011
  29. No no no! I didn’t! I definitely didn’t!

    Comment by ali on November 14, 2011
  30. ? ??

    Comment by ????????? ?? on August 21, 2013

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