Josh: i want to change out of my bathing suit in the car, mommy.
Me: are you kidding? why?
Josh: so no one will see my wiener. [he did actually use the word wiener. and i’m still laughing about it]
Me: look. if you put your shirt on first, it will cover your *wiener*
Josh: but mommy, my penis is WAY too big for that. people will still see it hanging out on the bottom. [beat] and they will be jealous.