Isabella has gone up two more levels in reading. Hearing news like that makes me tear up a bit. I wish there was a way to say that without seeming all neener, neener, my kid is better than your kid. You have to know this is exactly the opposite of my intent here. I was worried about her. I was worried that she wouldn’t be a reader. And some kids just aren’t. But I just never imagined I’d be the mother of a non-reader. My mother and I suffer from the same disease…the inability to pass a bookstore without spending at least $100 $200 on lovely-looking and lovely-smelling new books to curl up on the couch with and get lost in.
Only now there is something of a restraining order in place. I am not allowed within three feet of an establishment that sells books of any kind, lest I bankrupt our family.
Let me tell you how much fun this is at the airport.
While I know you are going to pull the old LIBRARY card on me, I will tell you that I have issues with library books. All I think about while I am holding the library book in my hand is what is that mystery smear and HOW MANY BATHROOMS HAS THIS BOOK BEEN IN? The commode is one of the most popular places to read. You know, while a peson’s nether bits are exposed. All I can possibly think about are all of the orifices that may have germified this very edition. S
My mom has a room in her house that looks like this, only, obviously, with slightly fewer Beasts in oversized blue blazers and puffy shirts roaming about.
Each time I visit, I spend hours thumbing my way through the books, deciding how many books I can borrow steal before my suitcases are over the allotted fifty pounds. I work the math out in my head, but once I realize that I average about a book a week (Recently loved: The Weight of Silence, The Heretic’s Daughter, Half Broke Horses. Recently completely and totally underwhelmed by: Olive Kitteridge), I know I am completely screwed. BUT, here’s the thing. My mother is planning to downsize. Yes she is. Right now she and the mayor live in a giant house that they totally don’t need. They live on a giant lake that they totally don’t use. They live in a house with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves of bookshelves they totally don’t need.
I am already plotting my pillaging.
Anyone have a spare U-Haul?
Or any books I can borrow that haven’t been anywhere near your ass?
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