Circa 10:30pm, in my bedroom.

Found in between my tits.

Circa 9:00pm, on the subway.

A gaggle of nine teenagers who won’t shut up. They were all dressed the same, like waiters or musicians or private school students, in black bottoms and white button-down shirts. They were amidst a heated discussion about the best thing that ever happened to them.

“I totally once lost 5 pounds in a weekend. And I didn’t even have the stomach flu. It was amazing!”

“Oh my god, you are so lucky!”

“I know, right?”

Yes. The best thing. Weight loss.

Circa 8:50pm, at the ScotiaBank theatre.

One Day was good.

Very good.

I was not expecting this. I was expecting to be troubled by certain parts that troubled me in the book (but with the exception of one…those things were cut from the movie. Just cut right out.)

I was expecting to be troubled by Anne Hathaway’s obvious miscasting in the role of Emma, as, if you hadn’t noticed, she’s not even English. But hot damn, she was *gulp* a good fit. Sure, her accent was all over the bloody place and, like, ridiculously BAD, but she got the comedic timing and the bumbly-ness of Emma perfectly. It was a whole Robert Pattinson situation. Remember that? When it was announced that the role of the positively perfect Edward was going to be played by that kid who was in Harry Potter and not by someone like Chace Crawford and everyone whined and complained and then 4 minutes into the movie tongues are being bitten and feet are being removed from mouths because oh my heavenly days that kid IS Edward Cullen.

The movie was quick, funny, smart, impressive.

I am just as shocked as you are. Trust me.

Circa 6:50pm, at the ScotiaBank theatre.

Seth’s and Knives’ nookie still didn’t stop me from my popcorn dinner.

There is, however, a possible popcorn in the cleavage situation. It’s too inappropriate to check.

Yes, I realize the irony here, considering what was happening right beside me.

Circa 6:30pm, at the ScotiaBank theatre. 

The most interesting couple on the planet. She has her DSi and is playing a very intense game of Wheel of Fortune. He is eating THREE cheeseburgers and two fries while yammering on about the photoshop greatness he was doing at work that day. He also dropped information containing the following things: twitter, comic books, clip art, Harry Potter, ComicCon, corduroy pants, Star Trek, Yoda, LARPing. I am desperately trying to not listen to their conversation or gawk at how many burgers this skinny guy can fit into his gob at one time or comment on how much he looks like Seth Cohen and how much she looks like Knives Chau.

THEN, Seth’s right hand is in between Knives’ thighs.

I kid you not.

His left hand still palming his burger, his right hand exploring special lady place. In a movie theater. In a movie theater.

Circa 6:00pm, on the streetcar.

Ali gives up her seat for the pregnant woman who is not pregnant.

Yes. My life is just like Ashley Hebert’s.

Where’s my JP?