This morning I was late. Very, very late. Because it was pitch black outside, because it was raining like nuts, because my kids slept in, I woke up at 7:30. in a panic. Because I leave the house. At 7:45. which gave me exactly 15 minutes to get my ass out the door. 

How at that point do you even prioritize? 

Teeth brushed? Check. 

Contacts in? Check. 

Make-up? Check. 

Because I was rushed, my hair is in a lovely state of black hairband and messy pony/bun thing in the back. Very postmodern. or so i’ve been told. And because I was rushed, I threw on this very nice gray wrap-around sweater that I heart, but since I usually wear it with a camisole underneath…hello BOOBS! Seriously. They are all over the place today. And it’s not pretty. And because I was rushed, I threw on a pair of black pants that don’t fit me. they USED to fit me. back when I was in fighting form. Before I had Isabella. 

(see…the thing about me and pants is that we don’t do well together. Maybe it’s because I went to Jewish school for my entire life and through the 12^th grade was still wearing skirts – that covered my knees, well were supposed to cover my knees, but mine never did, and I spent lots of time in detention, but detention at my school was spending your free period in a room with all your other friends whose skirts didn’t pass the knee test either. 

For whatever reason, with the exception of jeans, I own three pairs of pants. One pair that fit me like a glove. Thanks to buying them full price at Banana and actually getting someone to help me buy them. One pair that I love. They are grey flannel with a white pinstripe. I love them. But they are just a wee bit too small. And the pair I’m wearing today. Black. Really nice. Fit me really well. ONCE. Now are slightly too tight in the rear, giving me a slight semblance of muffin-butt. Great. Just the look I was hoping for. 

Someone please help me buy some pants. I went to the gap and tried on about 6 pairs of black pants. And they all looked hideous. Hideous! Please? Advice? Bueller? Anyone out there? Help a girl in need! Please!) 

And because I was rushed, I left the house without my staple diet pepsi and water bottle. Which means my cheap ass will have to buy them in the caf. 

And because I was rushed, I left the house with the husband’s keys. At least I took the right car. The stick. And let’s just say for the record that I drove the hell out of her. In the rain. And I’m rather proud of myself.  And because I was rushed, I have about 100 things to get to this morning. yes, I DO actually work at work, so I’ll leave you with this little video of Rosie O’Donnell snorting cocaine. the drink, people, NOT the drugs. I love Rosie, y’all. Love her. And this? Had me in hysterics. 

okay…also, just a little beefy-beef with my lovely little wordpress. Can we say, down. all. morning or is it my Dreamhost that’s down? How do I know? damnit to hell. This is why I switched from blogger. To something that I PAY FOR. Okay…really starting to get annoyed now…I’ve been trying to get onto my site since 8:30 and it’s now 10:09. hmph. finally. at 10:24. i’m in. yay.