Him: Look at this picture of my dad and I.
Me: My dad and me.
Him: No, you weren’t there. And that’s not your dad.
It’s basically a reflex at this point. I don’t even realize that I’m doing it. I’m A Corrector. I’m quite literally bringing my work home with me. I’m a language bully.
I’m basically Hermione Granger.
Now normally I’d apologize and more on, until the next me/I infraction comes across my gentle ears, but I’m starting to realize that I have six small ears that hear it.
And are now starting to do as I do.
The three of them are constantly correcting each other’s every word, movement, and song lyric. And it’s never a super polite, “Oh, sister, excuse me for contracting you, but…” Oh no, it’s a flat out YOU ARE WRONG AND I AM RIGHT NEENER NEENER. Over, of course, the most benign things.
Her: “My shorts are long enough.”
Him: “No they aren’t.”
Her: “Yes they are.”
Him: “No they aren’t.”
Me: OH MY GOD WHO CARES?!?
Him: Yeah, well who cares if it’s fewer or less when I’m telling you an important story?
I guess I need to be better about correcting people.
If I want my little people to be better about correcting people.
If I want the internet to be better about correcting people.
Because that’s a thing I see far too much of. People behind their computers being so quick to tell you when you are wrong. You pour out your heart, soul, and words into a blog post and the only comment says, “YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT X.” You try to make a joke and someone is quick to point out the error in your jovial logic.
I told my kids this morning that unless it is going to hurt someone or help someone, they should keep those knee-jerk correcting thoughts to themselves. If it doesn’t make a single bit of difference in Isabella’s life (other than the obvious aggravation and tears that will follow), is it really all that important to tell her that in Party in the USA, the airport is not, in fact, called LAS? Is it really important to tell her that her heiney is called a buttocks and not a butt-chocks? And seriously, does she really need to know about all the words in Let It Go that she sings completely incorrectly? Is is really important to Joshua if Emily’s shorts are a little short?
And does it really matter if it’s fewer or less when he’s telling me an important story?
(Well, maybe. Depends on the context.)
(I’m a work in progress…)