January 18 13

My son named our dog.

“Mama, his name has to be Indiana.”

“Why’s that, bud?”

“Because,” he said, in his best Sean Connery-esque Scottish accent, “We named the *dog* Indiana.”

(If you get the reference, we can be instant friends.)

dog named Indiana

Two important things were decided that day four years ago. The first was that our dog had the best dog name in the history of dog names.

The second was that my children—all three of them—had become me…they were officially living their lives in movie quotes. See also: television quotes. See also: song lyrics.

It’s our cross to bear, really. We live with the burden that for the most part, no one ever has any clue what we are talking about.

I mean, I drop them all of the time.

movie quotes

It seems we are not alone, though.

Apparently, Golden Globe winner Jennifer Lawrence lives her life in movie quotes too, and ruffled some Twitter feathers when she opened her acceptance speech with a Bette Midler quote from The First Wives Club. The funny thing is that even *I* didn’t get it at first. And that’s crazy talk, really, because I’m the girl you want on your team when it comes to movie quote trivia, because, dude, I can recite the lines from movies that no one has ever seen, and there are some movies I can act out from start to finish without taking a breath. I’m like that bizarre Jack Black movie where he erases the video store tapes and then decides to just reshoot them himself. (No? No one? Just me?)

Ask me to act out Annie when you see me next. It’s impressive. Just make sure that you have at least an hour and a half for the performance. Oh, and I can follow up with The Sound of Music, but I only do the first half. Once the Nazis come, I’m out. Oh, and I’m not a very excellent yodeler.

But anyway, I was so distracted by what was happening in Jennifer Lawrence’s, um, chestal area, that all I heard was the “I beat Meryl” part of the speech and I thought, “Well, that’s kind of a jackassy thing to say.” I didn’t, like Lindsay Lohan, take to Twitter and start bitching about how Jennifer Lawrence hates Meryl Streep because SHE’S MERYL STREEP. But I most certainly was not on the Katniss love train.

Until now.

This Letterman video, man. She’s awesome. She’s not Anna Kendrick awesome, of course, but she’s really adorable. You really need to watch this in its entirely. Because you guys. YOU GUYS. I am a fan.

And now, obviously, I need my chance on Letterman. I mean, I’m not famous for anything.

Well, for anything other than living my life in movie quotes. And I can act out every movie I have ever seen.

And that’s something…right?

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  1. Be Kind Rewind! I watched that movie while on cold medication and now I’m no longer convinced Jack Black wasn’t in Ghostbusters.

    ali replied on

    This comment—everything about it—makes my week!

    Loren replied on

    This is the obscure movie referencing that will prevent my divorce in the future. Mike is the only other person I know in real life who knows what I’m talking about half the time.

    Movies are more than just entertainment. I learned how to crack an egg one-handed by watching Hepburn in Sabrina. These are life-changing events!

    Comment by Denika Anderson on January 18, 2013
  2. I totally forgot about that scene in the movie!! She is adorable.

    Comment by Pgoodness on January 18, 2013
  3. Is it me or is Letterman getting a little senile? He asked some repetitive questions too.

    She came across really well-spoken and well put together. I’m impressed.

    ali replied on

    Is he? I just thought that was part of his schtick?

    Comment by Avitable on January 18, 2013
  4. Jesus. She is fantastic. I wish I had been watching the Globes live because there is a small chance that I would have realized what she was quoting as First Wives Club is one of my FAVORITE movies.

    ali replied on

    The beginning of the quote sort of got cut off a bit, I think. The part where she says, “look what it says,” I think it just got completely lost in the moment, yanno?

    Also, it’s not the most common quote.

    Comment by Jen on January 18, 2013
  5. The only way my brothers and I tend to communicate is through movie/TV quotes. I laugh that at 32 I can’t remember my times tables most of the time…but I can pretty much quote a movie or Simpsons episode that works for any situation occurring in my day to day life. My husband thought my family was crazy when he first started dating me. Now he too can throw out lines with the best of them. Makes me proud.

    ali replied on

    That’s just it..I’m like…I don’t remember what I had for breakfast this morning, but quote a line from a movie that came out in 1984? SURE!

    Comment by Jules on January 18, 2013
  6. ..also….From Indiana Jones (obviously :) )

    Comment by Jules on January 18, 2013
  7. First. Of course I get that reference. Second. I live my life in movie quotes. Nothing makes me happier than when my daughter brakes out an old school quote in random conversation. It is my legacy.

    I do a damn fine Steel Magnolias. Second only to my follow up performance of the entirety of Philadelphia Story.

    That video is awesome. It has officially made me into a Jennifer Lawrence fan. Also, I now want to tweet “What’s anal leakage?”

    Comment by Tracie on January 18, 2013
  8. [...] thanks to a post by my Canadian sister by another mister, Ali Martell, I have been inspired to do it again. In the following short story, there are 33 [...]

    Pingback by The movie and television trivia contest that will explode your brain. Plus, you can win prizes. | Avitable on January 18, 2013
  9. Bwa ha ha, I do that too. In fact, if one of my kids wants to watch a movie and they forget the title, they either throw a movie line at me or they say “that one with that guy with the thing the one time” and I completely get it. I am the goddess of completely un-practical movie and tv knowledge. And I love it!!
    If we ever meet, you act out Annie, and I’ll do Pretty Woman (because sadly, I know the whole damn thing).

    Comment by Nuala Reilly on January 18, 2013
  10. I have very fond memories of that dog.
    I can enact most movies, especially of the SpaceBalls, Princess Bride, Blazing Saddles era(Where all the white women at?) Oh, good lord. I am hopeless. Great post;I’m glad to know I’m not alone.

    Comment by Shevaun on January 18, 2013
  11. That was one of the most hilarious and also kind of awkward interviews ever. David Letterman seems to have a hard on for Jennifer Lawrence. I like her, though, she’s witty and sassy and, well, perfect, as she already stated. And SHE BEAT MERYL!

    Comment by Jen Wilson on January 18, 2013
  12. Also, I could name every movie/TV show from that poster thing, so where’s my cookie? We talk a lot in Friends quotes. FINE BY ME! PIVOT!

    Comment by Jen Wilson on January 18, 2013
  13. Ha, I came to say
    Be Kind Rewind

    And, son of a beach, someone beat me to it.

    I would say I’m *pretty* good with the quotes. I mean, I’m not the best, but I can hold my own. My husband though? He’s also the guy you want on your team.
    There were years where we basically only talked in Friends quotes.
    Whenever he texts me using the wrong ‘your’ (which is pretty much every time. He’s a terrible speller) I ALWAYS text him back “Y-o-u-r spells YOUR. y-o-u-r-e spells YOU ARE” … You’d think he would remember by now.

    Comment by AMY on January 18, 2013
  14. I know almost all of the quotes up there. Ahem. Even my son, who is four uses lines correctly, which cracks me up when he hasn’t even seen the movie. His sisters and I are a bad influence. Heh.

    Anna Kendrick on Letterman is just pure amazing. I adore her.

    Comment by Issa on January 18, 2013
  15. I win The 80s Game and The 90s Game pretty much every time on just 3 categories—TV, music, and movies. Really angers my husband! :)

    Comment by Alison on January 18, 2013
  16. I love that scene and fully plan to name our someday dog Indiana or Jones that would be a good name too

    Comment by Corey Feldman on January 18, 2013
  17. Our dog came (at 9 months) with the name Indie. We have no idea why, but my husband likes to tell people it’s from Indiana Jones :)

    And Friends quotes…good lord, yes. Me and my husband–it’s good, because we get EACH OTHER’S references. Screw everyone else.

    Comment by Kate on January 19, 2013
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