My son named our dog.
“Mama, his name has to be Indiana.”
“Why’s that, bud?”
“Because,” he said, in his best Sean Connery-esque Scottish accent, “We named the *dog* Indiana.”
(If you get the reference, we can be instant friends.)
Two important things were decided that day four years ago. The first was that our dog had the best dog name in the history of dog names.
The second was that my children—all three of them—had become me…they were officially living their lives in movie quotes. See also: television quotes. See also: song lyrics.
It’s our cross to bear, really. We live with the burden that for the most part, no one ever has any clue what we are talking about.
I mean, I drop them all of the time.
It seems we are not alone, though.
Apparently, Golden Globe winner Jennifer Lawrence lives her life in movie quotes too, and ruffled some Twitter feathers when she opened her acceptance speech with a Bette Midler quote from The First Wives Club. The funny thing is that even *I* didn’t get it at first. And that’s crazy talk, really, because I’m the girl you want on your team when it comes to movie quote trivia, because, dude, I can recite the lines from movies that no one has ever seen, and there are some movies I can act out from start to finish without taking a breath. I’m like that bizarre Jack Black movie where he erases the video store tapes and then decides to just reshoot them himself. (No? No one? Just me?)
Ask me to act out Annie when you see me next. It’s impressive. Just make sure that you have at least an hour and a half for the performance. Oh, and I can follow up with The Sound of Music, but I only do the first half. Once the Nazis come, I’m out. Oh, and I’m not a very excellent yodeler.
But anyway, I was so distracted by what was happening in Jennifer Lawrence’s, um, chestal area, that all I heard was the “I beat Meryl” part of the speech and I thought, “Well, that’s kind of a jackassy thing to say.” I didn’t, like Lindsay Lohan, take to Twitter and start bitching about how Jennifer Lawrence hates Meryl Streep because SHE’S MERYL STREEP. But I most certainly was not on the Katniss love train.
This Letterman video, man. She’s awesome. She’s not Anna Kendrick awesome, of course, but she’s really adorable. You really need to watch this in its entirely. Because you guys. YOU GUYS. I am a fan.
And now, obviously, I need my chance on Letterman. I mean, I’m not famous for anything.
Well, for anything other than living my life in movie quotes. And I can act out every movie I have ever seen.
And that’s something…right?