Tova: How are you doing this evening?
Waitress at Kimono’s restaurant: not too good actually
Tova: really, why?
Waitress: i have a migraine. i don’t want to be here.
*crickets*
Tova: do you want an advil?
this is not a joke. this is an actual conversation that took place at one of our dinners.
we had read things about Sandals in St. Lucia that made us drool with anticipation. amazing service. everything is “no pressure, no problem” it’s like Cheers - your drinks are always full and everyone remembers your name. it’s worth the well-over-2,ooo a person because it’s THE BEST.
we actually found none of these things to be true.
before i continue, i must add in a little disclaimer. i LOVED my vacation. i spent 7 days in a gorgeous place with nothing to worry about. i was completely unplugged. no work. no kids. nothing. i spent each day eating drinking, and lying in the sun with my itouch and my book. i got to spend good quality time with my best friends and my husband. it was exactly what i wanted.
if you ask my friends, at some point of every day i proclaimed “THIS is a really good day.”
but, i still don’t know if i can recommend the Regency. because of the one thing only. the service.
there were exactly TWO people on the entire resort who smiled - Wayne by the pool and Hyacinth at the Pavilion. everyone else pretty much ignored us. the entire week.
Most people seemed annoyed if we asked for anything. a table for six was an annoyance. a cup of coffee was an annoyance. a drink at the swim-up bar was an annoyance. a table for lunch at Arizona’s was an annoyance. extra towels were an annoyance. it got to the point where we were tired of waiting and we just followed our own self-serve method. Ilana would go behind the bar and get us the drinks herself. The husband would go and get us our coffee himself. and Jack would push the tables together.
some of the days our room wasn’t cleaned. some of the days we got our beds turned down. some days we didn’t. ONE of the days we got a schedule for the next day. the other days we did not. sometimes that activities listed on the board happened, mostly they didn’t. my husband is STILL waiting for the banana-eating contest.
we took these things in stride, and laughed ‘em off. it became a long-standing joke between the six of us. We didn’t let it bring us down…but i doubt it will be bringing us back to a sandals anytime soon…
for now…i’ll just let Isabella have all the fun
“Mama, i wear your boobies, okay?”
(please note…that cute little demon screamed the house down for 2.5 hours last night before going to sleep. GRRRRR)
