Josh: Wanna know something freaky, Mommy?

Me: Always.

Josh: Well, so, you know how god is invisible AND he’s everywhere?

Me: ….

Josh: Well, so he could be sitting right here next to me in the car. And I wouldn’t even know.

Isabella: Maybe you could hear him breathing. Quick, everyone be really, really quiet. Maybe he’s next to me. OR, maybe he is ON my nose!

Josh: Maybe he is INSIDE your nose, and every time you pick your boogers you are picking little pieces of him.

Isabella: Don’t be gross Josh.

Josh: Hey, Mommy? If god is invisible, how do we know that he is a he?

Me: Maybe he isn’t. Maybe he is Alanis Morissette.

Josh: Who?

Me: Never mind. You were saying?

Josh: Well, my teacher TOLD me to put a beard on him when I was drawing him, so I just assumed he was a man, and not, you know, a bearded lady like in the circus. But, maybe my teacher was wrong and maybe god is a lady.

Isabella: God is a not a man. Or a lady.

Josh: But how do you know?

Isabella: Because I have seen him.

Me: …..

Josh: Wha?

Isabella: Mommy, REMEMBER, he is a scary burny man bush.

Me: *giggles* (she said scary burny man bush)

Isabella: IT IS NOT FUNNY.

Me: I wasn’t laughing at you, babe. Yes, I remember your nightmares.

Isabella: Thanks a lot, Josh. Now I’m going to be afraid all day that a scary bush is in my nose and is going to start talking to me at camp. You are the best brother ever.

Josh: I know, right?

AND…SCENE.