I was all set today to write a post of all the things that are NOT on notice (yanno, tits list) after being all hating in my post on Friday…it was going to include things like The West Wing. Really? Has there ever been a better show? I don’t think so. And don’t you dare say Jersey Shore, although that show certainly makes me happy these days, if only because it makes the girls on The Hills and The City look less greasy. Seriously, is there a reason why all women on these reality-ish shows insist on not grooming their hair? Is the greasy, I haven’t showed in 6 days look popular with the menfolk? I mean, you know, some days I go two three days without showering, but I guarantee you that I never look like Pookie or whatever the hell her guido name is today. oh, and for the record, my JS nickname is…WAIT FOR IT…The Back End. I swear. Just ask her, she got to see the written proof. The Back End.
So, yes, you were going to get the GOOD THINGS today, but movable type had some sort of nervous tick this morning and ate an entire post of mine which annoyed the crap out of me, because I don’t know how badly I want to rewrite my post for Juice about Jude Law moving in with Sienna Miller. At least I got my So You Want It post up before MT screwed me in ass (well, I am not called The Back End for nothing, I guess). You see what I did there? I announced my new writing gig over at urbanmoms.ca – oh yes I did. And while I am pimping myself out, I may as well point you towards my new post up at Aiming Low today where I am SURPRISE! complaining some more, but at least I quote movies like The Princess Bride to cover up the whiney whine.
Oh, but wait, there was a post in there somewhere. oh yes! Indeed! From the You’re on Notice files. Things #1 and #2. If you follow me on twitter, I almost feel bad for you. Because you were subjected to this.
oh. yes. There really are no words to describe the demons that overtook my children this weekend. The kids are usually fairly well-behaved. I say fairly because, you know, they are kids so dealing with the occasional public meltdown or sibling squabble is normal and expected. But this? I don’t even know what this is. Josh was adorable when I came to watch him perform his Hebrew song at VIP day.
(yes, that IS him standing in the middle of the stage sporting the giant Mario yarmulke)
And they were adorable when we lit the first-night-of-Chanukah candles and made videos.
BUT somehow, all that adorable turned into Josh punching Emily in the face and giving her a nosebleed. And then it was pretty much downhill from there. There were time-outs and desserts taken away and parties that they weren’t allowed to go to. There were darts thrown in my direction and “I HATE YOU”s thrown in my direction. and diet cokes spilled all over me and my clothes and my bed and my laptop.
And then there were light saber fights with a red and blue marker that ended up ON THE WALLS AND ON THE CARPET. So, I pretty much spent my entire Sunday on my knees with some resolve and EIGHT Mr. Clean magic erasers, which proved to be not as magical as I’d hoped.
but, the day ended with carpets that I was actually able to clean myself. And some walls that I was able to get into decent shape. And pretty much the best grilled cheese sandwich I have ever eaten. And 4 12 homemade peanut butter cups. And writing. Because, yes, you heard it here first. I am writing a book. It’s true that I have at least half a dozen half-written books (because like Jodi Picoult, endings are not my forte) sitting in word documents. But this one? This one is happening. And I am excited about it. And I have an outline! And characters who I already am in love with! And an ending! I can’t wait to get to that point. Where it has an ending.