I agree, Ali. It is always hurtful, and people can be darn insensitive. xo

I hear you. People are likely jealous of your genetic makeup and lifestyle and so to make themselves feel better they point out how thin you are, in a seemingly negative way, because that’s how they want to be but can’t for whatever reason. Not necessary to make comments on people’s weight – thin or not. I’m fed up of people saying to me, “Why aren’t you thin? You don’t eat very much (um… hey f*@k you… stop watching what I eat!) and you exercise a lot. What’s wrong?” I’m so fed up of all of it. Who cares? People should ask if you’re happy or how your day went, not why you weigh what you do. This angers me.

TRUTH. Until I was pregnant with my first daughter, I was 5’4″ (well, still am) and 115 pounds. I got told to eat A LOT. The thing is, though, I DID eat. A LOT. And I was EXTREMELY active in before/during/after school activities and I walked to and from school every single day.

“Thin” doesn’t always mean “anorexic”. “Fat” doesn’t mean “lazy over-eater”.

People are mean.

Wow, wishing someone a good fast and getting that response somehow makes it even worse in my head. Not only is it truly disrespectful and full of assumptions, it was from a member of a community that should be caring and loving to one another.

Thank. You. I’ve been told the most awful, judgmental things about being small. I must never eat. I should take someone else’s fat. I must be going to the bathroom to throw up after dinner. I’m not allowed to feel big or heavy or be sad about gaining weight (I’m almost 6 months pregnant). I’m constantly given crap about working for a magazine called “Curvy Girl Guide,” which is why I wrote this:

http://www.curvygirlguide.com/self-body/feed-that-woman-a-cheeseburger/

Not okay at any weight. I’m done being told how to feel about my body, or what I should eat. Thank you again; this is awesome.

Ali, I had to come here right after I read your FB message. Funny we both wrote about this today. Well, so many people are, so maybe not so funny. BUT GOOD! As I said in my piece, there are great messages in what she said. And if people want to call it that, then MAN have I been bullied since becoming a writer! I just don’t like to see this kind of “hate mail” (which alas is inevitable because people are mean) equated to what gay kids go through in high school. I don’t want to dilute the term. You look gorj and healthy, btw! xo Love your post!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with calling it “bullying” really, but setting the segment up specifically as an anti-bullying effort irked me. Livingston’s use of the incident to preach anti-bullying was a bit presumptuous, I guess is what I’m ultimately saying in terms of the video itself (I used it more as a springboard for discussion in my own article). I would have liked her to focus more on the issues you did here. The hurt, the judgment, weight-bashing, etc.

Amen. My relatives, of all people, were the worst. Because they knew so and so who was anorexic then I MUST have been too. They didn’t believe me when I said I weighed more than 100 lbs (107 at the time). It got so bad that at my grandfather’s wake (yes, his wake!) my mother went into the house, grabbed a scale and had me stand on it in front of said relatives. It shut them up for a while to know that yes, I did in fact weight more than 100 lbs. I was never so happy to finally gain weight as I did about eight years ago. Mind you there are people who don’t really believe I weigh closer to 130 lbs now. I will admit, I would be happier in my skin if I was about 10 lbs lighter, but I look healthy at my current weight and most of my clothes still fit (jeans without spandex not so much, and I finally got rid of my university grad outfit…17 years later!).
Sometimes it actually does suck to be skinny. 🙁

I was recently in a situation where we were giving away t-shirts to people of many different sizes, and I found it so odd that there were men and women who were just as embarrassed to say they need a small — or even ask for an extra small — as those asking for 2X and 3X shirts. It was as if they knew there was the possibility someone might say something about just how small they are.

I understand the shame people might feel asking for a larger size because I, too, have been there. But seeing that same look in the eyes of thin people (as well as reading your thoughts in this post) was a real eye-opener.